Son To His Rapist Father: “I Hope What You Did Haunts You To Your Grave”

“A young man who was raped by his own father said he hopes his father will be haunted for the rest of his life.

“What kind of parent would do something so disgusting to his own child?” the young man said Wednesday in Saskatoon provincial court. “In my eyes, you’re a monster and I hope what you did haunts you to your grave.”

The 39-year-old father didn’t raise his son, but in September 2009, he was attempting to forge a relationship with him, court heard at his sentencing hearing. The father’s name is being withheld because of a publication ban protecting his son’s identity.

The two of them agreed to break into some cars to get some money. They used the $15 they stole to buy alcohol, then returned to the father’s home to drink. The son, who was 15 at the time, became highly intoxicated. He passed out a number of times and at one point, woke up to find his father, naked, on top of him. The boy was also naked, although he didn’t remember taking his clothes off.

The dad told the boy he was going to have sex with him and despite the boy’s protests, proceeded to do so.

Crown prosecutor Tamara Rock argued for a penitentiary term of three years, noting the father was in a position of trust.

“What’s highly disturbing to the Crown is that (the father) puts blame on the victim, saying he initiated this interaction,” Rock said. “It shows a serious lack of understanding … and judgment.”

What’s disturbing is the father is given only 3 1/2 years for the rape of his 15 year-old son. The people in the legal system, and the law-makers are the ones with the lack of understanding and judgement.

“Defence lawyer Linda Wood argued for a sentence of two years, followed by probation, noting the father has a history of mental health issues – including paranoid schizophrenia – and it’s important that he’s supervised in the community when he’s released.

The father immediately admitted his guilt when confronted by police after his son reported the incident and pleaded guilty in court, Wood said.

Judge Doug Agnew noted the starting point for sentences for serious sexual assaults in Saskatchewan is three years – and this assault was the “most invasive” type possible, in addition to the father abusing a position of trust.

He sentenced the father to 3½ years in prison, minus a credit of 50 days for remand time.

The father also must submit a sample of his DNA and must comply with the sex-offender registry for 20 years.”

As long as children are shown they are only worth 3 1/2 years, then rapists will keep on raping. Life in prison is what his father should serve. Life for a life, because unless this boy gets the best care, he will suffer for life in one form or another…especially when his father gets out and roams free to go about his day.

Thanks to Eileen for this story.


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14 Responses to Son To His Rapist Father: “I Hope What You Did Haunts You To Your Grave”

  1. terrible abuse – I hope he gets a long sentence and that his son begins to heal

  2. kellbabs says:

    I just don’t understand how the judge only gave him 3 and a half years when he said the MINIMUM for serious sex assaults is 3 yrs AND his was the MOST INVASIVE TYPE??? This sentence is disgustingly insensitive in my opinion! Would it have made a difference if it were a toddler son? Or would it have been more harsh if it were perpetrated on a woman who was a complete stranger? Because in my opinion rape is rape is rape is rape! That “starting point” is an insult to all victims! Unbelievable….

  3. Chris and Judy says:

    My biological father in a drunken rage violently and brutally raped and beat me when I was still a preschooler. He also had mental issues. When in the mental hospital after his attacks on me he experienced a valid religious conversion to faith in Jesus, never drank or abused again, became an upstanding citizen, a helper to many, esp to me, having asked my forgivenes with deep sorrow. I am so grateful that he got to live a productive life helping many. One of his co-workers described him later to me as “one of the great saints of our time”, which I believe.

    • Alethea says:

      Although I don’t know what his religious conversion consisted of, it sounds like he might have been visited by Jesus?

      I do believe that a very few amount of violent criminals can sometimes truly find God and become very pious. I am Catholic, so I hold Sainthood to an extremely high standard, but your father obviously went through a heavy transformation.

      Laws still have to exist to protect and defend children though…laws that give child rapists much more than three years. We don’t live in a world where child rapists get the mental and spiritual help they need to be free, and to never harm a child again. Your father is a rare case.

      • Alethea says:

        Just realized this sounded like I was scoffing at you. I truly meant what I said because I do believe that many people have been visited by Jesus in the very real sense. Jesus has appeared to countless people for reasons of conversion, to give messages, or to change their lives in some way that helps others.

    • little nel says:

      Wow! What a story! This man was truly changed! That must have been a shock to everyone who knew him before his total transformation.

      When my husband had a spiritual transformation, our pastor asked me if he had really changed. I said, “yes.” It was very hard for me to adjust to this “new man”, so we threw away our old marriage, and started a new marriage with another wedding and honeymoon. It made the process of adjusting to this new man more comfortable and fun.

  4. Alethea says:

    Thank you Grace. I wonder what kind of society influence contributes to this? Is Canada a very liberal-minded country? Not that I am conservative-minded, or liberal-minded..but when there is an unbalance in thinking, it can dictate the legal system.

    • Grace says:

      Generally speaking, yes I would say it is fairly liberal…compared to other countries, I should add. There are of course policies that one might argue are not “liberal” but in general…yes.

  5. Grace says:

    Apologies…that last link was broken upon my double-check. Here is the link to the article that I meant to share. Hope it works this time.

  6. Andre' says:

    I know a man who sat me down and proceeded to tell me how his father violently raped him as a young boy, frequently in the shower. He always seemed angry around town, and by telling his friends what had happened to him, he released a lot of anger that he had bottled up. It also helped us understand why he was the way he was. I dont understand how a man can rape a young boy/girl let alone his own son/daughter. He hated his father.

    • Alethea says:

      Thanks Andre’ I am surprised he found the courage to tell people. Although it is a huge release, and can help the person to feel better for a time, telling others our secrets cannot heal is only a small step in dynamic, and truly liberating healing.

    • little nel says:

      Hi Andre’
      “He hated his father.” There are many of us who can relate to your friends’ pain and anguish that is “bottled up” inside. I hope that this man finds solutions and can resolve his pain for his being raped by his father as a helpless child. It is good that he has people like you that he can talk to about the abuse.

      I know some who have been freed from this horrible trauma and it’s grasp in our minds and bodies. I pray for those who are still out there hurting and believe that they will find the peace and love that they deserve.

  7. Grace says:

    An interesting fact to add is that the Canadian sex offenders registry is not open to the public. So his name will continue to be withheld. Mental health cases seem to be running rampant in the media these days. Another example is Richard Kashkar who was found not guilty for killing a police officer with a snow plow…also on mental illness grounds.

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