Sexual Abuse Does Not Make a Person Into a Cold-Hearted, Pathological, Narcissistic Liar

My readers might wonder why I am so angry about this verdict, and why I have become so personally involved in the Casey Anthony case.

It’s because my father was a police officer and he sexually abused me from ages 3 to at least 9. My father first put his penis in my mouth at age three. My father continued to orally rape me during most of my childhood, and vaginally raped me at age seven. I was threatened with death (with a knife) if I told of the sexual abuse, and my mother knew and did nothing. I was also locked in closets and physically assaulted.

I know trauma. I know first-hand about dissociation and being victimized and going into psychological states of numbness, denial and repression. I know all about families filled with denial and who cover up sexual abuse and lies.

I also know that mothers are very capable of behaving one way with their child when other people are around, and then behaving like evil monsters when no one is around. I know about cold mothers who never really wanted children and who would have preferred freedom. I had one of those mothers.

I know about cameras and video that only capture the smiles, birthdays, and happy moments. No one had a camera ready when my father had his penis down my throat, or when my mother hit me for trying to tell about the sexual abuse.

I don’t like people who lie about child sexual abuse. I don’t like people thinking that child sexual abuse causes a person to become a cold-hearted, ego-driven, pathological liar. I don’t like people proposing that traumatized individuals weave webs of self-driven lies, and don’t care if their child’s body is slowly rotting in a swamp, or that they don’t even care that their daughter is dead.

I care deeply that children be believed when they tell about child sexual abuse, or when an adult survivor of sexual abuse finds the courage to share their story, therefore, I despise it when people lie about sexual abuse. I have strong feelings against anyone who tries to put forth that traumatized people will tell ego-driven lies to deliberately deceive, betray, and confound others –all for self-gain, and that they will do it with joy.

I am angered that anyone -even the so-called nincompoop psychological “experts” on TV- can imply that sexual abuse creates narcissistic sociopaths who go on with life as if nothing has happened when their child has been tragically killed in a drowning accident.

And I care about the safety of children.

Please visit my homepage:

https://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Headlines, News, rape and abuse and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Sexual Abuse Does Not Make a Person Into a Cold-Hearted, Pathological, Narcissistic Liar

  1. little nel says:

    I also know the fear that comes with abuse. My mother was convicted of child neglect and I was put in a “jail” at 9 years old where I was abused some more in the county home.

    When I was 14 my father gave me an ultimatum. I had my choice between having sex with him and my step-sister at the same time, or death. He craved having a threesome with two 14 year girls.

    I told him that I would rather die than submit to his sick behavior because I remembered the shame and humiliation that I endured in the “county home”.

    I remember the look of rage on his face and the clenched fist of iron that he raised to hit me, just when I thought that I would die at his hands, his arm froze, and he was unable to follow through with his death threat.

    “I will stop the hand that is raised to strike you” is a scripture that comes to mind.

    When his demeanor changed to a look of fear, I ran away as fast as I could and sought refuge with another person who lived nearby.

    I found out later, as an adult, that everyone in the family knew that my father was a sick pervert, including my mother, who treated her children like unwanted pets and resented us because she hated him.

    • Alethea says:

      “When I was 14 my father gave me an ultimatum. I had my choice between having sex with him and my step-sister at the same time, or death. He craved having a threesome with two 14 year girls.”

      Little Nel. Big hugs to you. THANK YOU for being brave enough to share that your father did this to you. I cannot say why on my blog, but I want you to know that I understand and have deep compassion for what you endured. I want you to know, that sharing this secret so openly is very healing for others, and it bursts the bubble of denial in mainstream society that says, “oh, a father just wouldn’t do that to his little girl.”

  2. Dechen says:

    Bless your heart for the bravery you show in telling your story and speaking the hard truth. I completely relate. My father/abuser was a pillar of the community, and a pathological liar who would lie so automatically, even with no obvious gain. He created this precarious house of cards with his lies, the only way to keep it from crashing around him was to keep people in separate compartments so nobody could compare notes. It was so crazy making that when I was about 30 I ratted him out and all of his lies were finally exposed. But did he finally see the errors of his ways? No he just kept lying because by then it was a deep part of who he was. But growing up that way created an intense need in me to NEVER lie.
    At least I am ” fortunate” enough that when my mother grew tired of me, she just walked out and left me with him, instead of killing me and leaving me for the wild creatures to devour.
    By the way, many of the original Grimm fairy tales had the mother as the evil one trying to destroy the children. The whole wicked stepmother thing came later to lessen the great discomfort created in people by the original stories.
    Somebody over on the Investigation Discovery chat board said after the verdict that the whole world is suffering from PTSD from this trial right now. I think they are right.

    • Alethea says:

      “By the way, many of the original Grimm fairy tales had the mother as the evil one trying to destroy the children. The whole wicked stepmother thing came later to lessen the great discomfort created in people by the original stories.”

      Wow, that’s interesting Dechen. It’s such an injustice to truth and to children that a ‘more comfortable version’ of the fairy tales had to be created for those who can’t handle the fact that mothers are often EVIL.

Comments are closed.