Lena Dunham: It’s Worse Than You Think

Slate Magazine is reporting that Lena was at least 13 years old when she masturbated next to her little sister, who would have been about six or seven at the time. This is depraved behavior, and given the fact that it is reported that Dunham describes in her book that she bribed her little sister to kiss her on the lips when the child was only age one, and that she tried to trick the child into kisses and used bribes to get the child to “relax on her” and was so curious about the child’s vagina… there is a good chance Lena masturbated next to her sister because she was sexually stimulated by the younger child.

Slate Magazine is quoting a psychologist, Ritch Savin-Williams, as saying, “Children have been doing this stuff forever and ever and ever and ever, and they will do it forever and ever and ever.”


“According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, touching and looking at new sibling’s genitals is a “normal, common” behavior in kids ages 2 to 6. (Yes, Dunham was apparently 7 when it happened, but still.) This was happening between sisters, too, which is important. It’s not necessarily OK for a child to play sexually with a younger child if he or she don’t typically play together, but among siblings or close friends it can be different. Sexual play often arises naturally out of pretend play, in part because, psychologists have theorized, friends and siblings become curious about each other’s body parts.

….Then there is Dunham’s admission that she bribed her sister to kiss her on the lips for five seconds. Yes, it’s coercive—but is it harmful? “It sounds, from what Dunham is writing, that it’s just playful activity. One would seriously have to question that harm was done,” Savin-Williams says. And again, this kind of play is extremely common. In one study, researchers at Bryn Mawr College found that nearly one-third of women claimed to having been coerced into playing sexual games as children, and that most of the time, these games seemed perfectly normal.

Ritch Savin-Williams is wrong.

It is NOT “sexual play” or “games” when there is coercion, when the older sibling is dramatically older, and when the child is being tricked and masturbated next to.

It can be highly disturbing for the younger child when they are tricked, lured, or coerced.

In Lena Dunham’s case, she might even have created sexual identity issues in her younger sister, and caused her sister to now think she is a lesbian.

This can and does happen to children: Read one woman’s story here.

Same-sex sibling sexual abuse has the ability to create serious physical and emotional problems in the person who was abused.

The child who is subservient to the older sibling, can easily take on guilt, and feel responsible, in the sexual activity because the younger child is more inclined to do it in order to be accepted by their older peer, or to be brought into the magical world of the older sibling.

There can also come a time in the sexual activity (abuse) by the older sibling when the older sibling grows tired of the younger child and begins to date, or find new friends and activities that can leave the younger child feeling insignificant and very hurt that the sexual interaction (abuse by an older sibling) has ended. The self-worth of a child is extremely fragile, and the emotional abandonment can be very heavy on the younger child.

It is often the subtleties of sibling sexual abuse that experts miss, and mental health experts, who do not work with the subconscious mind, cannot possibly know the true emotions and thoughts of the child being sexually manipulated by their sibling.

What if Lena Dunham’s case were an older teenage boy who masturbated next to his little sister, and that same boy had admitted to being curious about his little sister’s vagina and wanted her to lay on him, and had bribed his sister into kissing him on the lips. What if this were the scenario? Would these experts be singing a different tune?

Why is it, that women are allowed to get away with this kind of behavior merely because they are women? Why do mental health “experts,” friends, and loved ones excuse the behavior of young Dunham just because the acts involved two females, and not an older male sibling with his little sister? Why does the majority of the news media excuse Dunham when she has gone public with some pretty serious things.

Slate Magazine says: “in no way does what Dunham describe come close to the criminal-justice definition of sibling sexual abuse, which is “forcible rape, forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling.”

Child sexual abuse does not have to include physical force! Gentle fondling, kissing, lying next to a child for the purposes of sexual gratification, and psychological tricks on the younger child is still sexual abuse.

I certainly do not feel she ought to be prosecuted, that would be ridiculous and unhelpful. But when an older sister manipulates, and tricks, a younger child into sexual acts, and when a teenage girl masturbates next to that same child, it can have major affects on the younger child, and on their sexuality.

In my opinion, Lena’s sister, Grace, might have become sexually attracted to women as an adult, and became a lesbian because her body might have been sexually stimulated at a very young age by Lena. Or possibly, Grace wanted to subconsciously please her older sister by becoming a lesbian. The psychodynamics are different for each person, so no one truly knows why they behave certain ways, and why they develop certain desires, sex-drives, or needs, unless they penetrate their own subconscious mind.

Most people have not been taught the powers of the subconscious mind. People have not been told that life experience as children -even seemingly harmless experiences- can alter our perceptions of our true selves.

Lena’s sister Grace also lives in a society where homosexuality is uplifted as normal, and straight people are nearly made out to be abnormal, or you aren’t “hip” or you are “judgmental” and “closed-minded” if you don’t accept homosexuality as normal, so of course it is much easier for a person to embrace lesbianism in the times we live.

The Huffington Post is reporting this apology given by Lena Dunham:

“Childhood sexual abuse is a life-shattering event for so many, and I have been vocal about the rights of survivors. If the situations described in my book have been painful or triggering for people to read, I am sorry, as that was never my intention. I am also aware that the comic use of the term “sexual predator” was insensitive, and I’m sorry for that as well. As for my sibling, Grace, she is my best friend, and anything I have written about her has been published with her approval.”

What was Dunham’s intention exactly? Where are her morals, dignity, and principles? What was her reasoning to write this in her book? Was it a cry for help, or to titillate readers? Or to sell books, or to normalize such things in the mind of society?

Same-sex child sexual abuse can create very heavy problems on a child.



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12 Responses to Lena Dunham: It’s Worse Than You Think

  1. Grace says:

    I find it strange that no one is asking why Lena was so curious and behaving so strangely. None of what she describes with her sister sounds normal childish or playful to me but rather learned abusive behavior that she was re enacting. Perhaps she doesn’t even remember where she learned it? The only people writing this off as normal are those with something to gain by normalizing abuse and child sexuality (oxymoron) and that should be obvious. I just found your blog here and it is amazing thank you for writing

  2. Gigi says:

    A year ago Lena posted pictures of a 5 year old Grace in make up an fake breast entitled hells angels sex property ;

    • Alethea says:

      Thank you Gigi. This was valuable information.

    • Red says:

      The one that I found really disturbing and triggering, though, was the one in which she treated her sister “like the campus bicycle” and forced her into a submissive position on a bed from behind while someone took an Instagram. I don’t have the link for that one, unfortunately, but I’m sure it can be dug up.

      • Red says:

        Just to be clear, that was posted to Dunham’s Twitter account.

        I don’t even like writing about it.

        • Red says:

          Bingo. Dug it up.


          Here is the Instagram link. Be forewarned that this may be triggering as all hell.

          • Red says:

            Actually, can I get that deleted or redacted? I just wanted to post the link. The actual picture disturbs me so much I didn’t want to post it in full right here. I have next to no familiarity with Instagram and just thought the HTML address would show up in the comment so only people who were willing to click would see it. Sorry.

            • Alethea says:

              Dear Red,

              I am BEYOND grateful that you took the time to find that disturbing photo. I do not know which is worse, the photo of Grace Dunham at age five, or the one of Lena humping the girl? How old was Grace when she was being humped by Lena? Do we know?

              I have submitted that photo as a tip to a huge online news organization, and will write about it here on my Blog.

              This is very serious business! This woman needs to be stopped.

              • Red says:

                Thank you, Alethea. I don’t know how old either of them was. Even if Lena didn’t actually “hump” her, this is boundary-violating behavior disguised as affection and made “okay” by the fact that they are related. This is unfortunately the kind of thing that people write off as “no big deal” sometimes and ignore. Nice strategy for the abuser.

                Someone commenting on the National Review article on Dunham’s book left a collection of the most disturbing Dunham-sister tweets and this was among them. Here is the link to the comment. https://disqus.com/home/discussion/nationalreview/pathetic_privilege_40/#comment-1677846300

                I don’t consider myself left or right politically, btw, I just found the article because I was curious about this controversy.

  3. KevinF says:

    Good post, Alethea. It shows another aspect of how sexual abuse/molestation carried out by girls and women is trivialised and downplayed compared to the exact same behaviours and acts carried out by men.
    I wonder why this woman thought it was ok and acceptable to go public about her behaviour. Maybe it’s a reflection of the trend in the media in the last decade or so to applaud any kind of female assertion/aggression or experimentation in the sexual area and laud it as ‘female empowerment’. Reference ‘Sex and the City’, ‘Cougar Town’ and of course Kate Perry’s recent release ‘I kissed a girl’ as examples.
    ‘Female empowerment’ has lots of good aspects but it often tends to be used as a convenient cover for all sorts of selfishness, aggression and bad behaviour.
    I think I’d be looking too at this woman’s family and especially her mother, for sources and signs of abuse and dysfunction.
    And I’ve never heard of babies putting pebbles/stones inside themselves.

  4. The whole world has lost it’s mind and morals. It is bad enough that these things happen, but worse to use them for monetary gain.

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