“I am Going to Talk About it Until My Last Breath”

Here is part two of Marilyn Van Derbur’s Interview.

I love Marilyn, and agree with her 99% of the time, but I don’t agree with her when she says that teenagers don’t know that the sexual abuse of their younger, vulnerable siblings, is wrong unless we talk to them.

Teenagers absolutely know right from wrong. They are not developed enough in their brain to understand the consequences of what they are doing, but they know it is wrong to rape, molest, or sexually abuse a younger child.

If they did not know it was wrong, they would not do it in private, and they would not tell their victims to keep it a secret.

I also hope that when she gives her speeches and talks to victims and survivors, that Marilyn stresses the point that it is not just brothers violating other siblings; it is also sisters who sexually violate their little sisters.

But I love what Marilyn told that man on the train, who asked her if she is going to talk about “it” [the incest] again. She defiantly told him, “I am going to talk about it until my last breath.”

I also love the the fact that Marilyn understands the wisdom of the victim being more angry at the person who knew, and did nothing to stop the abuse, than they are at the abuser.


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4 Responses to “I am Going to Talk About it Until My Last Breath”

  1. little nel says:

    My father systematically destroyed his children, as far as I am concerned.

    My older brother was beaten with a hose by my father and left bruised, welted, and bleeding for his attempt to protect my step-sister. My grandfather who was “a deputy” came and removed my brother from my father’s house. Once again, no charges were filed.

    My step-brother who witnessed the beating turned to drugs. He was a high academic achiever in school but my father’s abuse took it’s toll. He became suicidal but continued to achieve in school. He had the highest SAT’s in the history of the school but could not stop my father from abusing his sister. Death threats were the norm in my father’s house.

    I intervened for my older brother in a dramatic suicide attempt that the media covered because the SWAT team had to be utilized. They spun the story into a Vietnam Veteran “emotional breakdown” drama, but I knew the truth of his issues.

  2. little nel says:

    My brothers were forced to accept my father’s sexual abuse of my step-sister after they told step-mother about it and were threatened with death by my father if they ever told again.
    I remember how they were forced to ignore it when my father took my step-sister into the master bedroom and closed and locked the door.

    They would be watching TV next to the locked door and ignoring the obvious.

    • Alethea says:

      Are your brothers older than your step-sister, and do they feel any regret now?

      • little nel says:

        I believe that the guilt was wide-spread in our family. Everyone has guilt and they mostly fear my younger brother now, who has stepped up and emulated my bully father. He is the reason that I have bodyguards with me when I visit my mother in the nursing home.

        I had heard that step-sister had anger and lots of it.

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