Daniel Kovarbasich and Aaron Vargas: Same-Sex Child Sexual Abuse Creates a Psychologically Complex Situation. Part Three in a Series

Daniel Kovarbasich has been convicted of voluntary manslaughter. Righteously, Judge Berge said that, although the abuse did not excuse his crime, it did offer an explanation for why he did it and that what he did was understandable. Daniel will find out his fate when he is sentenced on August 12th of this year. He faces up to ten years in prison.

Thirty two year-old Aaron Vargas knows what Daniel went through. Vargas, a father and part-time construction worker, killed his alleged perpetrator in 2009. Aaron was much younger than Daniel when the alleged sexual abuse began, but like Duane Hurley, Aaron’s alleged abuser, Darrell McNeill, was also known as a “nice guy.” He had volunteered for the Boy Scouts of America, and was even married.

Aaron shot and killed McNeill in the entryway of McNeill’s home, in Fort Bragg, California. Vargas had lived next door to the McNeills as a boy and was Darrell’s son’s good friend. Darrell’s wife, Liz McNeill, found Aaron standing over the body of her husband with a gun in his hands. It was then that Aaron told her a secret that he had kept to himself until that moment.  Aaron told her that Darrell had been sexually molesting him since he was eleven years-old.

Robin Vargas, Aaron’s mother, says that her son went to her home shortly after the killing and told her that he was sorry and needed to say goodbye to her because he had just shot Darrell. Then he told her why he did it, and told her that he had felt trapped in a prison of psychological and sexual abuse.

According to Aaron, the sexual abuse took place on fishing trips and when Aaron was with Darrell’s son, Michael. Aaron said that as he grew older, Darrell bribed him with drugs and alcohol. Darrell also employed Vargas at his business and had Aaron doing odd jobs for him to keep Aaron near him.  Aaron also says that he was not the only child being sexually abused by Darrell McNeill.

Although Aaron’s father, Bob Vargas, didn’t understand the timing of the shooting. For the victim of sexual abuse, the timing was perfect. When the shooting occurred, Aaron was soon to be married and his fiance’ had just given birth to a baby girl. But f. Just prior to killing McNeill, Aaron says his alleged abuser was calling him thirty times a day, stalking him, and said he wanted to babysit for Aaron’s infant girl. In Aaron’s mind, his top priority was to protect his little girl and to stop a threat. To Aaron, stalking and thirty phone calls a day, was just like being sexually abused all over again. In my opinion, McNeill crossing boundaries with phone calls and harassment, and by mentioning Aaron’s child, caused Aaron’s subconscious mind to feel as if he was being sexually assaulted again and again. The subconscious mind does not differentiate between stalking and massive phone calls, and sexual abuse. The subconscious only knows that it is being abused and threatened. This must have put Aaron’s mind right back into feeling raped and trapped.

Tom Hudson, Aaron’s defense attorney says that McNeill “was very manipulative, he was very apparently kind” and that he “used his business and his ability to employ these young boys for cash under the table as a manipulating tool. He used his home as a place for these kids to come to and get away from mom and dad who, so that they could do things that their mom and dad and society would never allow, you know, take drugs, drink alcohol, party, those kinds of things, and do sexual favors.”

Aaron’s family feels that Aaron went to his alleged abuser’s home that night to kill him because of all the repressed rage and to stop McNeil from allegedly sexually abusing other boys. According to the website set up by Aaron’s sister: Darrell McNeill’s former wife and other victims had -at a time prior to the shooting- reported child sex crimes being allegedly committed by McNeill but they say authorities did not investigate. The website says that one of McNeill’s alleged victims committed suicide over four years ago because of McNeill.

Vargas was indicted for the crime and plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter in March. He has been sentenced to nine years in prison.

Aaron’s sister was interviewed on True Tv about the Daniel Kovarbasich case. She said that her brother killed his (alleged) perpetrator for sexually abusing him, yet Aaron is the one who is made out to be the criminal when all he did was stop a heinous sexual crime from continuing. Part of me does not condone what Aaron and Daniel did, but part of me says “Three cheers!” to Aaron’s sister’s comment.

People who say that Daniel and Aaron should have just walked away, are speaking from ignorance. They are placing judgments on a psychologically complex situation. On-going sexual abuse on a child, perpetrated by an adult of the same-sex causes psycho-dynamics in the victim that are beyond the understanding of anyone who has not experienced it. Same-sex child sexual abuse, inflicts a rage and a need to stop it that does not equate with the rational thinking of those who have not been, or are not being sexually abused in this way.

I had originally planned to ask people to write the judge in Daniel’s case to ask him to be lenient in the boy’s sentencing. But after I hear the judge say that he feels Daniel’s actions were understandable, I have faith that the judge will be fair in his sentencing. Judge Burge seems to understand that Daniel was manipulated and victimized by Hurley and that Daniel’s brain was not yet physiologically developed at the time of the abuse, the crime, and even now, and won’t be fully developed until Daniel is in his twenties. I feel that, by that time, Daniel will probably begin to feel remorse.

“The predators most powerful weapon is the silencing of his victims.”~ SaveAaron.com

To read Part One in this series: Click Here

To read Part Two: Click Here

Please visit: Saveaaron.com

Source: ABC News 20/20

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15 Responses to Daniel Kovarbasich and Aaron Vargas: Same-Sex Child Sexual Abuse Creates a Psychologically Complex Situation. Part Three in a Series

  1. Tom says:

    I know this is an old thread,

    The garbage coming from some people is amazing. The grooming process is a form of brainwashing. A child cannot consent to sex. The money, the gifts, are all tools to buy the kids cooperation and silence.

    It is still molestation, rape, and abuse.

    As a 15 year old, I got assaulted during school hours, on school grounds, by a girl who had the help of two other boys. Part of me died that day. I blocked out details of the attack for decades.

    • Alethea says:

      Thank you Tom. I am so happy when someone sees the truth about what happened to Daniel.

      I am sorry for what happened to you.

  2. postman27 says:

    If you are going to report on this case, then you should report factually and objectively. Do you know that Judge Burge shut down the trial and REFUSED TO PERMIT THE PROSECUTION TO PUT ON ONE SINGLE REBUTTAL WITNESS, NOT ONE? Did you know there were about 20 people that could testify Daniel lied about the sports cars -it was impossible, they had been in storage for years? Did you know there were numerous MATERIAL things in Daniel’s testimony that there were witnesses lined up to clearly refute his allegations? Report on that. If someone is going to accuse someone of molestation in this country and the only evidence is the word of someone who hacked a guy up while he was sleeping, then a prosecutor should be able to present evidence to refute it and since it wasn’t permitted by the kangaroo court that presided over this case, then I can’t believe a kid who had a history of criminal activity, was found huffing just weeks before he murdered Hurley and even now there are MANY PEOPLE in the community that are fearful for their own safety when he gets out. Go find out this killer’s history and report on that.

    • Alethea says:

      Then why do you think Daniel killed Hurley and stabbed him fifty-five times? Why did the prosecution say there was sex?

      Please feel free to correct me on any errors in my articles. I will amend them.

  3. Mariah Warner says:

    [11:50] Marissa Wickham: After reading all of this… I can say I totally disagree with everything. This whole article is making Dan out to be the Hero. NOTHING JUSTIFIES TAKING A LIFE. Abuse or no abuse… Nothing. I was in Dan’s grade… And was in a few of his classes. And to be Frank, he was the biggest asshole I have ever met in my life. He was a sexual person, too. Since middle school, I could always remember him making sexual jokes. He knew damn well what he was doing if in middle school, he knew sexual jokes. He was only 12/13 at that time; and knew a lot. I should have defiantly called this, I mean… Him killing someone, defiantly. Also, he dates sluts and does drugs. Started smoking in AT LEAST 7th grade. Try going to school with him, day after day. You’ll see his TRUE personality show through when hes just with friends, and no teachers are around. You’d see hes not this hero your making him out to be. Hes the complete opposite. He deserves everything hes getting. -.-

    • Alethea says:

      Dear Mariah,

      My intent was not make Daniel out to be a “hero,” but now that you bring it up, he might be a hero in the sense of Hurley not being able to groom any more children into being a sex toy.

      But Daniel is not a hero in the true sense of the word. He was a kid whose rage took over, and was tired of having gay sex with a child abuser.

      Did you ever think that he was “the biggest asshole” you ever knew because of the rapes??? Hello? Is anyone home? What the hell do you think kids turn ugly and mean for? Why do you think they abuse others and get nasty, if not the very thing that is happening to them behind closed doors?

      So what if he told a lot of sexual jokes?! Most teenage boys do, and especially those who are engaged in an on-going sexually abusive ‘relationship’ with an adult man!

      So what if he dates what you consider “sluts?” Be careful not to label people too much, you never know why a girl is promiscuous. I was highly promiscuous, and some people might have considered me a “slut” but it was because I was sexually abused by my father as a child and it was the only way I knew how to gain affection and “love.”

      You don’t know anything about child sexual abuse victims, and the real world.

  4. Ian says:

    I was sexually abused by a male babysitter from the ages of 3 to 9 years old, and I have kept it a secret till a few months ago. Depression, anger, and lack of confeidence has taken a toll on my life on every aspect one can imagine. I am now 38 years old, and there isnt a day I can remember when I wish I would just end my life and thus end the suffering. I also wish I would find my abuser and take matters into my own hands. Although I can not see me going that far, I can totally understand why Aaron and Daniel did what they had to do. I just hope they get the help they need. Its too bad the justice system let these perverts slip through with no opportunities for retribution.

    Currently, I am trying to get help, however, I am not sure how well it is going right now. All I can hope for at this moment, is that my abuser has not victimized any one else….

    • aletheamarinanova says:

      Ian,

      I am SO sorry for what you have endured. Have you ever thought of seeking your perpetrator out to have him held legally accountable? That might help you feel better emotionally and mentally.

      If you ever want REAL help. My therapist can free you from your pain. She does the therapy over the telephone and has clients around the world so it does not matter where you live.

      You can contact me if you have any interest:

      https://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/how-to-liberate-yourself/

  5. seidos says:

    This is a sad story. Though I was sexually abused when I was young, it only happened twice. The continuing abuse that these victims had to go through is sickening. I can’t say I would have done anything any differently if I had been him.

  6. Laredo Stetson says:

    Daniel Kovarbasich, at age 15, was NOT a child during the time of his romantic relationship with Mr. Hurley. In this day and age, NO 15-year old male is confused about his sexual orientation, although many adolescents attempt to conceal or deny their homosexuality because of fear of oppression from peers or family. Tell me, what heterosexual teenage male will consent–even ONE time–to having sex with another man??!!

    When Mr. Kovarbasich slaughtered Mr. Hurley in COLD BLOOD, he was attempting to destroy his own ingrained homosexuality that, for whatever reasons, he just cannot accept. Again, Mr. Kovarbasich, an apparently already troubled young man, went WILLINGLY, ASSERTIVELY and REPEATEDLY in pursuit (with his family’s blessing) of a sexual relationship with a MAN. Kovarbasich was not kidnapped, restrained, held against his will, tied up with a rope, forcibly raped or had a gun put to his head. He consented, legally or not!

    Shame on you Judge Burge, this decision will come back to haunt all parties involved.

    My sympathies to the Hurley family. God bless you.

    • aletheamarinanova says:

      Laredo,

      “Tell me, what heterosexual teenage male will consent–even ONE time–to having sex with another man??!!”

      Well, let’s see, the victims of Boy Scout leader Jack Walls “consented” to him –even though they were heterosexual teenagers. Frank Fitzpatrick “consented” to Father James Porter. Ross Cheit “consented” to his camp counselor Bill Farmer, and hundreds of thousands of young heterosexual teenage boys “consented” to sex acts with their perpetrators in the priesthood, in the synagogues, and in the homes of Protestant ministers.

      What you call “consent” is rape –coerced sex acts with a young teen victim who was groomed into being a victim but didn’t know it until he was actually a victim. These young boys don’t “consent,” they are psychologically raped and abused and deceived by adult homosexual males. Their body might consent, but their mind knows that they are not gay and the conflict can kill their soul.

      “When Mr. Kovarbasich slaughtered Mr. Hurley in COLD BLOOD, he was attempting to destroy his own ingrained homosexuality that, for whatever reasons, he just cannot accept.”

      You are wrong. He was destroying the idea that he was homosexual. He was destroying the part of himself that would no longer accept the lie –the lie that he was gay.

      How do I know so much about it? Because it happened to me. A female family member sexually abused me when I was a child and I know DAMN well what Daniel went through and what he struggled with in his mind.

  7. DANIEL NEEDS HELP ,,BECAUSE I AM A FEMALE AND I WAS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF WHEN I WAS 12 YRS. OLD AND IT WAS A FAMIILY MEMBER,, I STILL HAVE A MENTAL PROBLEM BECAUSE I NEVER TOLD ANYONE EXCEPT FOR MY OLDER SISTER,,,I GET DISABILITY BECAUSE IM DIAGNOSE WITH A MENTAL PROBLEM,,NO MATTER HOW I TRY TO GO ON WITH MY LIFE IT’S THIS PROBLEM THAT SEEMS TO BE BLOCKING ME..AND WHEN I WONT TO TELL THE STORY I GET SCARED TO TELL IT ,, SO I WAS 12 ,,,NOW IM 54 ,,SO U C,, WHERE THE PROBLEM IS ,,NO COUNCILING,,BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID WHAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK OF ME,,THIS KID TELL HIS STORY NATIONA WIDE,, HE HAS COURAGE!! PLEASE GET THIS KID HELP PRISON IS NOT THE ANSWER???? THIS IS MY OPINION,,IF U NEVER EXPERIENCE IT U WILL NEVER KNOW HOW IT FELL

    • aletheamarinanova says:

      Thank you for posting this Ruby. You are right in so many ways. Children and teens, who are being sexually violated by an adult, always fear what others will think of them if they tell –especially if the perpetrator is of the same sex. The victim fears they won’t be believed, and that they will be labeled as a homosexual. This is very damaging to a male teenager who naturally likes girls.

      And you are SO right when you say that if you haven’t experienced sexual abuse then you will NEVER know how it feels.

      Alethea

  8. talkingbook says:

    I did not remember almost all of what happened to me as a child until I was almost 50 years old. Even though Aaron ‘remembered’ what happened to him, this type of abuse can cause personality dissociation. And the part of his personality that should have been “mediating” and getting therapy could have been actually not functioning, or functioning without knowledge of the abuse. Or without knowledge of some of the abuse.

    He could not have been in a calm reasonable state of mind and able to think straight as his childhood abuser kept stalking him. Which is probably the point of a certain amount of harrassment.

    • aletheamarinanova says:

      Good points Talking book. I did not remember what happened to me as a child until I was in my thirties.

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