My readers might wonder why I am so angry about this verdict, and why I have become so personally involved in the Casey Anthony case.
It’s because my father was a police officer and he sexually abused me from ages 3 to at least 9. My father first put his penis in my mouth at age three. My father continued to orally rape me during most of my childhood, and vaginally raped me at age seven. I was threatened with death (with a knife) if I told of the sexual abuse, and my mother knew and did nothing. I was also locked in closets and physically assaulted.
I know trauma. I know first-hand about dissociation and being victimized and going into psychological states of numbness, denial and repression. I know all about families filled with denial and who cover up sexual abuse and lies.
I also know that mothers are very capable of behaving one way with their child when other people are around, and then behaving like evil monsters when no one is around. I know about cold mothers who never really wanted children and who would have preferred freedom. I had one of those mothers.
I know about cameras and video that only capture the smiles, birthdays, and happy moments. No one had a camera ready when my father had his penis down my throat, or when my mother hit me for trying to tell about the sexual abuse.
I don’t like people who lie about child sexual abuse. I don’t like people thinking that child sexual abuse causes a person to become a cold-hearted, ego-driven, pathological liar. I don’t like people proposing that traumatized individuals weave webs of self-driven lies, and don’t care if their child’s body is slowly rotting in a swamp, or that they don’t even care that their daughter is dead.
I care deeply that children be believed when they tell about child sexual abuse, or when an adult survivor of sexual abuse finds the courage to share their story, therefore, I despise it when people lie about sexual abuse. I have strong feelings against anyone who tries to put forth that traumatized people will tell ego-driven lies to deliberately deceive, betray, and confound others –all for self-gain, and that they will do it with joy.
I am angered that anyone -even the so-called nincompoop psychological “experts” on TV- can imply that sexual abuse creates narcissistic sociopaths who go on with life as if nothing has happened when their child has been tragically killed in a drowning accident.
And I care about the safety of children.
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