Child Sexual Abuse by a Same-Sex Sibling Is Not a Game or “Normal Exploration”


Warning….triggering material…

Lena Dunham, is a 28 year-old American actress, screenwriter, producer, and director who wrote and directed the independent film Tiny Furniture (2010), and is the writer, creator, and star of the HBO series Girls (which I have never seen or heard of).

Dunham has written a book called Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s “Learned.” In the book, published in September, Dunham goes into disturbing detail about acting out -sexually- on her younger sister.

Lena Dunham

Lena Dunham

Reports about the book reveal that when Dunham was age seven, she wondered if her then, one year- old sister’s, vagina looked like Lena’s.

Lena writes in her book that her “curiosity” got to her, and she went to her little sister, and “carefully spread open her vagina. She didn’t resist and when I saw what was inside I shrieked.”

Lena says she found six or seven pebbles stuffed inside her sister’s vagina.

One of my readers pointed out that one year-olds do not put pebbles in their vaginas. Although I have never had children, and do not know anything about their behaviors in this regard, I also feel Lena may have put those pebbles in her sister’s vagina.

The press is also reporting that Dunham wrote of masturbating in bed right next to her younger sister, and that she bribed her little sister with pieces of candy to allow the younger child to be kissed on the lips for five seconds.

Slate Magazine is reporting that Lena was at least 13 years old when she masturbated next to her little sister, who would have been about seven at the time. This is not okay! This is depraved behavior put onto a smaller child, and given the fact that Dunham bribed her little sister to kiss her at an earlier age, there is a strong chance Lena masturbated next to her sleeping sister for Lena’s sexual stimulation.

At the very least, it crosses serious boundaries with the younger child.

Dunham wrote that she would try to get her little sister to “relax on her” in front of the TV set, and would sneak into her sister’s room to listen to her breathe.

The National Review is calling her memories “child molestation.” I agree.

Even Dunham herself seems to admit it in her book. In a possible Freudian slip, she said that her acts upon her sister were “basically anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl.” This is an admission -be it conscious, or unconscious- this is an indirect direct admission that what she was doing was not okay.

Lena knows inside herself that it was not okay.

The entire account of her writings disturbed me from the beginning –especially the bribe for kissing her sister on the lips, trying to get her sister to lay on her, and Dunham masturbating next to her little sister.

As a person who has experienced sexual abuse by both sexes, and at an extremely young age, I believe this was child sexual abuse, and possibly even contributed to the victim becoming a lesbian.

From her book

Passage from Dunham’s book

According to Vanity Fair, while receiving the Point Foundation’s Horizon Award for her advocacy work for gay rights, Dunham talked openly about her lesbian sister, Grace, in her acceptance speech:

“It was actually a huge disappointment for me, when I came of age and realized that I was sexually attracted to men,” Dunham quipped. “So when my sister came out, I thought, ‘Thank God, someone in this family can truly represent my passions and beliefs.'”

Dunham is also being quoted as saying, “My sister’s process of coming to terms with her sexuality was as angst-free as anything involving sex can really be. She was assured by the adults in her life that she was not only accepted, but adored for who she is.”

Dunham was angry when she was called a child molester by some of the right-wing news media. She tweeted that it was “fucking upsetting and disgusting.”

I am neither right-wing, nor left-wing, nor the mainstream media, and I also feel it was child sexual abuse. I think it is upsetting and disgusting when an older sibling bribes a vulnerable child to be able to kiss them on the lips, pries open their vagina, and who masturbates next to that child –especially if the older sibling is a teenager when she does it.

In my opinion, Dunham was sexually abusive to her sister, and possibly directly contributed to Grace’s lesbianism. This is my opinion, based on my experience with sexual abuse by a person of the same sex, and based on this compelling story: the-story-of-grace

Our childhood experiences with being sexually stimulated can create confusing physiological feelings in our mind and body, and a person can then become confused as an adult.

Dunham says she obtained her sister’s permission to disclose the acts in her book, but I find it disturbingly gross that she published it, and that her sister allowed it to be published is equally disturbing to me.  It wasn’t written in order to help victims of child sexual abuse. So was it written, and permitted to be written by Grace, in order for it to be titillating? Or was it for a good laugh?

I was not laughing when I read it. I was sickened by the words, and the images of those words, because it brought back my own abuse, and Dunham’s account of what she did was considered ‘no big deal.’ This is what nearly all perpetrators tell themselves about what they do to the innocent child that they involve in their acts.

The famous producer has gone public with this, in detail, and almost proudly. She didn’t do it to help victims of child sexual abuse, or to make people aware that female siblings sometimes sexually abuse their younger, almost infant, siblings.

Did Dunham want to write a TV show celebrating this kind of behavior? What exactly was the reason behind this information being brought out?

It has been reported that when Dunham discovered she was straight, and not gay, she was disturbed. This is very telling of the times we live in –the immoral is uplifted as good, the abnormal is celebrated and embraced, and the molestation (in my opinion) of Lena’s sister is written about as casually as talking about children playing dress-up together.

In my opinion, Lena Dunham has issues, and I hope she addresses them. One thing she needs to do, is to further educate herself on sibling sexual abuse, and the serious affects it can have on a person –especially same-sex sibling abuse.

Lena’s sister might very well have been confused in her mind about who she truly is sexually, but will never explore that possibility as long as gay and lesbianism is celebrated as normal and natural, and something people should try -or that if they are straight- there is something ‘wrong with them.’

Please do not write me and tell me I am a “homo-phobe,” or judgmental, or self-righteous, or whatever other derogatory label you wish to place on me. I have heard it all before, and it truly does not interest me.

What interests me is the psychological and physical safety, and well-being of children –not the corruption and confusion of the adult world.

Please read the story of another woman named Grace, who shows us that child sexual abuse by a sibling can and does create sexual confusion in the victim.


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8 Responses to Child Sexual Abuse by a Same-Sex Sibling Is Not a Game or “Normal Exploration”

  1. Okay, I am a HUGE fan of Lena Dunham’s show “Girls”. I have been since the very first episode. She’s so quirky, unique and smart, especially to be where she is at her age! So, I went into reading this almost defensively because…. well, it was on this blog! I figured it was going to be bad, but maybe she was just misunderstood.

    Right away I was shocked when I read the part where she found the pebbles. I have four kids and if my one year old was ever out of my sight they were in their beds or a playpen. They’re still babies who very clumsily pick things up & always put things in their mouths! And where would she even get a pebble, let alone a few? A one year old baby doesn’t have the attention span or the fine motor skills to do this. But, a seven year old sure does. I agree with the others, I think Lena did it. She has probably laughed with her sister about it growing up & her sister actually believed that Lena just “found” them. That is very disturbing. I also agree Lena was probably sexualized at a young age and acted out on her sister.

    I don’t understand how she didn’t end up feeling guilty at some point in her life about the things she admitted to in her book. I bet there is probably more, also.

    I guess it explains how she is so comfortable with her body on her show! Maybe their household growing up was just very perverse? Her nudity in the show is extremely awkward at best… you almost feel sorry for her character.

    I’m very disturbed with what I read, and how she defends it. Do not like her at all after this!!! You said it best when you said she wasn’t writing the book in a remorseful way to help others… she is mocking the abuse for laughs and money.

    • Alethea says:

      LS, nothing makes me happier when someone, who likes a person or likes their show, is willing to read the truth and not be tainted by their personal feelings.

      You are awesome to see without blinders.

      Thank you for being so honest.


    • Red says:

      Her household was a very strange place, from what I can tell. Both of her parents, Laurie Simmons and Carroll Dunham, are artists and in their work they seem to have been inordinately obsessed with the female sex organs.

  2. mglvsjc says:

    Horrible. I hope her sister seeks counseling. Lena needs to look into her childhood too. Seems like her vagina may have been explored at some point too. Sickening to crush a child’s soul and actually brag about it.

  3. mary says:

    One year old’s do not place rocks in their genitals. One year olds also cannot give any kind of semblance of sexual consent. Lena Dunham is a deranged female and I find it hard to believe that her sister willingly and gave 100% consent to publish this account.

    • Alethea says:

      Mary, I slept on my article last night and thought about it in the middle of the night. I realized that I bet Lena put those rocks in her sisters vagina. I also feel she is STILL obsessed with her little sister’s vagina and she needs help. I would not allow this woman around any children, that’s for sure.

      • mary says:

        I feel as if her younger sister, Grace (who spoke out for Lena) from a young age has been manipulated by her older sister and to this day Grace life is still being used to push Lena’s selfish agenda. This statement reveals it:

        “So when my sister came out, I thought, ‘Thank God, someone in this family can truly represent my passions and beliefs.’”

        Lena Dunham, your sister is more than just a “representation of your passions and beliefs.” She is a human being with boundaries (that obviously were not respected from a young age) and a life and voice of her own, who is perfectly capable of exercising it without your help.

        Grace Dunham tweeted this:
        “2day, like every other day, is a good day to think about how we police the sexualities of young women, queer, and trans people.

        As a queer person: i’m committed to people narrating their own experiences, determining for themselves what has and has not been harmful.”

        The funny thing is the narration she is defending is not even her own, but her sister’s. If I had a one year old daughter and the 7 year old boy next door put rocks in her genitals and was being manipulated by him in the same way Lena had described manipulating her sister, and my child told me “It’s okay, I enjoy it” There is no way a nincompoop of a child psychologist or even the child herself could convince me that what has occurred was “okay” or “not harmful.” Sexual abusers are talented at convincing their victims to not only enjoy the abuse but convince them that what they’re doing its “okay”. The boundaries have to be drawn and people like Lena Dunham (and her whole family apparently) don’t believe in them and want every body else to accept their degeneracy as “normal”.

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