Sorry everyone. I had no Internet service for 5 days. Up and running again…
This story blows my mind. Well, not really. Why would I be shocked anymore at anything humans do?
In 2009, 41 year-old car salesman, Steven Demink, targeted “vulnerable” single moms, “manipulated them,” “persuaded” them, and “intimidated” them over the Internet.
What did Demink talk them into? —sexually abusing their own children. Yes, the “vulnerable” mothers were “manipulated” by a stranger on the internet, whom they never met, to sexually abuse their kids, both boys and girls, ages 3-15.
Through online dating websites, web chats and emails, Demink claimed to be a psychologist, promising the mothers that his form of “sex therapy” would help the women with their troubled children.
Demink suggested that the mothers become naked with their children and perform sex acts with them. One mother, who met Demink at singleparentmeet.com, says she performed oral sex on her boy because Demink told her to.
In another case, Demink was chatting online with an Oregon mother about her 8 year-old autistic son’s development. Demink told the woman to engage in, what was termed by authorities as, “sexually explicit conduct” with her son in order to teach him about sex. The mother not only complied with the stranger, she did it LIVE while Demink watched on a Web cam.
In other cases, Demink got the mothers to take pictures as they molested their children, and then send the photos to him in the U.S. mail.
For almost one year, Demink told women to sexually abuse their children, and for one year, many did. He was finally caught in December of 2009, after the grandmother of one of the victims reported to authorities about the conversations her daughter was having with Demink.
“I don’t know how he wrangled her in,” said the mother of the child sexual abuser. She said her daughter was “depressed and lonesome” after her divorce, and concluded, “He must have had a power over her.”
In May, her daughter pleaded guilty to lewd conduct with a child under the age of sixteen. She is currently in prison.
Demink helped convince the women to sexually abuse their children by replacing photos of himself with head shots of male models. In some cases, he promised to date the women.
This shows that, in part, the women were looking to please a good-looking guy, and maybe even got off on it. That he promised to date some of the women shows that those women wanted a man in their life, and would do anything to get him. The grandmother, who turned her daughter in, said her daughter had been depressed and lonesome. If you are depressed and lonesome from a divorce, you go out and do volunteer work, take up golf, or put all your energy into loving your children and giving them the best life possible. You don’t sexually abuse them!
This woman’s daughter was thinking of her self, her selfish needs, and not about the safety and well-being of her child. She sexually abused her child in order to get a man. Demink had no “power” over her. That mother had the power to read the words on her computer and call authorities. Instead, she chose to read about the sexual abuse of children and do it to her child. She had the power, not him.
Any woman who performs oral sex and other sex acts on her child, merely because a strange person on the web tells her to, already had a seed in her mind about being sexually attracted to her child, or to stimulate her child sexually. These women were already sexually twisted in some way. They were not manipulated, intimidated, convinced or persuaded, and they certainly were not “vulnerable.” They were willing to sacrifice their children in order to get a man’s attention and approval.
I hope no one comments that these women were victims, because to me, that mentality maintains child sexual abuse. If a man had been talked into giving oral sex to his son or daughter by some stranger on the Internet, would anyone call him a victim? No. Women do not get a free pass because of their gender!
The other disturbing thing about this story is that Demink was not caught because he was turned in by any of the women he approached online. He did this for a year. In that year, certainly there would have been some women who were disgusted by his suggestions. There must have been someone out there who saw that Demink was perverted and dangerous, and was repulsed enough to turn him in. But not one woman took action to have him arrested. Or, is it that every single woman he approached with his requests of child abuse willingly complied? That scenario is even scarier.
Demink has pleaded guilty to six charges related to the sexual exploitation of children. He faces 15 years to life in jail. Seven other charges were dropped as part of his plea deal, but Demink pleaded guilty to multiple charges of sexually exploiting children, and to child pornography. He will be sentenced June 9, 2011.
Several of the mothers were arrested, and at least one is in prison. All of the children were placed in protective custody. These women ought to serve the same prison sentence as Demink. After-all, it was not Demink who sexually abused the children, it was their own mothers.