In response to my post about Mackenzie Phillips, I received a comment at my Blog this morning. I happily went to read what the person had written, thinking that it was going to be a positive comment, or at least a comment that was written with thought. So I open the comment to find the message, “Maybe you need to see Mackenzie Phillips nude.”
Now to someone who has not been sexually violated by anyone, this comment might appear harmless, or something to not get so uptight about. Someone who has not been sexually abused might just shrug it off as something coming from an idiot, or maybe from a distributor of pornography. But for a person who has been sexually abused as a child, a comment like this can bring up anger, and to a female survivor of sexual assault by an adult female, this kind of comment can drive the survivor into rage or even physical symptoms.
When I received this ignorant comment, my blood began to boil and my mood quickly changed from content to disharmony, and then to rage. I immediately wanted to send an email to this person saying, “Fuck you!” Then I realized that they would probably say, “Sure, when?” I then became aware that anything I had of value to say would fall on deaf ears. So I took a deep breath, and surprisingly, a positive outcome developed from this degenerate person’s comment. I have decided to come clean about my childhood. As difficult as it is to write this in a public forum… I was sexually abused by a female family member. There, I said it.
I have long wanted to reveal this on my Blogsite but never had the strength to do it because of guilt, shame, and the ever pervading fear. I should thank the idiot who sent me that message because they drove me into enough anger to get real with myself and with my readers. So here it is again –I was not only sexually abused by my police officer father, I was also sexually abused as a child by a female family member.
At this point of my life I don’t feel that it will serve any purpose to say which family member but I do feel that sharing my experience with my readers might help someone else who has been sexually abused as a child by an adult of the same-sex, because let me tell you, there is very little in this world that is more degrading, more humiliating, more disgusting, more devastating, and more anger-inducing, than being sexually violated by a family member of the same sex. It is a betrayal beyond words. It has affected my life in so many negative ways that I don’t even know where to begin. So for today, I will take a break and tomorrow I will post more about my experience and how sexual abuse perpetrated by an adult of the same-sex is one of the most damaging things that can be done to a child.