Open Letter To RAINN: You Owe An Apology To All Rape and Incest Victims

This letter will be circulated, shared, posted, Tweeted, emailed, and otherwise distributed to every known social media outlet, news organization, rape and abuse organization, and any other media source, individual person, or organization I can think of until RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) has publicly apologized to all rape, child sexual abuse and incest victims.

–Not an apology for ‘having offended’ some people. An apology for having encouraged a self-admitted child molester -Lena Dunham- and for praising Ms. Dunham when she called her consensual sex experience in college, “rape.”

Please join me in sending a copy of this letter to RAINN, with your signature, and or, please call or email RAINN immediately to voice your shared concern.

WARNING to my readers: triggering, explicit words about two adults having consensual sex. But please read the letter….

Alethea Marina-Nova

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

Chelsea Bowers, Director of Development

1220 L Street, NW
Suite 505
Washington, DC 20005

December 22, 2014

Re: RAINN’s public support of Lena Dunham

Dear Ms. Bowers,

When Lena Dunham’s book, Not That Kind of Girl was first released, which included Ms. Dunham’s claims of being raped in college, I had not yet read her account of the “rape.”

When it became public knowledge that Ms. Dunham was investigated for suspicion of libel against the man she describes as her “attacker” in her book, I was more concerned about Lena Dunham, now a grown woman, writing about perpetrating Child on Child incest (1.), in full detail, without an ounce of shame, and using words that can be found in the mind of any sexual predator of children.

Indeed, Lena Dunham has herself, described what she did to her little sister -who was seven years her junior- as “anything a sexual predator might do.”

Recently, after Random House, the publisher of Ms. Dunham’s book, decided to alter the book in fear of a libel suit by the man Ms. Dunham says “raped” her, and as Ms. Dunham began to call herself a ‘rape survivor’ and spoke publicly about shame and trauma –as well as calling herself a spokesperson for other victims to be able to ‘come out and tell their stories,’…. I began to investigate this “rape.”

My curiosity was sparked by the countless people posting thousands of comments at online news articles, repeatedly stating that Ms. Dunham was calling consensual sex “rape.”

–In addition, being that I was raped as a small child by my father, and sexually molested by my much older sister, I was disturbed by any person’s attempt at reducing rape -which is traumatic, terrifying, and done without the consent of the victim- reducing it to two adults, willingly engaging in sexual acts together.

My investigation into this claim of Lena Dunham’s “rape” has unfortunately brought me into a state of alarm, and dismay over RAINN’s support of Lena Dunham.

Lena Dunham was NOT raped. Lena Dunham had a consensual sexual encounter with a man in college, and she wrote about it in disgusting detail, calling it “fucking” and she herself provided the condom, and was a consenting sexual partner.

Here is Ms. Dunham’s account of that night:

Ms. Dunham, after drinking two beers, taking half a Xanax, and snorting a small amount of cocaine earlier that evening, runs into this man called “Barry”(whom she somewhat knows from college).

Shortly afterwards, Dunham tells Barry that she has “to pee” and tells Barry to look away while Ms. Dunham “pulls down her tights” and publicly urinates in a parking lot in front of “Barry.”

Dunham writes that Barry “jams a few of his fingers” inside her. Dunham herself admits, “I’m not sure whether I can’t stop it or I don’t want to.

Clearly, Ms. Dunham allowed “Barry” to continue putting his fingers inside her, and may not even have wanted him to stop.

Next, she willingly leaves the parking lot with “Barry,” and she takes Barry to her apartment. Once Ms. Dunham and “Barry” are in her apartment, Lena Dunham writes that they begin “doing all the things grown-ups do.”

In the next description, Ms. Dunham is aware that the condom, which she got from her own first-aid kit, had been removed by Barry.

“Why does he think it’s okay to take it off?” She asks herself in her book.

Ms. Dunham then tells Barry to put the condom back on.

Next, she writes that her and “Barry” are engaging in oral sex of one another at the same time, and she moans.

Dunham then asks, “Do you want to make me come?” …not once, but twice… “Do you want to make me come?” she asks again because “Barry” did not hear her the first time.

Next, Ms. Dunham describes the moment in which she sees that there is still no condom between her and her sex partner, so this is when she tells “Barry” to leave.

Before sunrise, Ms. Dunham went to her computer, and opened up a Word Document titled, “Intimacy Database.” Where she writes, “Barry. Number Four. We fucked. 69’d. It was terribly aggressive. Only once. No one came.”

She continues on:

“Barry fucked me. Fucked me so hard that the next morning I had to sit in a hot bath to soothe myself.”

Any reasonable person might ask, why is Ms. Dunham calling this consensual sex encounter “rape?”…because her friend told her the next day that it was rape, and to sell books.

Why is Ms. Dunham now publicly calling herself a “rape survivor” and trying to ‘encourage others’ to come forward and share their own “rape” stories… because she was caught falsely accusing a man of rape, and she and her publisher were threatened with a lawsuit by “Barry” –and to deflect from the justifiable outrage by people like me, who know that Lena is a child sexual abuser, and who that she wrote in her book about sexually molesting her sister as if it were a joke.

For Lena Dunham to call rough, consensual sex, “rape” is despicable, but for an organization like RAINN -designed to help rape and incest survivors- for RAINN to praise this woman, support her, and ignore what she did to her little sister, and to consider her “fucking Barry” a rape, is beyond reprehensible, and should be an outrage to all TRUE victims of rape, incest, and child molestation.

It appears that neither RAINN, nor Lena Dunham, has any idea what kind of pain and anger, and re-traumatizing has occurred in countless victims of child sexual abuse and rape by Dunham’s book, and by RAINN’s support of her.

Lena Dunham wrote in her book, Not That Kind of Girl, about her sister’s vagina and her obsession with it, as if she is still fantasizing about the child’s anatomy.

Ms. Dunham wrote about spreading open the child’s vagina, who was seven years younger than she was, “I leaned down between her legs and carefully spread open her vagina, she didn’t resist…”

“She didn’t resist…” are words of a pedophile, and or, a woman trying to sell books by using pornographic words about a child and to stimulate titillating images in the mind of the reader.

Ms. Dunham also wrote about masturbating -until age 17- with the child in bed next to her…and she used words that describe what might be found in the mind of any sexual predator of children: “Her sticky, muscly little body thrashed beside me every night.” (while Lena masturbated)

Lena Dunham wrote about bribing her little sister for kisses on the lips and bribed the child to get her to “relax” on top of Lena. She brazenly wrote about using psychological manipulation of the younger child and coercion. She even tried to instill fear into the little girl, in order to get the child to “trust” Lena.

Lena Dunham told Rolling Stone Magazine, that she used to force her little sister (who was age five -and Lena would have been age 13) to “make out” with Lena, while Lena wore her grandmother’s dialysis mask.

This alone, is highly disturbing, and deviant behavior for a thirteen year-old to perpetrate on a five year old.

Same-sex child sexual abuse, perpetrated by an older sibling, can have serious after-effects on the victim –including, but not limited to– creating confusing sexual identity issues in the victim, even to the point of the victim growing to believe they might be gay or lesbian, or bi-sexual, or might find themselves confused over being stimulated by a person of the same sex.

Lena’s victim, Grace Dunham has identified with being a lesbian, and Lena has herself joked about the possibility that Lena “made her sister gay.”

I suggest that the officers and staff of RAINN educate and inform themselves on the serious after-effects of Child-on Child sexual abuse. Which include, but are not limited to:

  • The high rate of sibling, and older-to-younger child sexual abuse.
  • Sibling sexual abuse is the least recognized form of incest, because the victims often don’t see themselves as victims, and adults want to pretend it is just “playing doctor” or “mutual exploration.”
  • Older brothers or sisters may take advantage of the sexual naïveté of younger siblings to initially trick them into incestuous behaviors.
  • Sexual behaviors are frequently couched in the context of play, and young victims are likely to find these activities pleasurable.
  • Child-on-Child sexual abuse is a form of child sexual abuse in which a prepubescent child is sexually abused by one or more other children or adolescent youths, and in which no adult is directly involved.
  • Child-on-Child sexual abuse occurs “without consent, without equality, or as a result of coercion.
  • It is common for the abused child to defend the perpetrating sibling, or other perpetrator, in order to retain their relationship, and because the victim did not know it was abuse.
  • The after-effects of Child-on-Child sexual abuse are often not known by the victim, or that it was even abuse, until the victim grows well into adulthood, and begins to make the connection between current-day physical, psychological, and emotional problems/and the acts perpetrated on them as a child.
  • Early childhood sexual abuse can affect sexual orientation.

Lena Dunham is not a role model, or spokesperson, for anyone except child sexual abusers, and for debauchery. Lena Dunham is too smug and retains too much support from her fans of “Girls” in order for Ms. Dunham to ever publicly apologize to every survivor and victim of child sexual abuse, and to every true adult rape survivor… or to the man she called a rapist.

However, RAINN owes a public apology for ever supporting, applauding, or otherwise encouraging Lena Dunham as a rape survivor. Because calling Lena Dunham’s account of that night, “rape,” devalues the true meaning of rape, and confuses society even more, about what rape is.

RAINN’s support of Lena Dunham sends a dangerous message to sexual deviants, and stains the innocence of children. It minimizes -to a grave point- true cases of rape, especially child rape, and it sends the message that child predation and sexual abuse are acceptable, and even laughable.

I recall when actress, Kristin Stewart, made a comment about feeling “raped” by celebrity paparazzi, and RAINN condemend her. RAINN has a duty and obligation to strongly condemn Lena Dunham, because what she has said, done, written, and what she represents is far worse than Kristen Stewart’s insensitive comment.

Not only did Lena Dunham consent to sex with “Barry,” she is herself, a child rapist, who is guilty of raping the innocence of a child, guilty of raping the child’s trust, guilty of violating the child’s vagina, mouth, and of crossing psychological and sexual boundaries with the child by masturbating next to the pre-pubescent when Lena was seventeen years-old.

What Lena Dunham has done to her little sister and the way she wrote about it, and that she is calling consensual sex, “rape,” in order to sell books and to sell herself, is very serious, and that RAINN has shown even an ounce of support for Lena Dunham, is a grave error.

Sincerely,

Alethea Marina-Nova

1. (Shaw, J (2000). “Child on child sexual abuse: Psychological perspectives.” Child Abuse & Neglect 24 (12): 1591–1600.

CC:

Meredith Ritchie, Communications Manager
202.544.5537
meredithr@rainn.org

Katherine Hull Fliflet, VP for Communications
202.544.3075
katherineh@rainn.org

*** Included in this letter, are photos, posted on Instagram, by Lena Dunham.

One photo depicts Lena straddling, or humping, her pre-pubescent sister, with the caption, “I was really happy to see my sister and treated her like the campus bicycle.” The image of the little girl’s legs underneath the weight of adult Lena, is sickening.

The other photo, Lena posted on Instagram, about a year ago, of her then five year-old sister wearing make-up, fake breasts, and “bad girl motorcycle chick” written on her tee-shirt. Lena posted the photo with the caption “that time I dressed my 5 year old sister as “Hell’s Angel’s sex property.”

Five year-old children are not “sex property,” and the photo shows an innocent child, being forced to do what her older sister wants her to do, in order to gratify her older sister’s sexual deviancy with children, and to make a child out to be a sexual object.

It is a snapshot of a five year-old child being psychologically abused, and it has been reported to authorities as child pornography.

__________________________________________________________

This letter has been mailed to RAINN, including the photos mentioned in the letter.

Sources:

I was really happy to see my sister

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

 

thoughtcatalog.com
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3535560
books.google.com

___________________________________________________________

 

 

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14 Responses to Open Letter To RAINN: You Owe An Apology To All Rape and Incest Victims

  1. Red says:

    That brings up a point–if someone raped you, would you want him to say hello to you the next day? Or would you be scared to death of seeing him and avoid him like the plague?

  2. Alethea says:

    Someone reminded me that when Barry didn’t say “hi” to Lena the next morning, she was annoyed.

    Until this very moment, I never realized how significant that was. In the mind of a nineteen year-old, and in the mind of Lena Dunham (scary I know), Barry not saying “hi” to her was a rejection…it was a very devious reason for Lena Dunham to call it rape and not consensual sex, and to -later on- want to get back at him in her book by accusing him of rape.

    • Alethea says:

      Ms. Dunham’s claim of rape –when it was CLEARLY consensual sex to anyone who has two degreees of intelligence– could also be a way to justify having an abortion.

  3. Alethea says:

    Does Lena Dunham give RAINN donations? Is this why they have not responded to my letters yet, or why they have not retracted their support for Lena Dunham? Maybe she pays them for their support of her, and RAINN calls it “donations.”

  4. Alethea says:

    Please, everyone, cancel your HBO and ask your Satellite provider to send you a copy of your cancellation, and then send it to HBO and tell them why you cancelled. If everyone does this, it sends a fabulous message to the Board Members and President of HBO.

  5. Lisa wilkins says:

    I am a survivor and we must take a stand against this and protect the children. No one listened , no one protected me. Please listen to us and put a stop to people like this . the abuse continues because no one listens or takes action . we need stiffer laws and more attention paid to these people and offenses.

  6. Red says:

    Thoughts on your “Girls” boycott:

    First of all, boycotting the actual show shouldn’t be too hard, in my estimation. Last years viewership checked in at only 650,000 or so and, according to Nielsen, about half of those viewers were (ugh!) older men.

    Dropping your HBO subscription if they order a fifth season is an idea, BUT, do you really want to pull out all the stops? HBO is owned by Time Warner. Why not take it to the limit and drop TimeWarner cable in favor of another provider and boycott Time and Newsweek (both of which have promoted this show like crazy) as well?

    • Alethea says:

      Red, I think the real problem is that if every person who feels as I do, and as you do, were to write/call/email/voice themselves/complain etc. to Time Warner Inc./HBO, then her show “Girls” would be cancelled in a hot minute. I have followed all the online news articles about her, and the comments (and there are thousands) have been 99% in disgust with this woman, and in agreement with me, but those thousands of people are not doing much, except calling her names and voicing their opinions in a comment on a new article online. They are not writing a letter to Time Warner/HBO inc.

      I think that hitting RAINN with complaints is a great way to go right now, because if RAINN sees their error, and publicly admits it, that would be big news.

      I printed out those two photos in 8X10 color format –the one of Lena’s little sister, and the one of Lena straddling the child on a bed. I printed them out and they are even more compelling blown up in an 8X10. I sent them to all the RAINN officials, with my letter, via U.S. mail. It will be interesting to see the response. RAINN may do nothing, because most people will not admit they were wrong, but here again, if EVERYONE who feels the same way as you and me, wrote RAINN –especially if abuse survivors and REAL rape victims do it, then RAINN would be forced to take a look at the damage they have done.

  7. KevinF says:

    Excellent letter, Alethea. You really make the points clearly and well.
    Best wishes for Christmas and 2015.

    • Alethea says:

      Yay! so happy to hear from you Kevin, I was thinking about you lately…wondering how you are….

      MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!! May you have a prosperous and peaceful New Year….

      • KevinF says:

        I’m very well, thanks, Alethea. Lots happening here in Australia with the royal judicial commission into child physical and sexual abuse in ‘care’ facilities now in its second year. The issue is becoming mainstream here as the commission exposes the extent of abuse and also it’s longterm effects. Catholics, anglicans, methodists, the salvation army and even yoga ashrams were all doing it. Lots of people coming forward to share their stories. It’s a genie that won’t be put back in a bottle – it’s out and can’t be denied and repressed any more. So best wishes again..

        • Alethea says:

          That’s strange Kevin, all this time I thought you lived in Ireland. My mistake.

          Happy to hear that lost of self-expression, truths, are coming out there.

          • KevinF says:

            I grew up in Ireland, Alethea, and thru the magic of the internet still keep in touch with what’s happening there. But I’ve lived in Australia for the past 30 years.

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