My Nightmares Have Turned Into Dreams: Facebook Page Now Online

Dear Readers,

I don’t know if you understand how much I appreciate you. I am so sorry that I have only said this about once a year at Christmas or Easter, but I am so very grateful for all of you.  I get so caught up in the daily rituals of life, and trying to keep this Blog running that I have neglected to acknowledge each and every one of you –even those who don’t like me or who totally disagree with most everything I write.

My delay in gratitude is also because, over the past several months, I have been healing from some pretty serious trauma and emotional devastation. This healing work has been time-consuming and hard, but the most liberating thing I have ever experienced. It is truly transformative work, but to a degree that is indescribable.

I am healthier, more peaceful, and more awake than I have been in decades.

My healing work has now brought me to a new level, and I just published my Ordinary Evil Facebook Page. Some of you have been waiting for this, so I wanted to tell you right away.

It is in the infancy stages, so please hang in there while I work out all the kinks, and while I figure out what and when to post there.

I know some of you won’t comment at a Facebook Page because of privacy issues, and I respect that, but if you could still click “Like” and share it, that would be great! I think there is a way to keep your FB posts private right? If anyone knows how, and could tell people how to do this, I would appreciate a comment on this article to explain it to my readers…and to me!

I hope that many of you will hit the Facebook “Like” button, which is now at the top right corner of my Blog Homepage. Or, here is the link to the Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/evilsitsatthedinnertable?ref_type=bookmark

Remember that if you want to be notified whenever I post something, or someone else posts something on the FB Page, you will need to set your notifications for that.

What I experienced as a child should have killed me, but I am more alive today than maybe even the day I was born.

I lost most of my dreams when I became sick twenty-one years ago –literally sick from the unhealed incest and trauma, but my goals and dreams have now been revived. I am going to get back to my book manuscript and get it published. It needs to get out there because I know it can help many people, and hopefully children.

I am also learning to play guitar, which is something I have wanted to do for a very long time.

Until recently, incest-induced self-sabatoging behavior had caused me to stop myself from learning to play guitar, and from experiencing life. That’s what deep-seated guilt and shame will do to a person.

Thank you again for all your support, comments, and thanks to the silent readers as well.

Please encourage others to “Like” my FB Page if you so desire, and please let me know if you are able to comment there. I am unsure if I made the correct settings.

~In peace and Love, Alethea

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Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Crime, News, rape and abuse, repressed memory | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Child Sexual Abuse: It’s Okay To Say It Felt Good

I LOVE Matthew Sandusky because he had the guts to appear on International television and tell the world that when his adoptive father, legendary football coach Jerry Sandusky, gave Matthew oral sex, it felt good.

Do you know how many men he has helped by being so brave? Do you realize how many children Matthew has helped by being so honest with himself and the public?
As I have written in numerous articles, and to quote Oprah: “It’s okay to say it was pleasurable.”

The hour-long interview between Oprah and Matthew Sandusky aired last Thursday evening.

Oprah and Matthew

With tears in his eyes, Matthew told Oprah that when Jerry Sandusky gave him oral sex, he said he was so confused because he had “a [sexual] reaction, and you don’t know what’s happening, but it’s just what it is I guess. I don’t want to say that it’s pleasurable, but it’s not –it’s not the most painful thing I guess.”

Oprah immediately picked up on Matthew’s shame and discomfort. Oprah stepped in with strength. She told him in that moment, “You can say it’s pleasurable.” Oprah then continued in a strong and direct voice:

“This is what people don’t understand about sexual abuse. People think that sexual abuse is somebody throwing you against the wall, and torturing you or raping you…they don’t understand that the aim and the intention of the perpetrator is to make it pleasurable, so you will be confused.”

Matthew Sandusky had indeed been highly confused by Jerry Sandusky.

Jerry Sandusky kissed his teenage son on the mouth, digitally penetrated him, and forced Matthew to give his father oral sex.

Jerry

Unsurprisingly, at age seventeen, Matthew attempted suicide with carbon monoxide poisoning, and an overdose of aspirin.

After the suicide attempt, Jerry Sandusky stopped the sexual abuse, but he continued to place his hand on Matthews leg, and, through psychological manipulation, Jerry made sure Matthew would continue to keep the secret.

 

I had numerous opportunities to tell people… and I didn’t. “I was afraid of that man.”

When Jerry Sandusky was first accused of rape and sexual molestation of several very young boys, Matthew defended his adoptive father and denied anything sexual ever happened to him.

This is quite common behavior for a victim –especially by a man who was sexually abused by another man.

When one of Jerry Sandusky’s victims told his story on the stand, Matthew sat in the courtroom in order to show support for Jerry. Sometime during the testimony Matthew realized that the man on the stand was virtually telling Matthew’s own story. This was when Matthew knew his own denial would no longer work for him.

Matthew then decided to come out and talk about his own sexual abuse.

Matthew says he was not driven by money, but by “a desire to stop being a coward.”

Afterwards, Matthew and his wife, and children, became the target of vicious character attacks.

“I can handle it. I can handle people attacking me. I handled the abuse. I can take it. My wife is an innocent. My children — they’re innocent. For people to attack them — yes, absolutely, the simpler answer would have been for me to keep it, to deal with it on my own.”

I am so happy he did not keep quiet. I am certain his wife feels the same. I am sure she would prefer that Matthew help other victims.

When Oprah asked Matthew if he feels Dottie Sandusky knew about the sexual abuse, Matthew expressed some doubt because he said Dottie never walked in on her husband and Matthew in any sexual acts.

Instead, Matthew says she only saw “bedtime roughhousing.”

However, Matthew said Dottie did walk in on Jerry and Matthew when Matthew would be laying on top of Jerry on the bedroom floor, wearing only underwear.

A father and teenage son in his underwear laying on top of one another on the bedroom floor did not give her pause?

She did not want to know.

In an interview with Matt Lauer, Dottie made attempts to discredit Matthew, which is a common tactic among abusers and those who protect them.

Dottie accused her adoptive son of stealing from the family as a teen, and says Matthew suffers from bipolar disorder.

“I’m not bipolar,” Matthew told Oprah. “I’m dealing with psychological issues from the abuse.”

I don’t like labels, but bipolar has been linked to child sexual abuse.

Matthew also denies the theft.

So what if he stole family items? It merely helps substantiate the sexual abuse because children who are being sexually abused are often kids who can try to get attention through stealing or set fires as a a cry for help.

Referring to his adoptive family, Matthew said:

‘They cared about me, they loved me. I owed that family everything. Everything I was, and am, I owed to them….Ninety percent of the time with Jerry Sandusky was everything that a child would want,” Matthew said. “He gave you things. You had fun. You went places that you would never go without him. But the ten percent of the time where he was doing these things…” Matthew shook his head. “It can’t even compare. That ninety percent — it gets obliterated by the damage that is done to you, that you are willing to accept in that moment. You have his time. Let him do what he’s going to do. It’s not worth me causing an issue. It’s not worth me upsetting him.”

Yes, the price a child is willing to pay. I speak from personal experience.

Referring to Matthew saying the oral sex felt good, Oprah said to him, “You know there are going to be people who say vulgar things, like “you enjoyed it, so that’s why you didn’t tell,” and “why did you keep going back to that house? Why did you stay in that family?”

Although well-intended, Oprah is a little off here. Maybe not in Matthew’s case, but untold numbers of children don’t disclose the abuse because it does feel good, they receive gifts, they are made to feel special among other children, or they crave the attention.

Many children only disclose the sexual abuse because it has ended, not to end the abuse. I should know. It’s what I did.

Oprah rightfully stated that so much of mainstream society thinks it’s all about the sex act, but the shame and the secrets are what actually cause you to turn on yourself, and often in ways that are violent or rage-filled.

Jerry Sandusky, is currently serving thirty to sixty years in prison. He has lost a recent appeal to the State Supreme Court and maintains he is innocent.

If only the abusers would learn that by admitting to what they have done, and then trying to turn it into a way to help children, or other perpetrators –oh what a beautiful thing it would be.

But sadly, most of them deny, attack, and reverse the victim/offender relationship.

The majority of perpetrators, and their wives and other family members, use name-calling, vindictive personal attacks, attempts to discredit the victim in any way they can think of, and they maliciously cut the victim off from any love-relationship or harmony between loved ones that could have existed –and they do so without a blink of an eye.

I speak from personal experience.

~Alethea

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Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Headlines, News, rape and abuse, repressed memory | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Interview With Jerry Sandusky’s Adopted Son, Matthew, is Tonight On Oprah

Set your DVRs, or tune in tonight…

Matthew Sandusky, the adopted son of convicted child rapist, Jerry Sandusky, is breaking his silence for the first time since his father’s 2012 conviction on 45 counts of child sexual abuse. He will be speaking with Oprah, Thursday, July 17 2014 at 9:p.m. EST on OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network)

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Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Headlines, News, rape and abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Jerry Sandusky’s Son, Matthew, Breaks His Silence With Oprah

Mark your calenders and set your DVRs…

“Matthew Sandusky, the adopted son of former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky, is breaking his silence for the first time since his father’s 2012 conviction on 45 counts of child sexual abuse, sitting down with Oprah to tell his story.

On Thursday, July 17, at 9 p.m. ET on OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network), Matthew shares his in-depth personal account of the grooming and manipulation he faced as a child in the Sandusky home.

“At bedtime, his ritual began,” Matthew says in the above video.

During the interview, the now-married father explains the disturbing ritual, responds to his adoptive mother’s accusations about him and discusses why he is choosing to speak out now.

Matthew had remained silent for years, even originally testifying on his adoptive father’s behalf in front of a grand jury. But just two days into Jerry Sandusky’s criminal trial, Matthew came forward and told police that he too had been sexually abused by Sandusky, adding to the testimonies of 10 other abuse victims during the trial. After being found guilty, the former assistant college football coach was sentenced to 30 to 60 years in prison.

Since Sandusky’s arrest and sentencing, dozens of men have come forward with allegations of sexual abuse, some claims dating back to the 1970s. Penn State University and a third-party law firm also found enough merit and credibility to award a financial settlement to 26 of Jerry’s victims, including Matthew.

Matthew Sandusky’s interview with Oprah airs on “Oprah Prime” on Thursday, July 17, at 9 p.m. ET on OWN.”

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huffingtonpost.com

 

Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Crime | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Man Finds His Girlfriend Sexually Abusing Little Boys

“A 30-year old Sioux Falls woman has been charged with rape, sexual contact with a child, and sexual exploitation of a minor after her boyfriend discovered her naked in their apartment Wednesday night with at least three boys between age 7 and 10.

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Sioux Falls police spokesman Sam Clemens said Anne Elizabeth Doubler’s boyfriend returned home with the couple’s 4-year-old son and caught her with the boys. The incident took place in their apartment in the 600 block of North Lewis Avenue.

“They walked in to the apartment and ended up seeing her completely naked,” Clemens said.

The boyfriend told police that Doubler admitted to having sexual contact with the boys, Clemens said. He then called police as the other boys scattered, he said.

Police later interviewed the boys, who confirmed that they had had sexual contact with Double, Clemens said.

The boys were not related to her and lived in the surrounding apartments, police said. Two of the three victims were brothers.

Police are still working to identify all potential victims and find out how long it may have been going on.

“This is something we don’t see very often,” Clemens said. “When we’re talking about multiple victims, especially at one time, that’s unusual.”

Doubler could spend the rest of her life in prison, if convicted of five counts each of first-degree rape, sexual contact with a child under 16 and sexual exploitation of a minor.

In court Thursday, Judge John Schlimgen granted the prosecution’s request to hold Doubler on a $50,000 cash-only bond.

She will be allowed to have supervised contact with her son.”

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argusleader.com

 

Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, repressed memory | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Susan Powell’s Parents Suing the State After FBI Reveals They Knew About Child Pornography

It’s about time…

“Josh Powell was investigated for the disappearance of his wife, Susan from their Utah home in 2009.

What most people didn’t know, is that the FBI was also investigating Powell on suspicion of child porn after cartoon images of incest between mothers and children were discovered on his computer.  That investigation was revealed Sunday by the Salt Lake Tribune after it studied FBI documents.

It also raised new questions about why Powell had the right to visit his children and the opportunity to harm them.

In February of 2012, after Powell had lost custody of 7-year-old Charlie and 5-year-old Braden, a state caseworker delivered the boys to Powell’s rented home for a visit.

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He killed his sons and himself in an explosion and fire.  It was yet another devastating blow to Chuck and Judy Cox who had already lost their daughter, Susan.

Now they lost the grandsons that had been in their care.  The Cox family attorney,  Anne Bremner said the family was never told about the FBI’s child porn investigation.

Bremner believes it’s just one more reason why Josh Powell should not have been allowed to be alone with his kids.

“It’s incest, it’s children with their parents.  Four hundred images that CPS knew about, and they still said, you can visit your kids.  So this would be yet another red flag for them to consider as to whether or not he should visit those kids.  I don’t know what else it would take,” Bremner said.

Bremner raised another question.

“How do all these agencies share information and how should they in the future?” she said.

Chuck and Judy Cox are now suing the state for failing to protect their grandchildren.  That lawsuit is scheduled for trial this fall.”

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kirotv.com
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Smoking Can Be Cured Effortlessly and With No Weight Gain

As my readers are aware, I have completely healed from several diseases and illnesses that medical doctors say have no cure. I have also completely rid myself of the shingles virus, migraine headaches, eating disorders, PTSD, and a long list of debilitating psychological problems. I even have my eyesight back –after having to wear reading glasses for a few years, I NO LONGER NEED THEM (except for tiny print on bottles).

One of the clients of Dr. De Saint-Simone, the person who helped me to heal me from all of this, has written testimony of how the therapy rid her of her smoking habit. She did it effortlessly and in a way that she will never crave cigarettes again, nor will she replace the smoking habit for a food fix, or some other form of psychological drive.

She also tells of her lung infection, due to smoking, disappearing with the therapy.

“I did go to the appointment because I secretly was concerned that this serious lung infection wasn’t going away. I expressed this to Ysatis [Dr. De Saint-Simone], and told her that I was being medically treated with heavy antibiotics for a lung infection so I came to see if she could help me to get rid of it and that I was a smoker who didn’t want to quit smoking, that smoking was a security blanket to me, so I really didn’t want her to feel bad as a therapist if I didn’t quit. I told her also how because I was concerned about his infection, I did briefly quit smoking a few times but was never successful quitting for more than a few days or so, and I usually wound up feeling that I really didn’t care anyway because I truly loved smoking.

Then she said, ‘I will help you only with what you want to be helped, but if by any chance we touch something connected to your smoking, it may happen that you stop smoking without even trying. I just warn you about this.’”

The non-trusting New Yorker, felt calm and trusting of Dr. De Saint Simone:

“Something about Ysatis from the very first moment she greeted me at her door gave me very positive vibes. She was so peaceful and actually bright and shiny and warm in her welcoming me. Being a New Yorker, I’m naturally defensive and not very open to people I don’t know well. After Ysatis explained the procedure involved, not only did I feel confident, I felt relaxed and trusting of her.

And indeed, what happened to me during this experience is fascinating and nothing short of miraculous!”

Testimony that this therapy can not only heal child sexual abuse trauma and the diseases child abuse can cause, but that it can also help men with impotency and heal breast cancer.

“I could tell you of so many friends that have had serious problems resolved, one especially comes to mind who was ready to kill himself because he had impotence for so long and had exhausted every type of help he sought to get cured. He’s a very happy dad today! I vividly recall sharing with Barbara B., a friend of mine and also a patient of Ysatis, the joy we both felt in regaining our health as she was only 19 when she came to Ysatis because she had a cancerous tumor in her breast and being so young she didn’t want her breast removed. She didn’t have to go through surgery because in working with Ysatis in this miraculous therapy, the tumor was completely dissolved from her breast.”

Please visit the Blog of Dr. De Saint-Simone’s client, and read her full testimony about quitting smoking, and the affects of the therapy on her life:

Quit Smoking No Effort

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