The Story of Grace: One Woman’s Inner Journey from Sexual Confusion Towards Liberation

This is the story and testimony of a twenty-six year old woman named Grace, who sent me a private email in the spring of 2012.

Grace found me through my Blog by reading my article on the severe, and sometimes devastating, effects of child sexual abuse perpetrated by a female, on a female child.

Grace confided in me that the reason for her online search was because, at the age of four, she had been sexually abused by her sister. Her sister was nine at the time, and the abuse lasted approximately five years.

When Grace first began communication with me, she expressed that she had been living in a same-sex relationship for almost four years. Grace loved her partner very much, and her partner and lover had been a huge source of support and encouragement for her. The two women even spoke of being together “forever” and of having children one day. Grace has never been sexual with a man.

Grace and her female partner had sex, but during the last two years of their relationship, Grace’s depression and general malaise grew, and the two women stopped having sex. This was incredibly difficult for Grace’s lover, but because of the love that Grace’s partner felt for Grace, she patiently waited for Grace to feel better.

During this time, Grace was extremely angry and fought with her partner on a constant basis. Looking back, Grace feels this was her subconscious mind trying to come out and speak up. Grace knew somewhere deep inside herself, that her sexual intimacy, and relationship with a woman, was based on the sexual abuse she endured by her older sister.

Although Grace blocked out most of the abuse for many years, she always knew in the back of her mind that something had been wrong with her interactions with her sister and, in her late teens, she wrote about it in her journal. Grace always remembered being “physical” with her older sister, and experimenting sexually with her, but she often blocked it out, excusing it as “we were both children, it was just natural sexual exploration.”

This form of denial caused Grace to not deal with the abuse head-on, and the knowledge of the incest consistently slipped in and out of her mind.

Grace revealed to me that she felt her sister might even have blocked out the abuse because it had been nearly twenty years since it happened. But as Grace examined her anger, she got in touch with the fact that her normal sexual, emotional, and mental development was severely stunted by the abuse.

Grace, like so many female victims of child sexual abuse, perpetrated by a female abuser, was afraid of opening up and sharing her story with others because of the voice that told her, “No one will believe you.” So Grace’s partner had been the only person she ever told about the incest with her sister.

Photo of Grace, taken in the summer of 2012.

Photo of Grace, taken in the summer of 2012.

Grace had originally contacted me because her soul was urging her that something was not okay. About three months before emailing me, Grace had become confused about her sense of self and her sexual orientation, and she had begun to feel the sexual abuse perpetrated by her sister had muddled her true sexual identity.

Grace had begun to realize that, because she was so sexualized by another female as a child, the sexual abuse directly affected her sexual choice as an adult. This was also the reason why Grace was so unhappy. Even though she was in a relationship with a caring, supportive partner who loved her very much, there was something that just did not feel right inside.

Grace, who used to work with children on a daily basis, left her job after telling her partner of the incest, because it was all she could think about, and it sent her into such a state of depression that Grace decided to go on antidepressants.

Grace wrote to me:

“I think I might be straight on the inside. I’m so confused. My partner and I rarely have sex, and I have very little drive or desire. It is so bizarre. I even thought I was asexual for a while! I have never been with a man, and I am thinking more and more that the abuse has muddled my sense of self and my own ability to recognize my sexual orientation in a healthy way. I wish I was able to be honest with myself, but I think the abuse is preventing me from seeing whether or not I am straight. This has taken me to a very dark and depressed place.”

Grace’s anguish had intensified before contacting me, because she had recently recalled the memory of her sister telling her as a child, “you can never tell anyone.”

Grace’s family is very close, and for years, Grace felt a sense of closeness with her sister, but once Grace truly became honest with herself, and realized that what she experienced as a child was abuse, she began to drift further and further away from her sister. This had become complicated for Grace because she knew everyone in her family would wonder why she didn’t want to see her sister. Grace knew that, even if she cut her sister out of her life, she would not be able to tell her family why.

Grace’s family, like so many millions of families where incest takes place, is notorious for denial.

During the time that Grace was struggling with these new memories, she discovered her abusive sister had become pregnant. Though Grace knew her sister’s child was innocent and had nothing to do with the situation, this did not stop her from realizing how much was taken from her, and that Grace was left to pick up the pieces, while her sister the abuser, moved on and started a family.

The pregnancy was disturbing Grace very much. Her family was very excited about the pending arrival of the new baby, and this was in part, creating anger in Grace. She felt angry that her sister never spoke of the abuse, and that her sister often asked why she was not invited over to Grace’s home.

It seemed to Grace as though her sister was forcing demands that she had no right to force. Grace found herself not wanting her sister over to her home at all; she just needed to work in therapy on how the abuse affected her life. By the time Grace emailed me, she wanted nothing to do with her sister.

The pregnancy was disturbing Grace very much. Her family was very excited about the pending arrival of the new baby, and this was in part, creating anger in Grace. She felt angry that her sister never spoke of the abuse, and for asking Grace why she was never invited over to Grace’s home.

By the time Grace emailed me, she wanted nothing to do with her sister.

When Grace told me she feared her anger would never pass, and that she would just have to deal with the trauma by cutting her sister out of her life for good, I offered Grace the phone number of my therapist because I knew she could help with every issue Grace was suffering from.

Grace soon began having hypno-analysis therapy with my therapist.

When Grace began the therapy, her memories included kissing her sister, and dry humping with her. Although she blocked out most of what happened, Grace did have a sense that there might have been oral sex with her sister.

When Grace started the therapy, she was willing to end her relationship with her female partner, if it meant being true to herself —if it meant coming to the realization that she was actually straight, and not gay. Grace looked forward to cleaning up her sexual confusion once and for all (she still did not know for certain what sexual orientation she identified with) because this was causing her a lack of self-love, and a profound lack of joy.

As the therapy progressed with Ysatis De Saint-Simone, Grace allowed herself to recall the oral sex her sister forced her into.  This was an extremely uncomfortable memory for Grace. She remembered that she felt an aversion to oral sex with her sister, and had no idea how to do it, but innocently followed instructions anyway. Being close in a sexual way with her sister was pleasurable.

Through the hypno-analysis therapy, Grace was able to deal with the painful knowledge of how sad she had become as a child when her sister grew up and lost interest in her. Like countless victims of child sexual abuse, Grace was angry when the abuse stopped.

“It stopped because she started dating and going out with her own friends, leaving me alone like a used doll. I remember kissing, dry humping and at least one incident of ofrced oral sex (me on her). Yes, I experienced immense physical pleasure and remember wanting it. I have dealt with this in therapy with Ysatis and actually have felt the anger and sadness when she didn’t want to “do it” with me anymore.”

Grace ultimately realized that what she once thought of as “natural sexual exploration between children” was indeed abuse.  She also realized that being sexually intimate with another female as a child caused her to become so deeply involved in a same-sex relationship.

This revelation created a need in Grace to be true to herself and to liberate her soul from the false idea that she was a lesbian. Grace eventually came to the understanding that she needed to break off the relationship with her partner.

Grace experienced much emotional pain and fear in ending her four year relationship with her live-in, same-sex partner. Grace felt as though she was losing her best friend, and her heart was broken. But being true to herself was more important than clinging to a relationship which was rooted in the sexual abuse by her sister.  It was also unfair to her partner.

When Grace first emailed me, she was in a very emotionally distressed state of mind. As time passed, and as Grace continued her sessions with Ysatis De Saint-Simone, I noticed that her emails showed her increased strength and self-empowerment. She had taken back her personal sexual identity —an identity that was previously based in having been sexually abused by her sister, and in part, by her relationship with her father.

Grace wrote to me:

“The initial problem dealt with was my abuse story. Being victimized by my own sister has been something Ysatis and I have worked on. Another thing that came up was my aversion to men in general, caused by my main male role model (father). He was abusive to my mother, selfish, and reinforced the idea that I never wanted to end up like my mom, so I have avoided men. This has left me in a state of confusion and general depression, which is what I have been battling the hardest for the past month.

After coming to terms with my abuse, healing key events that have kept me trapped in the grip of the abuse, and also dealing with my image of men and the role I want them to play in my life, I thought my journey was over. I thought “Now that I know, I can move on”. Not so. I came to a half-hearted conclusion that I am actually not queer, as I had thought, and started becoming physically attracted to a male coworker. I broke up with my partner of four years. My ex and I were serious…we spoke of the future. 

I should definitely add, though, that I was extremely angry and emotionally needy of my ex (also controlling, in some senses).  This was my subconscious being unhappy with these plans we made… I would go along with the conversation, but was never truly, freely happy in the relationship.  Whenever things were good, I would pick a fight.  I was angry most of the time.  I also have to add that through therapy, I have learned that my aversion to men is not only related to being led to believe that I was sexually attracted to women (through my sister’s abuse), but also to the general abuse I witnessed in my family, and the dysfunctional relationship with my parents. A lot of my attraction to the “safety” of women (all the way up to being in a romantic relationship with one) was my never wanting to be in the situation my mother found herself in, married to “that kind of guy” who was abusive in many ways (like my father).  So, my parents’ model, in addition to my abuse by my sister, made me shy away from the idea of being with men.  The abuse by my sister created the connection of physical pleasure and intimacy to women. This is a huge connection that I only made through therapy.”

By having the therapy with Ysatis De Saint-Simone, Grace renewed her joy in her teaching job, and worked on her self-confidence, and self-image. She slowly grew to a place of independence and security, and eventually began to make new friends and to be social. Grace even created an online dating profile, just to test the waters. She looks forward to meeting a man, and to do, and experience, what makes her heart sing.

As Grace worked through the memories of sexual abuse, her sister’s instructions to keep silent, and her feelings and emotions about her true self and her sexual identity, Grace also began to deal with the thought of disclosing the abuse to her biological family, including the very real possibility of confronting her sister about what she had done to her as a child.

After Grace spent time deciding whether or not to reveal her memories to her abuser, Grace made the difficult decision to write a letter of disclosure to her sister. Grace courageously sent that letter last week. The letter is printed below:

Dear [sister],

“I am writing because I have to settle something with you, and I need to do this in order to move on in my journey of healing.  The past few years have been a nightmare of mental illness for me.  The reason behind the distress in my life is the fact that I was used and harmed in an extreme way when I was a child.  You sexually abused me.  It was very wrong and you were 100% aware of what you were doing – you were already 10 and I was only 4.  Your actions have left a very deep scar on my emotional, physical, sexual, and mental well being.  They also shattered my image of you.  I have gone from denial (even forcing myself to forget), to fear, to despair, to healing.  In the past, I always remember feeling uncomfortable around you, even though we had moments when we got along.  As I reached adulthood, I realized that the deep void in my life, my chronic depression, and my laundry list of physical ailments were rooted in emotional distress.

In the past year, I started looking honestly at what was done to me. I remember initially thinking, “We were both children; maybe it was just natural sexual exploration”.  I soon realized that you knew very well that what you were doing was wrong (I remember your words: “You can never tell anyone”).  It lasted years and you were much older than I – certainly old enough.  I have been doing vigorous therapy and have realized that you were wrong in your actions.  Words cannot begin to express how much the abuse has tried to mess up my life.  But no more: I have taken my life back and have dedicated time to learning who I really am, and who I would have grown up to be if my innocence hadn’t been stolen.  I wanted to say all this in person, but my centered decision was to consider the baby inside you and protect it from whatever reaction you have to this.  The baby is not involved in this and I will not allow another child to be victimized by the events of so long ago.  Now that you have given birth, you must know the reasons why I have distanced myself.  I hope with all my heart that your child is not robbed of innocence.  I also wanted to let you know that living as if nothing happened is extremely painful and uncomfortable for me.  So, now that the baby is born, it’s time to settle this issue with you. To tell you I hate what you have put me through.  I love you because you’re my sister.  However, I don’t doubt that this is the wedge between us and I have gone through too much pain to brush it off. I have given thought to the fact that maybe you were victimized yourself – that is your path to engage in, and I think it is too severe to ignore.

There are certain people who I will never tell of what you did to me – why put them through that kind of pain?  But there are other people who I have confided in and will continue to confide in; I am no longer scared to share my story.  I have done nothing wrong, except deny myself of the full life I deserve because of my emotional, mental, and sexual confusions.  You were wrong. My silence until now is NOT me accepting what was done to me.  The time leading up to the writing of this letter has been a true process for me, and this is simply a step on my path.  I have no idea what the future holds for our relationship. My hope is that you will one day find the strength to be as honest as I am being now.  Please do not contact me with the intention of denying anything contained in this letter.  If you do contact me, it will be from a place of honesty and wanting to build a truthful relationship – the kind that two loving sisters should share.”

…As of the publishing of this article, Grace has not been in contact with her sister. Grace will most likely share the outcome of her sister’s response on this Blog because Grace is extremely grateful that she began the therapy with Ysatis De Saint-Simone. Grace wants to help others by sharing her story and her journey, and I am so grateful that she has.

Please note that Grace contributed to the writing of this article more than fifty percent.

Latest update on Grace: Healing From Inside Out

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23 Responses to The Story of Grace: One Woman’s Inner Journey from Sexual Confusion Towards Liberation

  1. Bob Luthultz says:

    I came across this information when I was researching the word “Rejuvenation” on the Internet. I am drawn to Ysatis De Saint-Simone teaching because my life experience has taught me that the “mind” plays a huge roll in how our life experience plays out. I have ordered several of her books and I want to know so much more. I also just sent for the DVD on Rejuvenation.

    I am engaged to be married sometime in September of this year 2014. We are talking about setting a date. Anyway, I am 58 years of age and I want to take off weight. January 4th I weighed in at 302.9 lbs. Since that date I have dropped 20lbs and my body and mind seems to be stopping me from dropping additional weight. I have been stuck for well over 3 weeks even though I’m still doing what I did to drop the first 20lbs. I am 5’7″ tall and I know I don’t need to be carrying this much weight. When I was a kid I always wanted to be like my dad and in my minds eye he was always heavy. I think this may be my stumbling block that I need to clear. Although I am aware it could be something far different.

    I read that Ysatis De Saint-Simone prefers to do phone sessions. I would love to do the first session in person if that is possible. I live and work in Orange, California down by Disneyland. I was told that Ysatis De Saint-Simone currently lives and works in Pasadena, California.

    The email address offered on her blog does not appear to be valid any longer. Maybe all I need is the DVD yet I don’t feel I came across this information by accident. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

    Much Love and Gratitude. . .
    Bob Luthultz
    luthyb2000@yahoo.com

    • Alethea says:

      Dear Bob,

      I have forwarded your email to Ysatis. You sound like you are a great candidate for the therapy, as you already understand the mind, and have a will to change your life for the better. One of her specialties is working with people who want to lose weight.

      When I read your email, I was “coincidentally” watching a documentary on how the subconscious mind controls our lives, so it is not just your experience, or mine, scientists are now figuring it out.

      All my best,
      Alethea

      • Bob Luthultz says:

        Thank you so much.  I hope she will contact me.

        ________________________________

  2. Nancy says:

    Grace,
    Sharing your story helps me feel more compassionate toward myself. It is rare to find the inner workings of abuse so sensitvely articulated.
    I am especially moved by your letter to your sister, where you say:
    “I have no idea what the future holds for our relationship. My hope is that you will one day find the strength to be as honest as I am being now. Please do not contact me with the intention of denying anything contained in this letter. If you do contact me, it will be from a place of honesty and wanting to build a truthful relationship – the kind that two loving sisters should share.”

    You express yourself so clearly. I am absorbing the strength of “please do not contact me with the intention of denying…” because although I confronted my brother numerous times, he denied the abuse ever happened. I did not think of setting that further boundary with him.

    You inspire me onward. I send you many blessings of love, peace and light. Thank you and Aelthea for your courageous collaboration.

    • Alethea says:

      Thanks Nancy. As I wrote in my book (soon to be published I hope), I made the mistake of allowing the family secrets to be dropped right back in the box when I pretended right along with my mother (her desire) that no letter of disclosure about my father had ever been sent to her. It took me about ten years to figure out that I had betrayed myself for never discussing the letter with her, and for pretending that I never sent it (in order to ‘get along’ with her).

      I called her ten years later and confronted her about my letter.

      Thanks for all your support.

      Alethea

      • Nancy says:

        Alethea,
        I am so interested in the hypno-analysis process you use. I wonder if you would write a blog about what to expect in a session? for example, how do you change the memory in the subconscious? I understand you are referring to the inner child, who lives in the subconscious, which is where body memories are stored.
        I am so glad to hear of the alleviation of psychosomatic symptoms you and others report from Ysatis’ work.
        I am reading a book right now, Spare the Child: The Religious Roots of Punishment and the Psychological Impact of Physical Abuse by Philip Greven. It speaks directly to my experience of sexual abuse as a child. It never felt affectionate; it was doled out as punishment for being female, and it had religious dimensions. The result is perfectionism and apocalyptic thinking, which are prevalent in our culture. For anyone else who was physically beaten as punishment, I recommend this compassionate book.
        I can’t wait to read your book! It will be amazing, I’m sure.

        • Alethea says:

          Dear Nancy,

          I don’t think Oliver is approving my comments any longer at http://www.transformationalwriting.co.uk/1/post/2012/06/abused-children-why-do-abused-children-deny-what-happened.html

          I saw that you have posted a reply there about regression therapy:

          “In my experience, doing regression work is a two-edged sword. It can be re-traumatizing to re-associate into the abused child, and at the same time, doing so allows us to retrieve what we lost.”…

          ….”Hypno-analysis is a powerful way to access the trauma. For some, it may be too intense.”…

          …”I want to thank Alethea too, for bringing your blog to my attention. Althea writes an amazing blog. I have learned so much from her.”…

          Nancy, there are many different methods of doing regression work, and there have been many teachers. I need to strongly state that you do not know what kind of “regression work” my therapist does. What she does is NEVER re-traumatizing…ever. This is one of the staples of her work.

          In addition, her work in allowing the client to re-experience the trauma, is never in the literal sense…ever. Her therapy works progressively, so that the person is well-prepared emotionally before they ever take themselves back to any given memory. Due to the extensive strengthening work done in Ysatis’s therapy, when the client does reach the traumatic memories, they are fully ready to face the pain, release the negative emotions, and change the memory to one of empowerment and thus, healing.

          You do not know my therapist, her exact method, how she was taught, and what the process is. You can discuss hypnotherapy in general in other forums, and here, but in the discussion at Transformationalwriting, it was begun because of my therapy, and the method my therapist uses. So please direct yourself to things that YOU have practiced or experienced. You cannot comment on what Ysatis De Saint Simone does in her practice. Feel free to ask me, as you have done here, but in the context of what she does, you cannot say with any authority, that Ysatis’s regression therapy can re-traumatize the client…or that it can be “too intense” for some people. The tool of hypnotherapy is like any other tool for healing. It can be abused and mishandled by any given therapist.

          No client ever feels unsafe, or re-traumatized in the care of Ysatis De Saint-Simone. She has more than 30 years of experience and an excellent, unscathed reputation.

          Thank you Nancy for your kind comment about my Blog, I do appreciate it, but I am very strong in my feelings about this discussion. My therapist’s reputation is something I do not take lightly.

          If anyone has any questions about my therapist, they can contact me for her phone number.

          You can check out her Blogsite which tells about the therapy, gives her bio, and provides many testimonials (videos and written testimony) from the people she has helped to truly liberate and truly heal, in the purest sense of the word.

          Her Blogsite: http://ysatisdesaintsimone.wordpress.com/

          Best regards,
          Alethea

          • Nancy says:

            Hi Alethea,
            that is why I am asking your for more information. I have read her website; I have watched her you tube interview, but I still don’t have a feel for what a session with her is like.

            And yes, I have experienced regression work that was incredibly re-traumatizing. I am doing my best to take care of myself now, and proceed slowly.

            I can’t picture from what you have related, or from her website, how a session goes. I do not feel gentleness in your words. I feel you are angry at me, for asking questions, and trying to learn more about the work Ysatis offers, which has helped you so much.

            Please understand that I have no intention of misleading anyone. I don’t see how my words could actually do that. I was speaking in general terms, not specific or limited to the work you’ve done, which is outside the scope of my experience.

            Any kind of “one-way” thinking is questionable to me. There can’t be ONLY one way to heal; and ONE person capable of facilitating healing for incest survivors. She may be the BEST, and clearly she has helped you turn your life around in amazing ways.

            I support you all the way, but I don’t understand why you are so defensive about this, if you feel so secure and confident and healed.

            All trauma survivors have lots to learn from each other, and I hope that asking questions is one way we support each other.

            • Alethea says:

              Nancy, it is not for me to explain how exactly a session goes. If I explain it incorrectly and mislead someone, then that can harm her reputation, and mine. As you are most likely aware, the therapist themselves need to speak personally with a potential client to answer any in-depth questions. It is not my place to become a go-between for how exactly a session goes.

              I have never stated that I am completely healed. I am almost there, but still have some work to do. I am 100% confident and secure in this therapy. Do not mistake my irritation for being insecure. You read anger, and although anger is sometimes justifiable, in this case, what you read in my words was me being adamant in defending the reputation of a person –a reputation that has taken years to build, and me defending a person who has literally saved my life, brought me and my husband miraculous healing, and who has brought my soul back to God after losing God for 25 years. When a person speaks with strength and truth, it is often labeled as anger, but sometimes a strong condemnation or warning is needed when it comes to matters of great importance.

              If you want to call what I write about “one-way” thinking, then that is your right. But what I have experienced is a knowing, not a belief. I KNOW the powers of this therapy and it is frustrating when the media, the FMSF type groups, and even many mental health experts themselves condemn hypno-therapy, and call it unsafe –a practice of therapy that can literally heal the world. Every day I see TV ads for all the deadly prescription drugs, and for all the unnecessary surgeries, and for cancer foundations, and for all the addiction clinics, etc etc and I feel so sad inside that the world has no idea of the healing powers of the subconscious mind. Quantum science is starting to figure it out, but right now, most people are too fixated on their drugs and alcohol, their own ego, their selfishness, their affairs, their drive for making money, going to parties, and doing nothing but “having fun” while their bodies are wasting away with disease and illness, and a loss of knowledge of WHO they truly are.

              I am so sorry that you had regression work that was incredibly re-traumatizing. I am certain, beyond any doubt that Ysatis could heal you of that problem. All it takes is a speaker phone, and will to heal. I say that with 100% confidence.

              Best wishes,
              Alethea

    • Grace says:

      Thank you for the comments, Nancy.
      I am happy to read that the contents of the letter have helped you to reflect on your own experiences with denying truth. I wrote the letter originally in anger, then went back several times as I continued therapy…and re-wrote it from a place of love, truth, and centredness. I am more than positive that the process of my therapy and the subsequent reconnection with my desire for truth and love, helped the words be as powerful as they are. 🙂

      • Alethea says:

        Grace, one of my friends read your article and she emailed me to say that it inspired her to possibly one day write her own letter of disclosure.

        Know that your article is helping others.

  3. Alethea says:

    Grace deserves a huge applause for recognizing that something was not okay, for daring to look inside herself, for reaching out for help, for being willing to look at the very real possibility that she could no longer be with her partner of four years –the person she thought she would spend the rest of her life with– and for being brave enough to share her journey on this Blog.

    A lot of people read this Blog, and many do so silently. So please know Grace that your story is being absorbed by the minds of many people, and that, in and of itself, helps your truth to be known, and to flourish in the minds of people who never knew such a story could occur.

    It will also help anyone out there who has struggled with their sexual identity. They might remain silent, but they feel good inside themselves knowing they are not alone, and one day, they might reach out for help.

    I admire you very much.
    Alethea

    • Anonymous says:

      Thank you so much for your kindness and your support through all this, Alethea. My LIFE has literally been saved since I contacted you back in Spring 2012. It is such a joy to see you also writing about Ysatis, helping inform others of her miraculous therapy…and fearlessly clearing up misconceptions along the way. Your strength and conviction are so needed in this world. I feel like this article is the first step, for me, on a path of reconnecting with my ability to love selflessly, and use my experience to help the world in any way I can. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me start this journey!

      Love
      Grace

      • Alethea says:

        Grace, your story and strength have helped me tremendously. My life has also been literally saved through Ysatis’s therapy. I know you understand what I mean, and know that you understand my vehemence in defending the miracles of what she does, and to try and explain to others that psychotropic drugs and superficial treatments of very serious trauma….cannot heal a person.

        I love the fact that you get that I am “fearlessly clearing up misconceptions” because people often take a lack of fear as someone attacking others, or being angry…when, for me, all I am doing is being true to what I know to be factual things about the mind, and doing so without fear of offending, or fear of not being liked.

        Love,
        Alethea

    • Grace says:

      Dear Alethea,
      I wrote a comment earlier but I don’t think I clicked “Submit” correctly, so I will rewrite and send (just in case you get both…). I just wanted to say thank you for your continuously kind words. Your blog has literally saved my LIFE in so many ways, by being the kickstarting force of big changes for me, which have ultimately guided me towards Love and truth. I am also happy to see you writing about Ysatis and her miraculous therapy, and fearlessly clearing up misconceptions about it along the way. Your conviction and bravery are so needed in this world we live in. I feel like this article is a first step for me towards trying to use my experiences to help others…an ability I am embracing more each day. Thank you for helping me on this journey!

      Love and light
      Grace

      • Alethea says:

        Grace, thank you for helping spread truths that are not very comfortable for many people, but that can HELP their soul.

        The personality is what is made uncomfortable, but the soul always wants to hear the truth.

  4. Grace says:

    Thank you for all the loving comments, everyone. And thank you to Alethea for her amazing blog and for helping share my story. It’s my main wish that this article validate someone out there who might be living a similar experience, and help them on a path to healing. I feel blessed to have received such encouragement from total strangers… I really appreciate it.

    With love and light,
    Grace

  5. Why Not? says:

    I second everything that little nel said, Grace! Your courage and determination are an inspiration!

    mglvsjc says: “Mistaken identity” – I really like that!

  6. mglvsjc says:

    Great Letter and eventually a wonderful healing of mistaken identity! God Bless you Grace.

    • little nel says:

      “Mistaken identity” I love this definition!

      Our self image has been so badly warped by abuse that we cannot make a positive identification of ourselves. Once the painful symptoms are eliminated then we can start to look at ourselves as we really are and not what was reflected by the abuse.

      I remember that I could not look in a mirror after the abuse because all I saw was brokenness and shame. It was just a case of mistaken identity and I didn’t know it at the time. I’m so glad that I was wrong about myself.

      • little nel says:

        I also want to express my admiration for Grace’s courage. She deserves all the happiness that this life can offer.
        Her journey is remarkable and her desire to find out the truth about her abuse and it’s effects are commendable. You rock, Grace!

    • Alethea says:

      I can’t speak for Grace, but I bet she would agree with that term…. “mistaken identity.”

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