Positive Thinking and Affirmations: Is Louise Hay Too “New Age?”

For the coming New Year, I am doing a little research on the Louise Hay “you can heal your life” method.

Allow me to start by saying that I have great respect for her, because like me, she refused to accept the mainstream medical industry’s way of handling disease and illness.

Louise Hay is an author, lecturer, and founder of Hay House Publishing. She, like me, believes/knows that disease and illness are caused by the mind (especially anger, resentment, and guilt).

She believes, as I do, that anger, resentment, and guilt can literally eat away at the self in the form of cancer and tumors.

In her book, “Heal Your Body” Louise Hay outlines hundreds of diseases and conditions, and she lists the mental state of mind which brought the disease to the body. The problem with these lists is they are general. Every human being is unique and each person must search within themselves for the original root cause of the illness or disease.

However, Louise Hay does know the power of the mind because when she was diagnosed with vaginal cancer many years ago, she knew that if she allowed the doctor to operate on the cancer, without changing the mental pattern that created it, then her cancer would return.

Louise Hay believes, as I do, that if a person does not remove the root cause of the cancer, it will come back. If cancer returns, or shows up in another part of the body, it’s not that the doctors “didn’t get it all,” it’s that the person did not seek to find the root cause of the cancer in the first place –the disease in the mind, which created the dis-ease in the body.

When Louise Hay was diagnosed, she knew she had never acknowledged the deep resentment she was still hanging onto from being raped by a neighbor at age five.

Louise asked her doctor to give her three months to work on the deep resentment and mental patterns which created the cancer in the first place. Her physician reluctantly agreed, telling her the cancer could take her life.

Louise Hay healed the cancer by working with a “teacher” (it is unclear to me who helped her) to clear up her patterns of resentment. She also worked with a nutritionist to detoxify her body. Six months later, the medical professionals found that she was completely free from the cancer.

In my experience, positive thinking does not work for people who have been severely sexually abused, and or traumatized as a children, especially when they cannot recall all of the abuse, or any of it.

A person certainly cannot heal from trauma they do not even remember happening to them.

I am curious if any of my readers has been significantly helped by Louise Hay’s positive affirmations, or her “love yourself and change your mind” approach.

Positive thinking and affirmations can anger the subconscious mind, and a person can get worse, not better. In addition, if the positive affirmation does not work, a person can think, “what’s wrong with me?”

Louise Hay’s ‘heal your life’ approach seems to me, to be based in positive affirmations, superficial “letting go” and looking in the mirror and telling yourself “I love you.”

Frankly, I would not be surprised if looking in the mirror and saying “I love you” has not brought on a very negative reaction in many people –people like me, who have loathed themselves subconsciously and been so severely shamed by sexual abuse that they cannot stand being told something positive about themselves.

As I have written numerous times, I have healed from cfids, shingles, heart problems, bladder problems, IBS, migraines, and a whole list of ailments that affected every part of my body. I have also healed hot flashes and night sweats associated with menopause, and I have my eyesight back. With the exception of tiny print on bottles, I no longer need my reading glasses. Loss of eyesight is attributed to getting older, but it was healed in me because I had been ‘unwilling to see’ certain things about my childhood until this past year.

The hot flashes and night sweats were repressed anger and repressed fear, which shows that even our hormones are controlled by the mind.

But my original point was to say that positive affirmations have NEVER worked for me. Quite the contrary, I got very sick one day after trying positive affirmations because my subconscious mind got angry with them. My subconscious mind KNEW what I was saying was not true.

Positive affirmations might pull a person out of a temporary state of sadness or anger, by using an affirmation of gratitude, or by “looking at the bright side” but it won’t heal deep-rooted childhood trauma and deep-rooted emotional pain.

The one morning that I decided to try the “I am going to have a beautiful day” affirmation, that very morning, my beautiful chocolate Labrador Retriever, “Bear,” had a violent Grand Mal seizure and she has had seizures now for years.

In my view, this was my soul letting me know that the Universe (God/the Higher Hand/Our Divine Creator) is in charge, not me.

It was a very painful day. But instead of being bitter about my dog’s seizures, I thanked God for the honor of having been given this precious dog –to be her care-giver on earth…honored that God would choose me to have Bear as my dog.

Bear, posing on one of our hikes

Bear, posing in her favorite white stuff

I have a friend who just suddenly lost her boyfriend. He died tragically out of the blue, and she is now in a state of horrible emotional distress and displacement.

Some people use positive-thinking and “positive affirmations” to change their state of mind when they desire to bring a man into their life, but if the manifestation works, and the woman finds the love of her life, and he suddenly dies, then how will that woman react, if fate says his number is up? Does Louise Hay also teach people how to stay in peace and gratitude for life, even if they lose a child or their spouse to sudden death?

We cannot control life, and it is the ego-self that desires happiness through things, people, and relationships.

God gives man what we have, and we truly own nothing. We humans came into this world with nothing, and will leave this earth with nothing but what our consciousness has become. 

Recent Floods in Northern Colorado

Recent Floods in Northern Colorado

Trust in God is essential, and key to life. That is what “faith” means.

Bottom line, I cannot stop my dog’s seizures, and no one can stop the Higher Hand of God. If someone ‘thinks up’ a nice house on the lake they want so baldy, how do they handle the moment the house burns to the ground because a day-worker left a paint-stain soaked rag on the wood deck in the hot sun? (this actually happened to someone I know).

Does Louise Hay talk about how to handle serious tragedy from a centered point of the mind, from a place that you can handle anything in your life, without being severely affected by it –by being in total peace with the situation?

Louise Hay teaches that your thoughts create your life, but this has not been my experience at all. As a matter of fact, even when I was anxious and fearful and always thinking bad things would happen to me, good things always happened to me.

Healing and changing my subconscious mind is what healed my life. Any person can use positive affirmations and change their ‘thinking’ in order to try and change their life, or heal their body, but the soul of the person will continue to put them in certain predicaments, situations, and with certain people in order to force them to deal with any underlying, unresolved pain, trauma, or emotional betrayal from childhood.

The ego-self (our lower nature) might “want” a new house, or a new car, or to heal a particular symptom or illness “right away.” But what the ego-self wants will not bring peace, or healing to us. Everything is in God’s time, and everything is given to us or taken from us according to the Divine Plan, and no one will set themselves free by conjuring up ‘the good life’ or a man to marry, or the perfect job etc. The soul wants to make its way back to God, and the only way to get there is through suffering and transformation. We must all bear our cross in one way or another.

John Lennon said, “life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.” I would change this quote for the moment, to “life is what happens to you, while you are busy doing positive affirmations and trying manifest your desires.”

I have never tried to positive think myself into the gifts God has given me. I have always been given things and lived places beyond my imagination, places that I never knew existed, so I could not have even manifested them. The physical suffering I have healed from has never been imagined, visualized, or thought up in my mind. Everything I have healed from, has always miraculously healed by healing and changing my subconscious mind.

The only Blessing in my life that I put my mind to, was when the doctors told me there is no cure or treatment for chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome (known as cfs, or “momyalgic encephalomyelitis”) and I told myself that I would not accept that information. I distinctly remember that day, nearly two decades ago –the day I refused to accept that I was destined to pain and suffering with an incapacitating disease.

Yes, now THAT is positive thinking. But I did not know how I would accomplish this task, and suffered for another year before a friend of mine gave me the phone number of my therapist, who has forever changed my life, my being, my state of mind.

It was God who led me to my therapist. It was God who gave me the direction to call Dr. De Saint-Simone, and it was God who healed me.

I am curious if anyone knows about Louise Hay’s lectures or if anyone has read her books, and knows if she discusses how to heal from something when you have little memory of it, or when you have consciously forgiven the person who abused you and you still suffer from physical, or emotional problems? Because I know that I forgave my parents consciously many years ago. But my subconscious mind was holding onto crap I never knew existed until it came out in therapy and then, and only then, did the physical symptoms heal.

This idea of ‘change your thinking and you can change your life’ is, to me, in error and goes against what our soul’s journey is about –suffering and transformation.

If we do not humble ourselves to the will of the Higher hand of God –to the will of the Divine Master –we set ourselves up to be humbled by that Hand.

Everything in my life that I have ever received from God was given to me as a gift. Everything good, beautiful, and meaningful that has ever touched my life in profound ways, or has brought me great joy, was Graced to me by God Almighty. I have never visualized, imagined, or used positive thinking to conjure up my gifts. They came to me out of the blue, to my surprise, and without any help from me. Even when I did not believe in God for 25 years, I was Graced with incredible things, including a good man, and many miracles.

Jesus gave two commandments, not ten. He told us, “love God with all your mind, all your heart and all your soul” and “love your neighbor as yourself.” He told us that whatever we do to the least of our brother, we do to Him.

I know one thing for certain, there is a Universal Law that governs everything and everyone —what we do to the earth, its creatures, and to others will come back to us tenfold. How we approach our suffering and how we bear our cross, also has a profound affect on our lives.

This Universal law is cause and effect, or “action-reaction,” and this law plays no favorites. The law does not care what religious label a person places on themselves. We are all connected. Everything on this planet is connected. Quantum science has proven this.

Jesus did not go around telling us to imagine this, or that, and it will come true. He did not say that we need to ask for specific things, or to dictate to God what we desire. God knows what we need long before we do!

Loving mankind as I would myself is my positive affirmation. “Do not do to others what you would not want done to you” (this includes animals and nature) is my manifestation and visualization.

I am certain that Louise Hay is telling the truth about her vaginal cancer, and its cause, but I am sure she had to do some intense subconscious work to heal it.

I have two questions for my readers:

  1. Does anyone know if her lectures, books, or workshops talk about exactly how she healed her vaginal cancer?
  2. Has Louise Hay’s books, or positive affirmations healed you of serious disease or illness –to the point of total recovery from the disease, or from PTSD symptoms, nightmares, migraines, or any other trauma-related suffering?

Please leave your comments. I really appreciate your feedback. If you don’t want to comment, could you take a moment to answer the poll below? Thank you 🙂

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42 Responses to Positive Thinking and Affirmations: Is Louise Hay Too “New Age?”

  1. Alethea says:

    For anyone reading these comments. I want to be clear about the therapy I do, and to clear up any misunderstandings about my issues with the EFT therapy.

    The Hypno-analysis therapy I do is much more than just ‘tapping’ into repressed or conscious emotional pain, and more than just relieving traumatic memories, and the therapy does not have the client tap their body. They go inside their SC mind, where things are accurate.

    The therapy I do also involves discussion and personal growth, character improvement, personal transformation of the soul, and learning to be in peace in most any situation.

    It also involves the control of selfishness, and learning to overcome the ego (we can never get rid of the ego because the ego is what gives us free will to choose right from wrong).

    There is also dream interpretation (which cannot be done by just anyone). Dream analysis is very tricky and dreams must be interpreted by both the patient and a trained, intelligent therapist –interpreted together. If a trained therapist is not involved, someone could really misinterpret a dream and cause themselves, or someone else, a lot of pain with a false accusation of abuse.

    ~Alethea

    • Alethea says:

      I thought of more aspects of the therapy I do:

      There is a “centering tape” given to client from the very beginning of therapy. The tape helps to train the subconscious mind to not react to thoughts or emotions, and it offers positive suggestions for feeling more joy and balance, as well as high frequency music.

      The therapy utilizes the breath in regressions.

      The therapy is a combination of psycho-analysis and hypno-analysis (NOT hypnosis).

      My therapist has gone through this therapy herself and rid herself of her own issues before she became a therapist.

      The therapy involves removing and changing the trauma, and allows the person to expel whatever words, feelings, rage, or ‘socially incorrect’ feelings.

      Behavior modification is used (but only after much of the trauma and emotional unbalance is removed).

      The therapy I do works with the subconscious mind by honoring it, knowing it has it’s own way of expression, and knowing it’s timing is not to our will…nor is the SC rational like the conscious mind wants it to be. The therapy is respectful of how powerful the subconscious mind is.

      She also offers a natural rejuvenation and age-control DVD which helps the client too. http://www.theseventhangel.org/natural_rejuvenation_dvd.html

  2. Mark says:

    Check out “Faster EFT” on youtube. Seriously. Hundreds of free videos on how to release and change past memories (known or not known) and get well. (It’s completely different than “EFT”)

    Just as one example — listen to this husband talk about his wife’s recovery. (His wife’s story and session are also on youtube:

    • Alethea says:

      Mark,

      I have no idea what this is all about, but the photos at http://www.fastereft.com/ give me the creeps. Anything that involves a group of people, and people touching each other and all the hugging etc. would make me want to run in the opposite direction. Any kind of so called “healing” that involves groups of people is not only suspicious, but it would mean all the energies/traumas/emotional crap/psychological issues that each person has, would filter into the other participant’s psyche…what a mess!

      This man talks like a Born Again whacko to me, not like a truly spiritual person, not like a higher conscious person who has seen a loved one truly transform and heal.

      Also, any “faster” ‘quick fix’ for health, or trauma, or deep psychological issues is a red flag.

      I would not recommend this, and would run the other way as fast as I can if I were anyone looking for true healing.

      “Getting your mind to change the way you view things” (quoting this man) DOES NOT HEAL a person’s soul. It does not get to the root cause. It does not treat the initial trauma, or the reinforcing events.

      • Alethea says:

        and if his wife is such a walking miracle, then why wasn’t SHE the one interviewed?

        • Mark says:

          Deep breath…

          If you’d take a moment to check out the channel’s main page, you’ll learn there are over 800 FREE videos that you can find folks with many different issues and/or health problems.

          You would also learn that it is something you can do by yourself at home, or wherever you want. It has nothing to do with hugging groups of people, etc..

          “…it would mean all the energies/traumas/emotional crap/psychological issues that each person has, would filter into the other participant’s psyche…what a mess!”

          Again, this has nothing to do with hugging people. Sorry if you’re offended by seeing a group of happy people expressing their ‘happiness’ with each other. How their “crap” would “filter” into the other’s psyche, I have no idea. I could say that sounds pretty ‘whacko’, but that would be unfair. I can understand where you’re coming from however, as I was just like you a few months ago…

          Also, and this is really the main reason I posted in the first place, is that it has NOTHING to do with positive affirmations. In fact, there are several videos that explain why positive affirmations are just another way of running away or escaping from dealing with the core issue(s).

          The guy’s wife not only was interviewed, but is featured in three different videos. Here’s one:

          (If you click on the “816 videos” you can see hundreds of other examples and sessions.)

          • Alethea says:

            Mark, I don’t know what you need to take a “deep breath” for. If this therapy you do is so wonderful, you would have been able to reply to me without the need to take a deep breath.

            I have no need to look into this. It would be like someone telling me, “you should try something other than Jesus. I know a better way than Jesus.”

            What I do is a miracle, and it is healing beyond any level of healing there is, and it involves personal transformation of the soul.

            If you don’t know how energies/traumas/emotional crap/psychological issues that each person has can filter into the other participant’s psyche, then you ought to study the mind, and the influences that other people’s thoughts and ego issues can have on someone’s mind. Or, just observe modern day society. Most people are not their true selves…they are instead a copy of one another…

            I will watch the video later today, but only to make an observation. I will not be checking out the website, nor do I have time to filter through hundreds of videos, or “sessions,” or information. But be ready to accept that my comments probably won’t be what you want, or need, to hear.

            ~Alethea

            • Mark says:

              The video is posted above in my last reply. I recognize what helps one person won’t necessarily help another, but I must say that to reject something without even taking a few moments to learn a little more about it, seems odd to me. I think you’d find that it indeed involves the ‘study of the mind’, and yes, in a way, how others can and do affect our psyches — just not like you described in your original reply. Best of luck on your journey.

              • Alethea says:

                Mark, why is it odd that I value my time? Why is it odd that if I already have the miracle of true healing…that I would NOT want to look elsewhere and investigate in other places for healing?

                I watched this video out of courtesy to you because you seem to be very impressed with this, and I watched so that others might learn from the video, and from my opinion, about this “faster EFT.”

                Her story sounds a lot like mine, when I first became sick, except I refused to take RX drugs.
                Here are my observations of this video, in no particular order:

                I am skeptical of anything that advertises for someone to also “become a practitioner.”

                She will never get to the root cause of her problems, and thus, she will never truly heal. Her symptoms will come back in one form or another for the rest of her life. The therapy I do frees a person from their psychological pain and physical problems forever –without having to go back and “tap” every day, or every few days…. because with when I finish my therapy, the symptoms will not return.

                She will never get to the original sensitizing event without deep hypno-analysis. She will never get to any repressed emotions or repressed traumas without deep hypno-analysis. Thus, she will never truly be free of her physical suffering and will always have relapses. She may even develop more serious problems as she gets older.

                The above is especially true for anyone who wants to “heal faster,” the in-and-out fast food type mentality…the impatient American type of mentality….the “I want it now” mentality.

                This woman has not delved into her subconscious mind, and she does not even mention it. Anyone who ignores their subconscious mind, and who does not understand the power it has over our lives, will never truly heal or change their life.

                She talked about releasing and letting go of some emotional trauma she had, and called it peace in that moment, but she then came down with a migraine the next day…THAT is the subconscious mind letting her know that it cannot be lied to, or tricked, or told it is in peace when it isn’t.

                She needed her fellow “tappers” to tell her to tap out more problems the next session she had.

                Her “instructor” tapped her and did not give her any information on how to handle her emotions after she left that first session.

                There’s really no difference between this and taking RX drugs, or having surgery, or smoking pot to make symptoms disappear, and then believing you are “healed.”

                EFT would never have helped Grace, who was sexually confused and living with a woman, and totally unhappy about it. Grace was sexually abused by her older sister as a child and needed deep hypno-analyisis to help her get out of that relationship and to heal her sexual issues with women.

                EFT will not transform a soul, or get to deep forgiveness –true forgiveness that heals a person. It will not help a person have a better consciousness, or help them to understand that true peace comes from being at peace in any situation….good or bad. That true peace comes from God and total trust in God…that true healing cannot be done WITHOUT God.

                ~Alethea

              • Mark says:

                Hi again Alethea,

                Okay. So I went to your hypnotherapist’s (or Hypnoanalysist’s) website and took the time to watch a few of her testimonial videos. It really seems to me that at least with just one watching of the videos, that indeed they are in a way similar to the work done by Robert Smith and others via faster eft.

                I know you insist that hypnosis and hypo-analysis are different, and that may indeed be true, but one thing you missed w/the eft is that it is indeed based in hypnosis.

                Also, this is just my opinion, but I think it’s quite unfair for you to say that someone else will ‘never be healed’, etc., by a treatment modality that you don’t happen to be familiar with, or that it won’t get to root issues. You don’t know that. You’re certainly entitled to your opinion, and it may be true in some cases, but the same could be said of hypno-analysis as well.

                You say that she wasn’t healed because she experienced a migraine the next day and had to do more tapping, more work. It seems to me that the hypno-analysis treatment involves more than one session, so that judgement is also unfair, or at the very least, somewhat hypocritical.

                I certainly don’t know if this type of hypnotherapy would’ve helped Grace, but I have watched a video where a woman who was raped ended up laughing about it whenever he brought it up several times later on during the session. The trauma had been released so much, that she could actually laugh about it…

                Anyway, I’ll shut up. I’m really not trying to convince you or anyone of anything. I’m not a practitioner (as you seem to be)…I just know people who have been helped and I’m starting to find some benefit from it myself.

                I just brought this up in the first place as a reply to why ‘positive thinking’ as per Louise Hay, is not effective — because it avoids dealing with the core issue or issues, which are addressed with Faster EFT, and also hypnoanalysis.

                Peace.

              • Alethea says:

                Mark,

                It is impossible to watch the testimonials from my therapist’s patients and determine that her work is in ANY way similar to EFT.

                In addition, if EFT is based in hypnosis, then it is NOT what my therapist does. As I stated, hypno-analysis is NOT hypnosis.

                No Mark, I did not say the woman in the video was not healed because she experienced a migraine the next day. I said that the migraine incident shows that you cannot cheat the subconscious mind, that the SC will retaliate.

                “I have watched a video where a woman who was raped ended up laughing about it whenever he brought it up several times later on during the session. The trauma had been released so much, that she could actually laugh about it…”

                Anyone who laughs about their childhood rape, or the rape of a child, has NOT released their trauma. They are either morally corrupt, or a liar, and not raped at all…..or, if one of their EFT instructors got them into laughing about it, then that instructor should not be near people who need help. Laughter about child rape in a person who was truly raped, would indicate that they are either morally deficient, or they are in denial…hiding their true emotions, covering up severe pain.

                My therapist is a highly reputable, well-educated, highly intelligent person, who has studied under the best teacher, and who has worked with clients for nearly 40 years. She came from a highly enlightened family, and has a rigorous adherence to the highest scientific/spiritual standards. Her accomplishments in the fields of Personal Transformation and Healing through the Mind, have awarded her the title of Dame of the Sovereign Order of Saint John of Jerusalem.

                Please do not ever compare her to some off the street person –to anyone who can just attend an EFT training course and then go ‘work on’ people who have very serious diseases and psychological problems.

                That is dangerous.

              • Mark says:

                “Anyone who laughs about their childhood rape, or the rape of a child, has NOT released their trauma. They are either morally corrupt, or a liar, and not raped at all.”

                How do you know? You’re certainly entitled to your opinion, but I find it incredibly presumptuous for you to assume that someone you don’t know hasn’t released the trauma. Anyway, I know I said this before, but I’m sure you’ll be grateful that this IS indeed my last post. No need to reply. You’re right, everyone else is wrong or some sort of scammer.

              • Alethea says:

                If you think that laughing about child rape is a sign of good health, then count yourself in as a morally deficient person, and maybe your EFT therapy is what you cling to because it is probably morally corrupt “therapy.”

                Goodbye.

    • Grace says:

      This video is disturbing…I am appalled at the number of people (including this man and his wife), who continue to have children as an attempt to patch the severe illness and physical/mental/emotional turmoil that his wife was obviously going through. I stopped watching when he said that his wife told their daughters “I’m going to be a new mommy when I come home”…again, disturbing.

      I will reinforce the thought that “getting your mind to change the way you view things” (quoting this man) DOES NOT HEAL. In fact, trying to force something to heal is actually aggravating to the subconscious. I can testify to this. “Telling myself” to be positive and heal not only didn’t work, it made me feel a deep sense of failure and further turmoil. Healing does not work if it is not done thoroughly (think trimming the top of a weed vs. de-rooting a weed). Only those who have de-rooted know the difference…

      • Mark says:

        Well, with all due respect, you’re misinterpreting the entire thing, especially the meaning behind being “a new mommy to her kids”, but so what else is new here. If you find that “disturbing”, that’s really, really sad, and ironically disturbing on your part. What a bizarre reaction to someone’s profound happiness that they’re feeling so much better…

        No one is ‘forcing’ anything to happen. And as I said above, my entire point of posting these links was to agree — AGREE — that positive thinking does not work (as you say), and in fact makes things worse. That is not what they’re doing with ‘faster eft’, but if you can’t see that, then…whatever.

        The concept of ‘de-rooting’ is something that is discussed in probably more than half of the 800+ videos posted on the channel. But you both wouldn’t know that because you’ve defensively jumped to your own erroneous conclusions before even giving it a chance.

        • Alethea says:

          Another interesting note on laughing about child rape:

          I personally know a couple whose two year-old son was brutally raped and then beaten and murdered. I don’t see them around town much anymore as this happened last year. Yesterday, as I wrote about how sick it is to laugh about being raped as a child, I thought of these people and their beautiful little dead boy.

          Yesterday, I saw them in town. I have not seen them in 6 months. There are NO coincidences.

          When I was in their presence, I was even more aware of my feelings about laughing about child rape because I knew that if someone had a video tape of the rape and murder of their little boy, there would be nothing to find funny about the violence, forcible sodomy, beating, and death of a child.

          Anyone who laughs at their own childhood rape is essentially laughing at the rape of all children who have experienced it, and it tells child rapists, “child rape is no big deal, I am laughing about it now.”

          And laughing about child rape is no different from laughing about child murder.

          • Mark says:

            Alethea, once again you’re putting words in other people’s mouths, and misinterpreting the entire situation.

            Nowhere in my original post did I say this woman was laughing about ‘childhood rape’. Nowhere. You’re the one who changed it to childhood rape, not me.

            She was able to laugh about her own trauma of being raped, not anyone else’s. Get that? Is that difficult for you to understand? She was able to release the trauma of HER OWN EXPERIENCE so much, that she was able to smile and even laugh about it.

            To twist her words into suggesting she’s laughing at anyone else’s rape, let alone a child’s, is extremely presumptuous and unfair of you, and suggests you’re projecting your own belief system on a total stranger who you have never discussed this with.

            Do you accuse your friends of saying things they’ve never said, or believing things they don’t believe? If so, I’d bring that up with your hypno-analysist.

            • Alethea says:

              Mark, you need to take responsibility in my “misinterpreting the entire situation.” You did not correct me until now that it was adult rape. This is a Blog about CHILD sexual abuse and CHILD rape. You can see how my mind would go there.

              I did wonder if you were talking about adult rape, but when you did not correct me in your last comments to me, I did not think so. Be more clear when you comment.

              Nevertheless, everything I said about child rape stands. If you are talking about adult rape, then I would say that I still find it questionable for someone to laugh about it, and for that to be considered “healed.” Maybe if you post the video you are speaking of, then we can look at it in context.

              “She was able to laugh about her own trauma of being raped,…”

              Laughing about one’s own trauma is still quite strange to me. Something does not ring right about this woman.

              I think that you ought to seek out help for your anger, and your need to be heard, (your need to get the results you desire).

              “Do you accuse your friends of saying things they’ve never said, or believing things they don’t believe? If so, I’d bring that up with your hypno-analysist.”

              You have taken this to a personal level. You need to find out what it is inside you that is creating such irritation and anger towards me.

              I know that the therapy Grace and I do can help you. I do not know about this EFT, but maybe the EFT is more up your alley. Grace and I do something much deeper and more powerful, and much more transformative and spiritual.

              You seem more geared towards superficial treatment, fast treatment, “feelgoodism,” and people-pleasing.

              That’s not what my therapist is about.

              • Mark says:

                Thank your for your first rather calm reply. Yes, I was getting more upset as this went on, because of the way you and Grace were misinterpreting everything, and I thought that was unfair to the people involved.

                Perhaps I should have corrected you earlier, but it wasn’t until this morning that I realized that I didn’t catch the mistake in your reply categorizing the woman’s experience as child rape.

                I’ll be the first to admit that yes, I do have some issues with anger, and with taking things too personally, and am working on those, but it’s funny (not literally!) that you should bring this up, as I was going to suggest the same thing to you! It might not be true, but it certainly seems like you have a lot of anger issues, and take things too personally yourself. It also seems like there are a lot of issues you haven’t resolved (just as one example, your reaction to a photo of people gave you the creeps (“Anything that involves a group of people, and people touching each other and all the hugging etc. would make me want to run in the opposite direction.”), but that’s just my take. Just my silly opinion.

                I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on certain issues. Best of luck going forward. It’s been interesting, to say the least. 🙂

              • Alethea says:

                Mark,

                Child rape IS very personal to me, as I was violently raped at age age seven, after being dragged out of a shower, and was severely held down and had blunt trauma to my head during the rape.

                child rape IS very personal to me, as I intend on trying to minimize it.

                My therapist and the therapy I do ARE very personal to me, as she is a highly enlightened being, who has an excellent reputation and has helped a tremendous amount of people to heal from terrible physical and psychological suffering. The therapy is a high honor. That is all I will say.

                As far as my being ‘creeped out’ by a bunch of people touching one another, I would say that it is you who might need therapy to overcome your need for people-pleasing, and human to human contact as a means to find peace or acceptance. You might think that my desire to keep my body from the energies of strangers, and to not allow strangers touch me with regards to my personal healing is strange…but I think people who find that kind of thing desirable to be psychologically odd, and unaware.

      • Alethea says:

        “I’m going to be a new mommy when I come home”

        This could be very disturbing to a young child, whose mind is simple, and not complicated like an adult mind.

        • Mark says:

          Her kids were overjoyed when they heard that, as was her husband. OVERJOYED. As in HAPPY, because they had known how sick their mother had been for years.

          Please stop projecting your own issues on other people. Maybe your hypno-analyst could help you with this obvious pattern you have.

          • Alethea says:

            Mark,

            Grace knows because the therapy we do allows us to enter childhood events, from the mind of the child we once were. We are able to remember the exact feelings and thoughts that we had when we were children, and those feelings are often NOT what adults think they are, or what adults want to believe those feelings would be.

            Please stop taking all this so personally.

  3. I agree with this article and I’m grateful you posted on this topic, Alethea. I have had a very deep learning experience related to this recently.

    I had a particularly difficult autumn of 2013, shrouded in obscurity and confusion. I spoke to many people who said “stay positive” and who advised me to “not allow this to enter your life, to control your life”. I would try to tell myself not to allow things to control my life, to remain in control, etc…but when immersed in a situation I always felt a loss of control. The old habits and things I had not healed of yet were still influential. Granted, they were less and less powerful than two years ago, but I was not 100% free of them yet. This was very frustrating for me. I did indeed ask “what’s wrong with me?!” on multiple occasions and started to feel self-hatred because I didn’t feel strong enough! In this regard, positive affirmations or “will power” was not working on a conscious level.

    That being said, through therapy I realized that there was always an underlying “positive affirmation” carrying me through my life, it was the voice that said to keep going, not give up, and continue on the path of healing through a powerful and sacred therapy with Dr. Ysatis de Saint-Simone. So…it’s a bit hard to explain, but “telling myself” things was NOT working, but there was a deep current that pushed me to keep going. This is related to you, Alethea, when you say that even when you turned away from God for 25 years, you still has miracles and blessings bestowed on your life. Gifts in their purest form.

    In all, I agree that “positive affirmations” can be a way of trying to convince oneself, in vain, that “everything is ok – just buck up!”. This did not work for me, and I do not believe it works for anyone. To truly heal and be free from those things that “take control” in our dark moments is a process, like peeling the layers off an onion! I’m not sure how else to embark on this process, but for me, it was through Dr. de Saint-Simone’s therapy. On the flip side, I won’t underestimate the power of gratitude and positive thoughts (because our thoughts are really our reality). In order for the notion of “positive affirmations” to work, one has to get themselves to the place inside where they can FEEL and truly experience the thoughts/feelings/gratitude they are trying to put in their minds. By just telling themselves “think positive”, it’s superficial and in my experience, a waste of precious time.

    I hope everyone who contributes and reads this blog has a beautiful New Year of 2014, full of lightness of being and Love!!!

    • Alethea says:

      Dear Grace,

      Joyous New Year to you…

      I am happy this article resounded with you. I wrote it because the positive thinking/affirmations is a big thing right now, but it’s so superficial.

      “Stay positive” is such a meaningless piece of ‘”advice” when given to someone who has been emotionally, and or, physically traumatized as a child. It’s like telling a computer not to be affected by a computer virus. The human brain is like a biological computer, and when damaged, it cannot be repaired by positivity.

      The therapy we have with Dr. Ysatis de Saint-Simone IS powerful and Sacred….

      “Positive affirmations” are not only a way of trying to convince oneself, in vain, that “everything is okay,” but when someone’s world collapses from a death, or from being fired, or from a natural disaster….those positive affirmations do nothing. They will not give a person inner peace. They only make the person lie to themselves.

      Gratitude and loving thoughts work to bring us out of selfishness, but unless someone works with their underlying subconscious issues, then they will re-create trauma, money issues, relationship problems etc. over and over and over until they listen to their subconscious and deal with the energies creating those repeated patters.

      Love and peace to you dear Grace.

      • Little Nel says:

        “The therapy we have with Dr. Ysatis de Saint-Simone IS powerful and Sacred…”

        I agree, Alethea.

        One of the most significant things that I noticed was that the anxiety I used to feel when I went to bed is gone. I feared waking up at 3:00 by nightmares. I would have flashbacks of the clock at the county home that was located inside the matron’s station that indicated that it was 3 AM. It was my first indication of an anxiety fueled restlessness that plagued me for decades.

        That fear of waking up in a panic thinking that someone may enter my room and drag me out of bed to hurt me is now gone.

        • Alethea says:

          LN, I am grateful to God that the therapy has helped you in such ways.

          I used to wake at exactly 3:00 a.m. for YEARS, and then suffer insomnia for at least two hours. That pattern went on until I began the therapy with Ysatis and began working on myself and my issues. It was tied to things done to me in the middle of the night.

  4. DJuanan Flowers says:

    Of all the pieces you have written, that I have read, this is my favorite. I am relieved to hear that you know from where we receive all beauty and healing. Or maybe I am relieved to know that your faith agrees with mine. Either way, I feel more confident about your guidance and “authority” to speak of recovery and the journey we all take in this life. Thank you. I feel myself moving closer to at least trying to remember, but who to trust with that task is beyond me. Wanting to remember … I don’t, not really.

    • Alethea says:

      Dear Djuanan,

      The guidance I give, and the experience I speak from, is offered in truth and with a desire to help others. I am grateful if it helps you in any way. It is usually best to surrender, and allow your soul to give you what you need in its own timing. Don’t “try” to remember anything. Surrender, go about your life, and allow anything that you need to deal with, to come out in its own natural way.

      Peace,
      Alethea

  5. mglvsjc says:

    I think that positive thoughts…well basing you life and health on them is kinda hooey. Even scripture on this can challenging for those of us who have very little memory of CSA and still have a backlog of pain stored in the sub-conscious. I want to be whole and happy…but the bad stuff is still inside. How do you heal if you are keeping yourself in LA LA land.? The TRUTH sets us free. But this scripture supports the positive thinking…If there is true faith….Phil 4-6-12 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you… This I love but will be easier after more healing. I have tried positive affirmations..the 4 year old in me didn’t buy it. To me maybe this works on the surface….but that’s not where the pain is. My lack of memory’s is probably God guarding my heart!

  6. Little Nel says:

    “Even when I did not believe in God for 25 years, I was Graced with incredible things, including a good man, and many miracles.”

    I can relate.

    I became agnostic after my trauma in the county home because I didn’t think that God had rescued me from my abusers. Like you, I still benefitted by the Grace of God. Unknown to me, God had honored little Nel’s deepest desire for justice, created by, my lack of power to stop my abusers and render them remorseful for their cruel violations of me and other children.

    I didn’t marry until I was 33, but I remember praying that God would make me the “right person” for someone else. He did it and I met and married my husband. It has been good.

    When I see other people out there still hurting and unhealed, I think, but by the Grace of God, go I.

    I agree, about Dr. Saint-Simone. It was a “God thing” that I found you and her.

    • Alethea says:

      It’s true Little Nel. Ysatis has healed me, and you, from many many physical ailments that doctors say have no cure, or are treated with RX drugs. Anything that is NOT of GOD, cannot heal those things. It is only with God that those things could be healed without drugs or surgery.

      ‘By their fruits you will know them.’ The fruits of Dr. De Saint Simone are derived from God.

      But anyone who is reading this, and considering the therapy with her, should know that a belief in God is not necessary to heal trauma and pain with the therapy, or to have the therapy with her. The ‘belief’ comes naturally as a person begins to see the changes and heal from their problems. God is like the Sun. God shines for everyone.

  7. Little Nel says:

    Wow, Alethea, love this post!

    I remember as a young adult reading some material about positive affirmations after a counselor gave me the information. I was suffering from depression after the “past life karma” cure failed.

    I remember looking into the mirror with a photo of myself as a child taped in the middle of the mirror as directed by the counselor and reading aloud positive affirmations, then telling the photo of “little Nel” that I was going to take care of her and “re-parent” her. I was told to talk to my little girl sand tell how much I loved her, but it was a lie and I knew it. I didn’t love little Nel, but I was attempting to “fake it, until I make it.”

    It didn’t work for me. Yes, I asked myself, “What’s wrong with me?” I thought that I was so damaged that there was no cure for someone like me, but my pain was so intense that I kept on searching for an answer/cure. I was so desperate and needy.

    Years later, I became acquainted with the Gospel of Jesus Christ and it changed my life so profoundly that my friends wondered what had happened to me. My healing and recovery journey began with my conversion to Christianity.

    I prayed for a scripture from God custom fitted for me and I got one.

    “God, heal me according to your word that I may not be ASHAMED of the hope I have in you.”
    Prb.119

    The words, THAT I MAY NOT BE ASHAMED, never really clicked in my brain until I realized that I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. The “shame” was stalking me and mocking me but I didn’t even know it.

    • DJuanan Flowers says:

      Lovely testimony Nell. I appreciate the scripture reference very much. I think I am more afraid of feeling Shame, than anything else.

    • Alethea says:

      The Louise Hay method has a lot of self-love, self-gain, and self-gratification attached to it. “Me first” seems to be a big theme to her teachings. “Me first” will never truly heal anyone. In fact, their soul will go downwards with that attitude.

  8. Jess says:

    Althea,
    I get the concept of loving ones self and how it’s important for healing but I agree with you that whenever I have tried positive affirmations I have only become angrier and thought there was something wrong with me. This happens when people tell me to just relax too because I find that triggering…something that was said to me over and over again in the abuse, so when I try meditation and start to relax I tense up to an even more extreme sense than before! I don’t know whether this is all because I’m just “not doing it right” or what but I find that doing things I enjoy and accepting and naming my feelings works much better in letting me release my stress even just a bit of it. I once had a therapist tell me to leave all my problems and memories in her office for the week and instead of thinking about them to find joy in my week instead. I can’t tell you how invalidating that felt.

    • Alethea says:

      Jess,

      Trying yoga, meditation, massages etc. etc. can trigger a sexual abuse survivor into some pretty heavy issues if they are not working with their subconscious mind too.

      • Jess says:

        That makes a lot of sense.

        • Alethea says:

          Jess, I should have elaborated. Prior to remembering any sexual abuse, I was suffering from an inability to urinate properly, and I had to go to the bathroom fifty times a day, and was drinking very little water so I would not fill my bladder too much. It was a horrible time of my life. Doctors at UCLA found nothing wrong with me.

          Someone told me to get a massage. I hated the idea, but did it anyway. It was the worst experience. She came way to close to my private areas and I did not protest because i was a people-pleaser back then and did not want to make HER uncomfortable by saying something. My bladder was ten times worse after that massage…..for two reasons: I did not speak up for myself, and she unknowingly triggered the female sexual abuse that was perpetrated on me.

          When I first began to do Yoga, the video I got was an Elle McPherson yoga video (I had remembered the female sexual abuse by then, but was uncomfortable doing yoga in a studio with a bunch of women). The at-home video showed Elle McPherson in several poses with her legs spread wide open for the camera. I experienced a lot of physical problems after that moment. I had no idea those images would be in the video.

          The first time i tried a group meditation at writing class, I saw the image of my father with a knife (because I was writing about the incest by that time, and telling family secrets to the writing class).

          These are just examples of what can happen.

          • Jess says:

            Hi Althea,

            Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply back, I’ve just been feeling awful lately due to therapy work. But I wanted to write and say your clarification made a lot of sense to me. I too hate massages because the touching (Especially while lying down and under a blanket) feels really triggering to me. So I avoid it. And I have tried acupuncture but it just made me more tense and anxious.

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