“On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it,” writes Phillips, who was 19 and a heavy drug user at the time. “I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad’s bed.”
“My father was not a man with boundaries. He was full of love, and he was sick with drugs. I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father.”
“Had this happened before? I didn’t know. All I can say is it was the first time I was aware of it.” Phillips’ life began to spiral out of control. In 1980, she was fired from One Day at a Time because of her constant drug use. That same year, she went to rehab – with her father. Her sexual relationship with him had become consensual.
Even though Mackenzie’s father raped her at first, she says she eventually began to have consensual sex with him. When a daughter is a victim of her father’s betrayal and his abuse of power, she can never truly give her consent to having sex with him. She might feel that she is complying willingly, but she is always a victim of the rapist –no matter what he has done to her emotionally and physically to make her want to be with him sexually.
Mackenzie’s comments also project the possibility that she had been sexually abused or raped by her father prior to the what she thinks was the first time. She said it herself, “Had this happened before? I didn’t know. All I can say is it was the first time I was aware of it.”
The fact that Mackenzie made this comment at all is indicative of the possibility that she had been raped by her father before, and blocked it out.