“Forgive and Forget” is Like Saying “Get Sick and Die”

Once in a while I receive a comment from someone whose intentions are to get a rise out of me, or to just release their ego-driven anger towards me. Once in a while, I use these comments as a way to address concerns or questions from my readers who might have quietly wondered about certain aspects of my therapy, or about my abuse as a child and my reactions to the incest.

Some people think I ought to just delete the comments and ignore the person. Sometimes I am forced to do that because the comments are too vulgar, can hurt my readers, or contain verbal garbage meant to attack me personally.

Other times, I use these comments to post an article:

“Anonymous” wrote to me:

“You were NOT given a gift from God. Conjuring up false memories that some looney therapist mother-figure put into you head and directing others to her are NOT gifts from God. Give up the looney-toon therapist. Switch to a new one. You cannot because she fulfills an enormous need in you”

I have read of therapists who do become mother figures to their clients. I have always known that this is bad news for the client. No therapist should ever try and replace an abusive or ineffectual mother. This is dangerous to the client. What if the therapist dies, moves away, or betrays the client in some way? If the client was allowed by the therapist to form an emotional mother-figure attachment, the client would be re-wounded in a very serious way.

My therapist has NEVER attempted this with me. Nor have I ever attempted to make my therapist a mother-figure.

I have never even met my therapist. I have always had the therapy over the phone because we live in different states. More importantly, I consider my therapist like a doctor. I do not become involved in a personal relationship with her. I speak with her twice a week for an hour each time, and the focus of the phone calls is always the hypo-analysis therapy sessions, or discussion about something that has disturbed me. If we have time, we sometimes speak of world events or human psychology.

My therapist is like a surgeon without a knife. Through the use of hypno-analysis (different from hypnosis) we remove the trauma, emotional pain, anger, resentment, and fear. We continue this process until we get to the root cause. Once the root is released from my subconscious mind, I will no longer have any effects from the incest and will never again experience any psychosomatic symptoms connected to the incest.

“It is interesting that you hate your mother so much. This is very telling. You seem to hate your mother more than you do the father who supposedly raped and tortured you – this is VERY telling.”

First of all, I do not hate her. But what is so surprising? If a mother sexually abuses her daughter, allows the daughter to be raped, and blames the daughter for the incest, then any female child with emotions and love inside themselves would react with more rejection towards the mother.

The woman who calls herself my mother tortured me as much as the father did. People might think child rape is the most horrible thing the victim can experience. This is not necessarily true. Child rape is physically traumatic indeed, but deep emotional wounds are far worse than physical rape.

In addition, same-sex child sexual abuse can be devastating to the victim, especially when it is the parent, and especially when they got the child into things that felt good to the child. Do you think it’s easy and simple for me to tell you that I enjoyed having my mother give me oral sex? It’s one of the most disgusting, dehumanizing, self-worth crushing acts a mother can do to her daughter. Yes I gravitated to my father. Yes I had more feelings of affection for him. He was of the opposite sex. Male-female energies are natural. I got into the sex with my father too because it felt good sometimes and he gave me the attention and closeness that the mother was NEVER able to give me, but the mother’s sexual abuse of her child is far more emotionally traumatic. So how dare anyone question me for having experienced less anger towards my father?

“Daddy – who you loved very much, and who adored you, died and left you with your monster mother – this caused GREAT anger in you, which you unfortunately turned into false-memories…”

I never said my father loved me, nor do I have any memories of love from him. I never said he adored me. All I know of him was violence, rage, betrayal, hypocricy, and sexual deviancy. Long before I remembered the incest, my memories of my childhood were scant, and none of them involved any memory of adoration, hugs, or true affection or joy from either parent. My memories were always of a cold mother and a violent father.

“– it makes perfect sense why you are doing this. You live to fill your sick addiction – obsessing over sex crimes in order to fulfill a truly sick addiction. You ARE suffering from FM syndrome. This is CLEARLY evident from your writings.”

Anyone who calls what I do “obsessing over sex crimes” is either a child sexual abuser, or they have thoughts of doing it. In addition, “anonymous” must be reading too many books written by pedophiles and child sexual abusers, and reading too much material distributed by organizations that were founded and run by child sexual abusers, pedophiles, and those who make money off people who have committed sex crimes against children.

“If God were giving you a gift he would give you the gift of forgiveness and the insight to get away from the looney-toon therapist.”

As I have written numerous times, I have forgiven the mother. Maybe you need to read my article on forgiveness? In addition, my therapy has taught me to experience forgiveness in its true, and pure form. The therapy I have does not involve superficial, false forgiveness that doesn’t heal anyone – and will never purify the soul.

“You claim to be a “christian” yet you have profanities woven throughout your writings, you choose not to forgive and you seem to be holier-than-thou.”

Ah yes, ye hypocrite that you are. You judge me for using a few cuss words here and there, yet you do not have any idea under the sun what it means to be a “Christian.”

I am Roman Catholic Apostolic. I say this because the word “Christian” has been so muddied that most people do not even know what it means anymore.

You think you are righteous because you don’t use cuss words, but I know there are countless people who call themselves “Christian” and don’t use four letter words that are sometimes needed to express the depth of something important, but those same “Christians” cheat on their spouse, sleep with their best-friend’s wife, drink too much alcohol, cut off other drivers, ignore stray dogs loose on the street, hunt innocent deer and elk for their own ego-gratification, steal from their employer, don’t give to charity, support wars that are unjust and immoral, walk by homeless people without a thought, cheat their clients, watch porn, lust after young women, spank their children with a belt, and are slothful, greedy, liars.

You condemn me because your idea of forgiveness is based in superficial people-pleasing words with no depth or meaning. I have news for you anonymous, your idea of forgiveness causes illness and disease. It often causes cancer. Your form of forgiveness will never heal a person and will create an unhealthy, prescription-drug user, and someone who will need surgery for all kinds of different ailments.

Forgiveness through hypno-analysis therapy is forgiveness that liberates the soul from illness and disease and unifies a person with God. You don’t even know Who and What God is. You probably think God is some old man with a beard floating around the cosmos inflicting punishment on everyone.

You most likely have much rage and resentment, pain and anger inside your subconscious mind. But because you are so stuck in biblical concepts, and can probably recite the bible like a parrot, but don’t even know who you truly are.

You deny the power of the subconscious mind to your detriment. Nearly every human being represses every emotionally painful event in their life –emotional or physical pain inflicted by those they love or have a bond with. They repress their pain ‘in order to get along,’ to ‘forgive and forget,’ to “be Christian,” ‘to move on,’ to ‘not make waves in the family,’ and for some, to survive trauma and sexual abuse in childhood.

The word “psyche” derives from the word “soul,” and psychoanalysis is the analysis of the soul. The Power of God is within each person –the power to heal at the highest degree, and in the most dynamic way.

Read my book when it comes out, and then you can judge me.

~Alethea

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19 Responses to “Forgive and Forget” is Like Saying “Get Sick and Die”

  1. Suzyp says:

    I have experienced counseling those who have been abused–I know the pain can be unbearable. That being said, I do believe “forgiveness” is a necessity, no matter what. We put a curse on ourselves by not forgiving–possibly more than the abuser has already done. God’s word says we ARE to forgive–as plain as night and day…So, when one says that they cannot forgive–they are saying in essence: ” I refuse to forgive.” Forgiveness is a process– one must ask the Lord to help them forgive & in time during the process, He will give one the feelings that go along with their decision to forgive– if those feelings don’t come, HE knows our heart & our intentions. When people “refuse” to forgive they will endure the consequences of their disobedience to God’s word. It is not complicated. As far as forgetting, it is not a command from God, and would be nearly impossible,imo.

    • Alethea says:

      Yes, forgiveness is a journey, and if one has a will, the way will come when they finally arrive at their destination, in total harmony with their healing process.

    • little nel says:

      I came from a family where “forgiveness” was not always an option, so the concept of “forgiveness” was something that I could not grasp easily. Punishment was the method of choice that most befitted my family

      I studied about forgiveness and researched the topic of forgiveness in the hope that I could understand it and then believe in it.

      What I found is that forgiveness is something that must be done by faith. It does not take away pain but it does release us from the desire to “punish” the person who wounded us.

      I needed to be “untaught” about the punishment aspect of my reaction to my pain, so I embraced the concept of forgiveness as a remedy for the desire to punish.

      It freed me to move on with my life but it did not “cure” me of my wounds. I trusted God with my healing by faith. It was the culmination of a promise from God that I found this website and learned about Dr. Saint-Simone.

      It was Alethea’s integrity and courage that most impressed me. Her loyalty to her inner child was something that I had never seen before, so that interested me and kept me seeking my own recovery.

      • Suzyp says:

        little nel, i love your comment that ” forgiveness has to be done by faith”– a perfect way to put it !

        • little nel says:

          Thanks for the validation, Suzyp.

          I had no religious upbringing as most of my family was agnostic. My mother was involved in New Age and Eastern philosophy. It was no picnic growing up that way because the confusion and the bullshit was hard for me to navigate through.

      • Alethea says:

        Hi Little Nel.

        Thank you beyond words for saying what you have about my loyalty to my inner child, because that is an excellent way to describe it! When child sexual abuse survivors cater to the adult world, to adult concepts, and to religious dogma, the cannot truly heal.

        “What I found is that forgiveness is something that must be done by faith. It does not take away pain but it does release us from the desire to “punish” the person who wounded us [….] It freed me to move on with my life but it did not “cure” me of my wounds.”

        I have to address this Little Nel. The kind of forgiveness that is found with the therapy with Dr. Saint-Simone, does indeed take away all pain, and does cure us of all our wounds. I don’t know if you are still in therapy or not (and it is none of my business), but this therapy is almost in a sense, scientific…..in that there is no other way but total freedom from all the wounds and pain of the past.

        I personally know people who have had her therapy and who stopped it before they were fully free of their problems, and they ended up having to go back to her for other things later on. The therapy is just like surgery. It removes the problem completely, but unlike surgery, with this therapy, the person will never again have the problem in their mind, emotions, or body. The problem will not return. That is…if the person continues the therapy to the root cause –the original sensitizing event.

        “I trusted God with my healing by faith. It was the culmination of a promise from God that I found this website and learned about Dr. Saint-Simone.”

        This is beautiful Little Nel, but for those who don’t know, this therapy is for anyone, of any religion, or non-religion. Even an atheist can be helped by this therapy. This therapy is not just about faith or God, it is about removing trauma, shame, guilt, fear, and deep emotional wounds from the subconscious mind. This, is what opens the door to allow the Love of God to enter more freely into the person’s heart. One cannot have a deep bond with Love/God unless they clean up the toxic waste that is stopping them from having that connection.

        • little nel says:

          Thank you, Alethea for the clarification stating things that I left out.

          For me, it took a lot of prayer and faith to give myself the gift of this therapy. I had been told that there was no cure for what ailed me from several other therapists. I had already spent a lot of money for other types of therapy looking for relief and recovery, like Marilyn Van Durber did. I had tried many of the same things that she tried.

          “One cannot have a deep bond with Love/God unless they clean up the toxic waste that is stopping them from having that connection.” I agree.

          Until I found out how good this therapy worked for me, I held onto the hope and promises of God by faith. I didn’t have the tools or knowledge to do it any other way because I had exhausted myself many times before to no avail. I had no desire to take drugs for my “condition” and there were no websites like this before yours.

          Your integrity, your knowledge, your communication skills, your steadfastness, your devotion to your inner child, and your honesty, gave me hope for myself.

          I am a person who “crosses my bridges” when I come to them. If I try to look too far into the future I become afraid, so I take my life one day at a time, as it works for me.

          Thanks for all you do!

  2. little nel says:

    Alethea, these people are mocking those of us who have suffered severe emotional, mental, physical anguish because we were sexually abused in childhood.
    These “do-good-ers” need to stop mocking and stop denying and start educating themselves about the facts concerning unprocessed trauma and abuse.

    The ignorance that these “mockers” display is alarming and repulsive.

  3. mary says:

    Before reading your blog, or any literature on child sexual abuse for that matter, I had some friends who confided in me about being sexually abused by close and important family members– abuse that they clearly remembered. But each of them would often confess that they remembered very little of their childhood, or had inexplicable large gaps of memory.

    When I was 18, another one of my very good friends in a haze of heavy drug use and after getting married to a man who was very similar to her abuser, recalled posthumously childhood sexual abuse from “grandpa” (a man who was not her biological grandfather but she adored GREATLY) that she had not remembered previously. She never heard of FMS, never read about child sexual abuse, she never spoke to anyone who could’ve “implanted” the idea in her mind. She loved this man, continued to speak highly of him after death, what reason would she have to accuse him out of the blue, a couple years after he dies? Repression and recovery of repressed memories happen all the time.

    • Alethea says:

      Before I remembered the incest that happened to me, I had not heard of repressed memories. I had never heard that anyone could totally block out sexual abuse and trauma. My therapist never told me either. She never hinted, implied or suggested that I was abused until after I remembered it on my own. I thank her for that because if she had suggested or hinted at it, then I might always have questioned myself.

      Before I recalled the incest, I did not know of anyone personally who had been sexually abused, but after I remembered and began to talk about it, ten personal women friends told me they experienced the same thing.

  4. mglvsjc says:

    We love you…you help so many people. You know you are doing a good thing when the opposition gets intense… principalities and powers ya know.

    • Alethea says:

      “you know you are doing a good thing when the opposition gets intense”

      Great point! Thank you 🙂

  5. Lon Spector says:

    Dear Alethea,
    I am writing this letter to you in the hope that I am not Persona Non Grata on your blog.
    I know that I’ve made statements that you have found extremely objectionable. I’m NOT
    that person Anynomous. Ive never been Anynomous about any statements I’ve made since
    I’ve learned the computer last Feburary. Incidently, If you DO find me to be that repulsive,
    you might want to remove me from your blog role, I noticed that you have NOT removed me.
    We are taught that when we have a problem, we have to impose a remeady.
    If we are emotionally distraught, we have to excise the pain. We take what we “see” as
    reality.
    Suppose we are wrong? That we don’t have the entire truth at our disposal? The Bible
    says, “We look through a glass darkly.” I’m sure you’re aware of the optical illusion puzzles
    in books and magazines. Also, there have been various psychological studies that indicate
    that people fail to see things right in front of their eyes, like the gorilla in the room.
    People have a lot at steak when it comes to defending and preserving their illusions.
    Nobody wants to face the “awful truth.” People would much rather be “right” then at peace-
    even happy!
    Remember the movie, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” It’s about an abusive relationship.
    A song from that film goes: “I don’t care who’s wrong or right, I just don’t want to fight no
    more.”
    That’s how I view life. We can have peace or we can have argument. If a situation is unteanable
    you leave. Now I know that that was impossible for you as a child, like it was impossible for
    the three young ladies in Ohio. There are some unfortunate exceptions to every rule.
    We have to claim our freedom were we can. We talk about the courage of perseverance.
    There’s also the courage of knowing when to quit.
    9 times out of 10, these “macho men” will turn into quivering jellow when a woman calls thier
    bluff about leaving. They’re just as emotionally dependant on the woman as she is on them.
    So what about the unfortunate “exceptions?” They are an unavoidable fact of life.
    Everyone who has ever lived or will live will have to deal with them. Jesus Christ, who was
    “tried and tested in all things as we are.”had to deal with them. But we are also told that He
    (God) knows how much we can bear and we won’t be subjected to more then that.
    Life loads us down with “excess baggage.” The remeadies we seek are ineffective.
    Psychology, religion and much “self-help have failed. What works is the power of discard.
    You realize that you are ALREADY complete. Nothing that the world can give you can make
    you contented. (Of course, I’m not speaking of your physical condition. Seek help for
    medical problems.) Throw away the “crutch” of indoctronation. Don”t impose labels. People
    tend to believe in labels. If the negative comes just observe it dispassionately. When you see
    that negativity is unhelpful it will dissapate.)
    Go

    • Alethea says:

      Dear Lon,

      I know it was not you who wrote those comments to me. I am pretty sure I know who it is, but since they hide behind “anonymous” I will never know for certain.

      I do not find you repulsive, only your defense of Casey Anthony.

      But I am unsure what your point is with this entire this comment above.

      Alethea

    • little nel says:

      Lon, I think that you are an example of one of those who display the “Good Girl” Syndrome trying to tell others how to live.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Looking for answers I found you, is the best thing ever happened to me!

  7. kellbabs says:

    I cannot fathom how people who have no clue what you have suffered through your whole entire LIFE have the nerve to minimize your trauma like this! I’m absolutely baffled because it doesn’t even make sense why someone so insensitive to the subject would even BOTHER reading your blog??? And that brings me to my theory. Either it’s someone who enjoys molesting children themselves or maybe it’s a family member of yours who is lashing out at you & trying to hurt you. Aside from this I just don’t see the reason for anyone to be anything but sympathetic, supportive & protective of you! It is instinctual for me to want to almost “protect” you from scum like this. (Please don’t think it means that I don’t see you as strong enough to defend yourself as that is absolutely not the case. You are one of the bravest people I know of.) I feel very strongly that there is something VERY wrong with any human being who can defend someone who violates a child! Anyone who does that needs to be looked at very closely because if they haven’t already offended a child, they probably will! There is no gray area here… it is never ok to hurt a child. Equally, it is never ok to tell someone who has suffered at the hands of a predator that they are overacting!!!…. UNLESS the person sees it as ok. I’m so sorry idiots like this feel it necessary to intrude on your truth, but I greatly admire how you can turn it into a tool for your growth & the support of others. You are such an honest & amazing person.

    • Alethea says:

      Kellbabs, You’re awesome. Thank you.

      “….it doesn’t even make sense why someone so insensitive to the subject would even BOTHER reading your blog???”

      This is the great mystery. Maybe “anonymous” can enlighten us with the answer….

      But you are correct Kellbabs, those who defend child sexual abusers must have no other reason to do so unless they are also molesters, or identify with the attraction to children.

      It’s not a family member. My family members are more intelligent than this person is.

      You are amazing too! and do not worry, I have had so much therapy that this person does not bother me in the slightest, except that they spread untruths, misinformation, and lies around the Internet….and that I will always counter with the truth.

      Peace, and have a beautiful day! 🙂

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