In light of the recent comments made by “anonymous,” who feels that the vast majority of women protect their child from sexual perpetrators in the home, and that all women are victims, I want to share something with my readers:
When I first remembered being sexually abused by my father, and that my mother did nothing to help me, I began to reveal my history of incest to some female friends. Ten of those friends disclosed to me that they too had been victims of incest or child sexual abuse, and my speaking out enabled them to share their pain with me. I was surprised that I never knew about their childhoods, and happy that by speaking about mine, enabled my friends to talk about their experiences.
At least half of them of them had a mother, or another female authority figure, who willingly did not protect them. I cannot recall what the other half of the women said about being protected, or not being protected because these conversations took place fifteen years ago and I am no longer in touch with those friends (I have since moved away).
One of the women who was not protected was my neighbor, who revealed that a family friend had molested her for years in childhood. As a child, my neighbor told her best friend, who told her mother, but nothing was done. Instead, the only thing that happened, was the girl’s mother, no longer allowed her daughter to play with my friend —as if the child victim was the one doing bad things, and not the man molesting her.
The four other friends, whose mothers knew about the abuse at the time, had a step-father, or biological father, who had raped them repeatedly as children and their mothers did nothing about it because, like mine, the women had no other source of income and they were in love with the men who were raping their children.
These women aren’t victims, they are serving their child up in a sexual sacrifice in order to keep their home and their man. The woman who would not allow her little girl to play with my neighbor, is also no victim. She is the typical person who “doesn’t want to get involved with that kind of thing” and considers the child as the dirty one, and not to be played with.
One study looked at 435 biological mothers who had been told by their child that they were experiencing inter-familial sexual abuse. Less than half of the women believed their daughters and did something to stop the abuse or otherwise protect the child, and when I interviewed 12 incest survivors, less than one third of their mothers protected them during the abuse.
Women are not saints, and many of them are not innocent creatures who will stop at nothing to protect their off-spring. Some people need to stop placing women on fragile pedestals.
This is the only Mother of Perfection; the rest are all human, with human weaknesses and self-survival instincts.