Dad Forces Daughter Into Having Sex With Him In Exchange For Daughter Keeping Her Boyfriend

Saksatoon, Canada–

A man has been sentenced to two years for making his 15-year-old daughter have sex with him.

The father didn’t like the boy she was dating and told her that she needed to stop seeing him. His daughter refused, so dad came up with a deal for her…have sex with him and she can still see her boyfriend.

The girl’s family ostracized the teen for telling and for ‘causing her father to go to jail.’  The girl has been forced to move in with her grandmother because her own mother decided that she would stand by her man, instead of her child.

How in the hell is incest and child sexual abuse ever going to be stopped when women like this mother exist? This case is not unique by any means. The victim is often demeaned and cut out of the family, while the perpetrator is protected.

The message to victims of child sexual abuse continues to be, ‘don’t say anything, don’t blame your abuser, and don’t betray the family or you’ll be cut out of it.’

I know about this first-hand. That’s my family in a nutshell.


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11 Responses to Dad Forces Daughter Into Having Sex With Him In Exchange For Daughter Keeping Her Boyfriend

  1. tiinateal says:

    Absolutely sickening, and all too common as you eloquently shared above. On another note here, all of my life I have been horrified that rapists (especially child rapists – ‘molester’ is just too soft of a word, let’s call what it is) hardly get ANY jail time for their crimes! This ‘father’ gets 2 years?? And even when study after study comes out stating that sexual deviants rarely if ever ‘overcome’ their issues, we still as a society like to just give a light little slap on the wrist to these people who essentially steal a person’s entire life & future away from them. I do not mean to offend by saying that, because so many of you hear have survived and done amazingly incredible work and healing – leading wonderful, productive, loving lives. But what I do mean is that this act alone scars SO deeply and is so personal….that is should absolutely be punished on the same level as murder to me. For they are essentially murdering someone’s innocence, they attempt to kill so much of a person’s inner self…But I wonder if our system is set up that way because it was created by mostly men (and continues to be) who do not understand these things, and do not think of the crime in those ways….I”ll never forget as a kid, the mayor of the town we lived in, was quoted in a radio interview about a serial rapist that was on the loose in our city, and he had ‘joked’ and said ‘well, (the victim) she might as well just lay back and enjoy it’. I think that mentality is rampant…and allows these horrific crimes to continue and perpetuate both in society at large and in families.

    • Alethea says:

      Wonderful comment Tiinateal.

      I agree with you -almost- 100%…

      Don’t be fooled into thinking that women are so wonderful and would run things better than men. At least 45% of mothers don’t protect their child from the husband or boyfriend who is sexually abusing their child. And MANY women sexually violate children.

      Thanks for commenting. I love your opinions.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Decent people still have a hard time accepting the fact that this kind of thing really happens. We know it does, but it seems so unreal. Wake up people and lets band together to do something about it. We must see to it that the District Attorneys charge these people with everything they can, that the judge throws the book at them and let them know we will not accept less. If the punishment is severe enough, the crime will stop. If it take the ultimate punishment, which is death, then so be it. The criminal creates the situation. The criminal has a choice. If the criminal refuses to make the right choice then eliminate them any way we have to. I really am as forgiving as anyone, but child abuse is unforgivable. The bleeding hearts should realize that being as firm as the crime calls for saves so many innocent victims. I would regret it sincerely if the wrong person was convicted and sentenced harshly, but in reality you would save so many more innocent victims, that this may be a trade off we should consider.

    • SurvivorSunshine says:

      The fact is the pool of decent people is getting smaller and smaller. Call me cynical, but I believe most of these people getting off for child sexual abuse are because the DA’s, lawyers and judges are themselves aware of or culpable for abuse in their OWN families. 1 in 4 kids ( I personally think it’s really 3 out of 4) have been abused so it makes sense that DENIAL runs rampant throughout our society or the numbers wouldn’t be that high.

      What I try to do is cut through the BS and uncomfortable silence I get when I talk about how huge a problem this is to people. I don’t care if they don’t want to hear it, I’m going to keep talking about it and point out inappropriate behaviors. We need to stop socializing our kids to be so sexual and allowing adults to prey on them. It happens all around us and we just aren’t doing enough!

      Thanks for this blog, Alethea. I really admire your passion!

      • Alethea says:

        No, thank YOU Sunshine. It is people like you, and my regular readers like Little Nel, and others, who deserve the thanks –people who are brave enough to break the uncomfortable silence, blast the denial systems, and who dare to break up the “nice day” of those who don’t want to hear or know about it.

        You are right about judges. I think many are attracted to incest and to children.

        Keep up the good work.

  3. says:

    Yes, Alethea, this is exactly like my very large extended family on my maternal side. I was essentially blacklisted by all of them because I stood up and chose to bring up a long-held secret of my grandfather raping and impregnating his eldest daughter (my aunt) more than 50 years ago. I brought it up because I thought my family was ready to heal after my grandmother’s death and to shed light on how unhealthy it is for the whole family to hide incest. I suspect MANY more cases of incest and sexual abuse on that side of the family. I’d say more than 80% of my female relatives were sexually abused by a family member at some point in their life.

    Yeah, I couldn’t have been more naive to bring all of that up. They pounced on me from all sides and accused me of so many horrible intentions. My aunt who experienced the abuse said I was wrong to hurt her like that. Okay, I hurt you??? They even went as far to compare me to my father, who is in jail for masterminding the murders of my mother and brother, along with my brother’s nurse. Not sure how bringing up incest is the same as murder- but to them it was an equal sin.

    I’ve just begun to realize the past six months how SICK all of these people really are. Whether they are psychopaths (my father, an aunt, some uncles and cousins- including those that married into the family), sociopaths (few aunts and uncles, many cousins) or malignant narcissists (primarily the rest of them), I have truly been surrounded by very sick people my whole life. It’s amazing I’m alive at all or not completely delusional on drugs in a mental hospital somewhere. Most of my cousins were nurtured into either behaving the way their parents do or forced into accepting the behaviors as normal (me for a long, long time).

    • Alethea says:

      Thanks for being so honest! I was cut off by a sister whom I thought loved me. She went behind my back and betrayed me, then cut me off with a phone message on my machine. Then threatened me in an email. My crime? Writing a seven-page letter to my mother, telling her about the incest with my father, and that she did not protect me. The letter was written with love, truth, honesty, and an intent to be open and have a real relationship with her. No where in the letter to my mother, did I mention anything about abuse regarding my sisters, or anything about them at all.

      Because of my personal letter to my mother (that was supposed to be between her and me) another sister cut me out of her life completely. She called me a “liar liar liar” and said I had a sick malignant brain. She now pretends I don’t exist. That was 12 years ago…..sure I’m the one with the problem.

      The first sister mentioned above has since re-established a relationship with me, but she has never apologized or brought up what she did. Typical family bullshit –if we don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen.

      I’m at peace with it all though. I have had a lot of therapy to help me cut the emotional umbilical cord from them. They don’t affect me. I have a real family now. My husband, my animals, my friends, and God.

      • Alethea says:

        Former Miss America, Marilyn Van derbur, wrote me a personal letter many years ago when I was still emotionally distraught over being treated like dirt by my sister. She said that when she came out with her memories about her father, she likened her relationship with her family to running a marathon. She said she had done all this work and training to be strong, and when she looked back, she saw that her family had not even run a mile (all that stuff is in her book, Miss America By Day).

        Essentially, we can’t ever expect others to be honest with themselves or with us if they are not going to do the work of healing.

        • little nel says:

          Well stated Alethea,

          I read Marilyn’s book also. It was the most informative book on incest and sexual abuse that I have ever read.

          Marilyn was threatened with death by her perp, just like a lot of us.

          The rules of the family are finite and cast in stone…don’t feel…don’t trust…and don’t tell!!!!

          If you dare to tell, there will be hell to pay. You will be invalidated and shunned.

          • Alethea says:

            Little Nel, I heard one survivor put it so well, “In my family there was a code of silence. I broke the code and lost my membership.”

            I don’t want membership in any such “family.” I prefer real people, who are real with themselves and with others.

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