This was published in the “Dear Abby” section in June 200o.
“Dear Abby: I have a beautiful 20-year-old daughter. She’s currently home from college for a break. She spends a great deal of time in our back yard sunning by the pool and swimming. This is fine, but my concern is that she’s doing it in the nude.
Now I am far from a prude, Abby, and do most of my own sunning and swimming in the nude as well. My concern is that I am recently remarried, and my daughter doesn’t bother to cover up when my new husband is home. She seems just as comfortable nude in front of him as she is in front of me. This seems odd, because this is only the third or fourth time my daughter has met him.
I am further conflicted because my husband obviously enjoys looking at my daughter while she’s naked. She has a great body. My husband has been constantly aroused, and this has been leading to some of the best sex I have ever had. When I thought we were falling into a rut, all of a sudden we’re making love twice a day. I love it!
My daughter is home for one more week. I’m not sure whether to say anything to her or not. I’m certainly enjoying the side benefit of her exhibitionism. Should I just enjoy this week knowing that she’ll be back at summer school soon?
–Confused But Enjoying”
Speak up now. By allowing this to continue, you are playing with dynamite. While your daughter has probably learned the habit of swimming and sunbathing in the nude from you, the fact that she is doing this in front of your new husband — whom she has only recently met — is extremely inappropriate.
Consider the future. What if your daughter decides to spend other vacations with you? You won’t be able to let your husband out of your sight. And if he surprises you, and turns out to be capable of making love three times a day, it could mean the end of your marriage.”
My letter to Dear Abby,
“Regarding the woman signed “Confused But Enjoying” (June 23):
The fact that this woman quietly stood by when her new husband became aroused while staring at her twenty-year old daughter’s nude poolside activities, was unbelievable to me. Then she further shocked me by saying that, because of this, she was having the best sex ever and did not want to ruin it by saying anything to her daughter.
Abby I am absolutely amazed and disgusted at the ignorance of this woman. Does she not understand that while she is having “some of the best sex she has ever had” her new hubby is probably fantasizing about her own daughter? It is women like this who allow incest in their home. Yes this girl was twenty years old, but what if the husband was becoming aroused over her seven year-old daughter? Would she also say and do nothing so she can enjoy some of the best sex of her life?
Please sign me: “Welcome to Reality”