Once in a while I receive a comment from someone whose intentions are to get a rise out of me, or to just release their ego-driven anger towards me. Once in a while, I use these comments as a way to address concerns or questions from my readers who might have quietly wondered about certain aspects of my therapy, or about my abuse as a child and my reactions to the incest.
Some people think I ought to just delete the comments and ignore the person. Sometimes I am forced to do that because the comments are too vulgar, can hurt my readers, or contain verbal garbage meant to attack me personally.
Other times, I use these comments to post an article:
“Anonymous” wrote to me:
“You were NOT given a gift from God. Conjuring up false memories that some looney therapist mother-figure put into you head and directing others to her are NOT gifts from God. Give up the looney-toon therapist. Switch to a new one. You cannot because she fulfills an enormous need in you”
I have read of therapists who do become mother figures to their clients. I have always known that this is bad news for the client. No therapist should ever try and replace an abusive or ineffectual mother. This is dangerous to the client. What if the therapist dies, moves away, or betrays the client in some way? If the client was allowed by the therapist to form an emotional mother-figure attachment, the client would be re-wounded in a very serious way.
My therapist has NEVER attempted this with me. Nor have I ever attempted to make my therapist a mother-figure.
I have never even met my therapist. I have always had the therapy over the phone because we live in different states. More importantly, I consider my therapist like a doctor. I do not become involved in a personal relationship with her. I speak with her twice a week for an hour each time, and the focus of the phone calls is always the hypo-analysis therapy sessions, or discussion about something that has disturbed me. If we have time, we sometimes speak of world events or human psychology.
My therapist is like a surgeon without a knife. Through the use of hypno-analysis (different from hypnosis) we remove the trauma, emotional pain, anger, resentment, and fear. We continue this process until we get to the root cause. Once the root is released from my subconscious mind, I will no longer have any effects from the incest and will never again experience any psychosomatic symptoms connected to the incest.
“It is interesting that you hate your mother so much. This is very telling. You seem to hate your mother more than you do the father who supposedly raped and tortured you – this is VERY telling.”
First of all, I do not hate her. But what is so surprising? If a mother sexually abuses her daughter, allows the daughter to be raped, and blames the daughter for the incest, then any female child with emotions and love inside themselves would react with more rejection towards the mother.
The woman who calls herself my mother tortured me as much as the father did. People might think child rape is the most horrible thing the victim can experience. This is not necessarily true. Child rape is physically traumatic indeed, but deep emotional wounds are far worse than physical rape.
In addition, same-sex child sexual abuse can be devastating to the victim, especially when it is the parent, and especially when they got the child into things that felt good to the child. Do you think it’s easy and simple for me to tell you that I enjoyed having my mother give me oral sex? It’s one of the most disgusting, dehumanizing, self-worth crushing acts a mother can do to her daughter. Yes I gravitated to my father. Yes I had more feelings of affection for him. He was of the opposite sex. Male-female energies are natural. I got into the sex with my father too because it felt good sometimes and he gave me the attention and closeness that the mother was NEVER able to give me, but the mother’s sexual abuse of her child is far more emotionally traumatic. So how dare anyone question me for having experienced less anger towards my father?
“Daddy – who you loved very much, and who adored you, died and left you with your monster mother – this caused GREAT anger in you, which you unfortunately turned into false-memories…”
I never said my father loved me, nor do I have any memories of love from him. I never said he adored me. All I know of him was violence, rage, betrayal, hypocricy, and sexual deviancy. Long before I remembered the incest, my memories of my childhood were scant, and none of them involved any memory of adoration, hugs, or true affection or joy from either parent. My memories were always of a cold mother and a violent father.
“– it makes perfect sense why you are doing this. You live to fill your sick addiction – obsessing over sex crimes in order to fulfill a truly sick addiction. You ARE suffering from FM syndrome. This is CLEARLY evident from your writings.”
Anyone who calls what I do “obsessing over sex crimes” is either a child sexual abuser, or they have thoughts of doing it. In addition, “anonymous” must be reading too many books written by pedophiles and child sexual abusers, and reading too much material distributed by organizations that were founded and run by child sexual abusers, pedophiles, and those who make money off people who have committed sex crimes against children.
“If God were giving you a gift he would give you the gift of forgiveness and the insight to get away from the looney-toon therapist.”
As I have written numerous times, I have forgiven the mother. Maybe you need to read my article on forgiveness? In addition, my therapy has taught me to experience forgiveness in its true, and pure form. The therapy I have does not involve superficial, false forgiveness that doesn’t heal anyone – and will never purify the soul.
“You claim to be a “christian” yet you have profanities woven throughout your writings, you choose not to forgive and you seem to be holier-than-thou.”
Ah yes, ye hypocrite that you are. You judge me for using a few cuss words here and there, yet you do not have any idea under the sun what it means to be a “Christian.”
I am Roman Catholic Apostolic. I say this because the word “Christian” has been so muddied that most people do not even know what it means anymore.
You think you are righteous because you don’t use cuss words, but I know there are countless people who call themselves “Christian” and don’t use four letter words that are sometimes needed to express the depth of something important, but those same “Christians” cheat on their spouse, sleep with their best-friend’s wife, drink too much alcohol, cut off other drivers, ignore stray dogs loose on the street, hunt innocent deer and elk for their own ego-gratification, steal from their employer, don’t give to charity, support wars that are unjust and immoral, walk by homeless people without a thought, cheat their clients, watch porn, lust after young women, spank their children with a belt, and are slothful, greedy, liars.
You condemn me because your idea of forgiveness is based in superficial people-pleasing words with no depth or meaning. I have news for you anonymous, your idea of forgiveness causes illness and disease. It often causes cancer. Your form of forgiveness will never heal a person and will create an unhealthy, prescription-drug user, and someone who will need surgery for all kinds of different ailments.
Forgiveness through hypno-analysis therapy is forgiveness that liberates the soul from illness and disease and unifies a person with God. You don’t even know Who and What God is. You probably think God is some old man with a beard floating around the cosmos inflicting punishment on everyone.
You most likely have much rage and resentment, pain and anger inside your subconscious mind. But because you are so stuck in biblical concepts, and can probably recite the bible like a parrot, but don’t even know who you truly are.
You deny the power of the subconscious mind to your detriment. Nearly every human being represses every emotionally painful event in their life –emotional or physical pain inflicted by those they love or have a bond with. They repress their pain ‘in order to get along,’ to ‘forgive and forget,’ to “be Christian,” ‘to move on,’ to ‘not make waves in the family,’ and for some, to survive trauma and sexual abuse in childhood.
The word “psyche” derives from the word “soul,” and psychoanalysis is the analysis of the soul. The Power of God is within each person –the power to heal at the highest degree, and in the most dynamic way.
Read my book when it comes out, and then you can judge me.