“The thing is, who among us haven’t done something that we’re highly ashamed of in our lives?” she said to Winfrey. “Who are we to cast the first stone? In my faith, as a Christian, God told me I need to forgive. Am I happy that she put me in this position? No, I’m not. But I have to forgive. It’s 13 years later, and I still haven’t digested this information.” Chynna added that she hopes her sister will take her experiences and use them to help others, offering one piece of advice: “Get the Lord on board, because you’ll need it.”
I saw Chynna Phillips make this statement on Oprah. In my view of her, she had a self-righteous attitude over her sister Mackenzie. Chynna says she believes Mackenzie’s accusations of rape and incest by their father, yet she says, ‘who hasn’t done something they are ashamed of?’ What does Mackenzie have to be ashamed of? She did nothing wrong. She was raped and then coerced into a sexual relationship with her own father and now she wants to speak about it and try to help others. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Chynna spoke of forgiving her sister. Forgive her for what?! For being a victim of a crime and wanting to talk about it? Chynna says, “In my faith, as a Christian, God told me I need to forgive. Am I happy that she put me in this position? No, I’m not. But I have to forgive.” Why is it that Christians always have to go around telling everyone they are a Christian? Walk your faith, don’t talk it.
Then Chynna adds that she wants Mackenzie to help others with her experience, yet Chynna has to get one more jab in there. Apparantly Mackenzie does not share the same religious faith as Chynna, so Chynna says to her sister at the end of the conversation, “Get the Lord on board, because you’ll need it.”
Frankly, in my opinion, the one who needs it is Chynna, not Mackenzie. I think Mackenzie is more together than Chynna. I don’t know where Christians get the idea that forgiveness is synonymous with keeping the family secrets. When victims of rape, molestation and incest do not speak out about what happened to them, the secret remains hidden forever and provides a blanket of protection over all child sexual abusers.
Jesus never went around telling people that they need to hide crimes and keep family secrets. On the contrary, He spoke openly, condemning hypocrites and said that those who harm children will suffer great torment.
Every victim of child sexual abuse, rape, and trauma need to be able to express themselves openly, without being ostracized and cut off or called a liar. Yes, forgiveness is essential for those who proclaim to be a Christian, but the true meaning of forgiveness should be clarified. It does not mean remaining silent about being abused or allowing others to step on us. Absolution does not mean that a person must uphold or adapt to lies within the family unit (Like the lie that no rape or abuse took place). Forgiveness doesn’t mean catering to the denial system of those who hurt us, or to the family members who wish the topic of incest would just go away. It also doesn’t mean becoming a people-pleaser, being superficial, or allowing someone to further abuse.