It’s Not Suffering From Child Sexual Abuse That Causes Suffering, It’s from the Idea That You Have Suffered!

I  have received a lovely comment from an individual who was so proud of what they had to say to me, that they did not reveal their true identity.  The only indication that I have of this person is the name “Michelle” that appears on their WordPress account. The comment was in response to my post on the Professor who has been accused of incest with his daughter.

Instead of posting the comment in the comments section, I want to share it with you here. “Michelle’s” comments are in the boxes in italics:

You are filled with hate and bitterness.  Survivors of sexual abuse suffer primarily the same way the survivor of a voodoo curse suffer. When a witch doctor places a curse on someone who believes in voodoo that they will lose use of their arm, they actually lose use of their arm.

Ah! We have another person who thinks that, those who have been sexually abused as children, can just magically wish away all of their mental, physical and emotional suffering.  “Michelle” has no idea of the power of the subconscious mind. “Michelle” has not read my story so he or she obviously doesn’t know about the year I visited some of the best medical doctors in the country and ran up over $30, 000 worth of medical bills trying to find out why my body was so sick.

If you, “Michelle” can tell people, who suffer from serious disease, how they can magically heal themselves with one thought, then you might want to call the AMA or CNN, as I am certain that human beings would pay top dollar to know how to make illness and disease vanish with the simple idea that years of trauma, abandonment, lack of love and protection, rape, shame, guilt, fear, and terror is simply forgettable, and that their disease and illness is because of the idea that they suffered, not that they actually suffered.

I have treated hundreds of survivors of sexual abuse, incest and rape. Those who keep telling themselves suffered a great debilitating loss never heal.

First off, I had never ‘told myself’ that I suffered a great debilitating loss. On the contrary, I tried to live my life by dissociating from all the trauma and abuse that happened to me. I blocked it all for three decades and tried to be ‘normal’ but my subconscious mind would not let go of all that I endured, and my subconscious gave me a physical disease in the form of incapacitating symptoms. It was only by remembering what I went through as a child, transforming that trauma and pain, and dealing with the subconscious mind that I was able to rid my body of the disease and the mental pain. It took me a number of years, but in those years, I never told myself that I suffered a great debilitating loss. I knew inside that, because of the physical symptoms and my psychological issues, something was not right with me. It took intensive psychotherapy to remember why my body and mind were so ill. Once I made the connection, I began to heal and I am now almost completely healed.

Secondly, I am appalled that you “treat” people who have suffered from child sexual abuse and rape. I feel VERY sorry for anyone you have ever gotten your hands on in therapy, and that you have a degree of any kind, is also very disturbing.

Some children do suffer a great deal. They experience DID (formerly MPD) but this occurs in less than 5% of abuse survivors.

And you should know that those who suffer from DID often block out years, or even decades, of their ordeal. I never had DID, but I did block out my entire childhood until I sought help. You should also know that those who block out all of their traumatic experiences, suffer greatly from their subconscious mind.

A 24 year old adult female should have the right to have sex with whomever she pleases. The chances of genetic defects resulting from such a union are miniscule.

Minuscule?  Show me the statistics, because Patrick Stuebing, who had an incestuous relationship with his biological sister, produced four children with her. Three had physical or mental disabilities. The older two suffer from “severe physical and mental disabilities.”

You are right, a 24 year-old can indeed have sex with whomever she wants –as long as it is not a child or an animal. I personally do not feel that this case ought to be prosecuted.  The debate here is whether this man groomed his daughter from childhood, crossed moral or spiritual boundaries, or whether he put future children at risk by having sex with his daughter.

Your inability to see any difference between sex between consenting adults, and sex between an adult and a minor makes me think that you are an over-compensating, over-reacting  pedophile.

Gee, you sound like you really ought to be in charge of “treating” people who have serious problems. If you can’t even carry on an intelligent discussion without calling me a pedophile, then you might want to take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your comment makes ZERO sense, so maybe it is YOU who are the pedophile?

Why do you think you have the right to dictate to an adult 24 year old female who she has the right to have sex with? You are telling another adult they are a victim?

I have a right to speak my mind. You are calling me judgmental, but you are placing a judgment on me for having an opinion that is contrary to yours. And I never called her a victim. I was speaking hypothetically. We don’t know the facts of this case. If her father only met her as an adult, and if their sexual relationship was fully consensual, then she is not a victim at all. However, it doesn’t mean that the relationship is a healthy one or that it was based in rational decisions. I have every right to speak my mind. People like you, who tell those that don’t agree with you: Don’t “judge.” –are in fact, judging others for their beliefs.

I bet you also have a problem with kinky females or any female who enjoys sex.

As long as they don’t abuse a child or an animal, I don’t give two hoots what they do. Your remarks are beginning to sound like you are a degenerate trying to get under my skin. It’s not working, but I am starting to see through you.

There is no victim here.  This female and her partner are victims of prudish, Puritanical, Victorian, right-wing, anal retentive conservatives who walk around all day as if they had a broom stick inserted where the sun doesn’t shine.

You could be right, but until I learn the facts of the case, I don’t know.

You are the American version of the Taliban, the sex police.  You are a voyuer looking in the bedrooms and under the sheets of adults to see what sex practices they are engaging in, and ensuring they meet your standards.

Pretty judgmental view of someone you don’t know, know nothing about, and whom you have accused of being judgmental.  You might want to do some inner reflection.

You are ready to imprison anyone who engages in anal sex, who bites their partner during sex, or likes there hair pulled, or likes to scratch and claw their partner.

As I said, I don’t think this is a criminal case, and for the record, your judgment of my beliefs is incorrect. I don’t think that the above sexual preferences should be crimes.  I don’t care what people do in their bedrooms if it doesn’t involve children or animals. It’s none of my business, nor the business of the government if someone wants to have sex with an adult of the same-sex. But I do care if it is put forth as natural, and I care a great deal if it is put forth as ‘natural’ to children. I don’t like it when people try and push homosexuality on kids as something “normal and natural.” In addition, if I want to use my God-given and United States Constitutional right to speak my mind about how I feel about homosexuality, I will do it, and without guilt from you or anyone else.

Most likely you were molested and you have a very negative view toward sex and sexual practices.

Most likely?  Gee, had you read a few articles on my Blog, or “My Story” before you chose to send your ignorant, preconceived, foolish statements to me, then you would know that I was more than “molested” as a child.

I am sorry, if your mommy sexually abused you when you there two, but leave the rest of us alone.

I never stated any such thing on this Blog, and you aren’t sorry for a damn thing. You sound like a person who has serious issues, and the fact that you can virtually joke about someone being sexually abused by their mother when they were a toddler, shows me that you are either a mental defective, or that you might have some pretty degenerate views about sex with kids.

For further reading on how abuse survivors cannot simply “let it go” and stop suffering at the drop of a hat, you can check out these posts from my Blog:

Former Miss America, Marilyn Van Derbur, Paralyzed by Incest: Part Two in a Series

Peeling Away the Layers of Trauma, Shame and Sex With Children: Part Three in a Series

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8 Responses to It’s Not Suffering From Child Sexual Abuse That Causes Suffering, It’s from the Idea That You Have Suffered!

  1. Michelle says:

    You wrote:
    “If you, ‘Michelle’ can tell people, who suffer from serious disease, how they can magically heal themselves with one thought”

    You know I never said any such thing. When people can’t really dispute what another person actually said, they twist their words, exaggerate their position, and attribute to them things silly things to get others mock them for a postion they do not advocate and never espoused.

    Two, you can’t extrapolate from yourself to all females

    Here is a good example to comtemplate: Tell a female who was never raped, that she was raped in her sleep, and she will suffer just like she was raped. Don’t tell a female who was really raped in her sleep that she was raped and she will not suffer any harmful effects. This proves that it is not really the act of rape that is harmful, but the mere belief that it occured. Negative thoughts are harmful and not easy to overcome.

    • Alethea says:

      “When people can’t really dispute what another person actually said, they twist their words, exaggerate their position, and attribute to them things silly things to get others mock them for a postion they do not advocate and never espoused.”

      When a person has said nothing of importance, and has no position –because they don’t know what the hell they are talking about….then they call someone a pedophile and joke about someone having been sexually abused by their mother.

      “Tell a female who was never raped, that she was raped in her sleep, and she will suffer just like she was raped. Don’t tell a female who was really raped in her sleep that she was raped and she will not suffer any harmful effects. This proves that it is not really the act of rape that is harmful, but the mere belief that it occured. Negative thoughts are harmful and not easy to overcome.”

      You have NO IDEA of the subconscious mind and trauma. You are uninformed, uneducated and ridiculous.

      Feel free to never post here again.

  2. Anne says:

    This is pure provocation, Alethea, I’m not sure you should have replied at all. Sometimes the bin is the best.
    The “consent” topic is very interesting to debate. Things are never as simple as they seem to be or as they’re told to be.

    • Alethea says:

      Hi Anne. I had originally tossed it into the spam file, but when this person also emailed me with the same comments, I knew that they REALLY wanted me to hear their opinion of me. I thought that maybe I needed to use their comments to expose their ignorance and to educate others who share their view.

      In the time that I have had this Blog, I have encountered more than one person who thinks that adult survivors of child sexual abuse suffer because of their inability to ‘let it go’ or because they tell themselves that there is something wrong with them.

  3. Andre' says:

    Oh my God, what an IDIOT ! Not only is this “Michelle” crazy “she” does it in a professional capacity. If any of what she says about her “career” is true. Unbelievable that people like this walk the planet.

    • Alethea says:

      Hi Andre’

      If this “Michelle” truly ‘treats’ victims and survivors of child sexual abuse, she or he is causing many people great harm.

      • one survivour says:

        WOW and i thought i had emotional problems and guilt issues with my own past this guy is nuts .. to be raped in your sleep doesnt change tht you have been raped just spared you the visiual experiance rather then the whole experiance …now they have the who was it add to the oh my god and what did i do .. shame of who knows who saw it and why wasnt i helped or why did it happen in the first place . never mind trusting for the next twenty or so years its sad enough people take advantage of others to feel anything at all. the comment makes me wanna puke . i fear for the people that have been treated by this person and hope they an find the strength to find another therapist and hope they arent to brainwashed to actually heal. as a survivour and a person that is moving forward with what has happend to them i can only hope that his/her anaolgy is hypothetical rather then one they have used in practice ..

        • Alethea says:

          Great comment.

          I Think this person is probably an abuser, and not a therapist. But if they are, then God help anyone who happens to be a client.

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