People who read my Blog on a regular basis know that I don’t hold back from saying what most other people won’t dare say. I have stumbled upon one of those moments.
I am watching a lot of the coverage of the Sandusky trial and none of the TV commentators, or mental health experts, are mentioning something that needs to be acknowledged.
They keep repeating that child sexual abuse is about power and control. But no one ever says that it is also very much about sex! These are sexual acts against the child. The perpetrator has an erection and is probably having orgasms when he sexually assaults the child.
The hard unspoken fact is that sometimes women who are married to men who sexually abuse children, are women who don’t want to have sex anymore, and out of SELF-convenience, they turn their heads to the sexual abuse in the home.
The little boys (or a daughter) take the load off the woman so she doesn’t have to deal with having sex anymore.
I am not saying this is the case with Dottie Sandusky, but it could be. Jerry Sandusky could have always been sexually confused, and with a deviancy towards little boys. If Dottie stopped wanting sex with him, maybe little boys became Jerry Sandusky’s sole sexual outlet because of his attraction to them, that they are such an easy target, and so easy to threaten and manipulate.
BELLEFONTE, Pa. — “To those who already believed the allegations that Jerry Sandusky had sexually assaulted young boys, the first week of his trial only painted a more vividly horrific picture of the man.
Eight young men last week gave graphic and, at times, excruciating testimony about being sexually abused by Sandusky, a former assistant football coach at, and spoke of the lingering emotional trauma they had experienced.
Through the prosecution’s presentation, though, another figure has emerged, if only vaguely: Dorothy Sandusky, Sandusky’s wife. Those who believe Sandusky to be guilty have been unsure what to make of her. Had she truly been in the dark? Was she in denial? Was she, too, culpable, having, perhaps through negligence, served as an enabler?
Did she ever confront her husband about all the young boys in their lives, and in their basement playroom, and, as has been claimed in the trial, in their hotel rooms? One accuser testified that, knowing Dorothy was upstairs in the family home, he cried out for help as Sandusky raped him.
This week, some of those questions may be answered if Dorothy, who is on the witness list, is called upon to testify in defense of her husband of nearly a half-century. She has been absent during the trial, apparently relying on friends and family — who sit each day in the front of the gallery just behind Sandusky — to keep her informed of developments.
Through interviews with friends and neighbors, and in details Sandusky provided in his autobiography, Dorothy Sandusky emerges as a caring, thoughtful and vigilant wife, mother and friend. A neighbor, Dana Kletchka, said that last August, after her son was born, Dorothy visited her and her husband, Paul, bringing acasserole, knowing that the Kletchkas did not eat meat.
“We had the key to their house and they had the key to ours, and 10 years ago when we first moved in, she came over and closed our windows when we were gone and it started raining,” Kletchka said. “We literally borrowed cups of sugar from her.”
Oh, well then, a woman who makes veggie casseroles and who loans out cups of sugar to the neighbors can’t possibly be a woman who would turn a blind eye to the sexual abuse of children going on in her home!
“There are also hints that she failed to grasp the seriousness of her husband’s legal predicament when Sandusky was formally charged last fall.
On Nov. 9, 2011, not long after a Pennsylvania grand jury report was released that detailed Sandusky’s suspected sexual abuse, and just hours before a riot broke out after the firing of the football coach, Sandusky was seen shopping at a local sporting goods store wearing Penn State attire. Many in the community were incensed, but that evening — according to a neighbor who asked not to be named and two other neighbors who corroborated the account — she seemed at a loss. “I don’t know why they’re being so mean to Jerry,” the neighbor recalled her saying.
The next year the Sanduskys adopted the first of their six children. They would become foster parents to several more. Having settled in State College, where Sandusky was hired as a defensive coach for the Nittany Lions, Dorothy became an impeccable homemaker, friends say. She watched over the children when her husband was on the road, prepared their meals and kept an immaculate house.”
My mother also prepared meals and kept an immaculate house; so what? Neat and tidy homemakers are perfectly capable of willingly allowing child molestation in the home, or of being child sexual abusers themselves!
“When the child sexual abuse charges were leveled against her husband, Porter said, Dorothy was “astounded.” She said Dorothy’s perspective was that, “for all Jerry’s done for these kids all these years, how could a few of them turn their stories around and make him seem so bad?”
One accuser testified last week that Sandusky once halted an assault in the basement after he heard Dorothy calling to him from upstairs.
“It was actually the one night I got a decent amount of sleep,” the man said. “She never came downstairs.”
Chuck Williams, an expert on dealing with child abuse and a professor at Drexel University, speaking about the spouses of child abusers (and not the Sanduskys), said that they often sense that something is wrong but rationalize that the cost of taking action might be greater than turning a blind eye.
“Who wants to admit that you’re sleeping next to a pedophile and you married one?” Williams said. “It’s just too much for a lot of people.”
Self-protection. It is more important for these kind of women to protect their own SELF, and the image of themSELVES being projected to friends and neighbors, than it is to protect a child.
“Dorothy’s neighbors said that when the scandal broke, they believed that she was blindsided by the allegations. Now they are not so sure.”
Women like this will act shocked to protect themSELVES, but I bet these allegations were NOT a surprise to her. I think her only shock was that someone actually spoke up and took action. I think after all these years of kids being molested and adults shoving it under the rug, she thought it would be a secret forever.