Many people find it difficult to place responsibility on a mother, who does not protect her child from being sexually abused by her husband or boyfriend, but contrary to what we would like to believe, most women know about ongoing abuse taking place in the home, or they have a gut instinct and ignore it. People who accommodate child molesters and child rapists with their silence give consent to the crime, and women who do this are guilty of treason.
- Studies show that at least forty-four percent of mothers protect the abuser, not the child.
- Most survivors of child sexual abuse are angrier at the mother who did nothing to stop the abuse, than they are at the perpetrator.
- Most women who guard the abuser do so out of self-convenience and material needs, not because they are “victims too.”
- A mother’s chosen ignorance severely affects incest victims physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
There are some mothers who truly have no idea that their child is being sexually abused by someone in the family and some mothers will fight to their death or imprisonment to protect their child but sadly, this is the exception, not the norm. When a woman has no knowledge that her child is being harmed, it is usually because the abuse is infrequent, lasts for a brief period of time, or involves a minimal amount of molestation.
We all have an instinct which alerts us to things that are ‘just not right,’ or warn us about events that are dangerous or about something that could lead to a bad situation. If a woman doesn’t want to see what is apparent, then she won’t. This is chosen ignorance.
Some victims and survivors are afraid to fully experience and admit to their honest feelings about their mother’s facilitation of the incest, but a mother’s lack of protection can be as damaging, if not more so, than the sexual abuse itself. It was easier for me to accept and come to terms with the fact that my father sexually molested and raped me, than to acknowledge that my mother did nothing to protect me. Women who refuse to take responsibility for the protection of their children engender life-long suffering and damage to the child.
Too often, prosecutors do not implement the laws that are designed to hold a person criminally responsible for knowingly protecting a child abuser. If women clearly understood that they will be held criminally liable if they do not report incest going on in the home then countless children will no longer suffer. One of the main reasons that child sexual abuse continues, is the silence by those who knew about the abuse or suspected it.
In some states, it is considered a class three felony when a mother does nothing to stop the incest in her home. Some people might have a problem charging a woman with a class three felony for child endangerment when she did not abuse the child herself, but it is a felony to the mind, body, and soul of a child when their own mother continues to allow them to be assaulted in order to protect her husband, boyfriend, father, or son. Mothers who refuse to call authorities on the perpetrator are guilty of reckless indifference and complying with a crime.