The Dangers of Cannabis

There is a huge movement across America, and other parts of the world, promoting the use of Cannabis for “health” and “well-being” — to “treat” depression, loneliness, stress, and fatigue.

Cannabis vaper devices, liquids, topicals, and edibles are promoted to avoid smoking the substance –as if it becomes “healthy” for you as long as you don’t smoke it.

Hemp Oil is highly pushed for insomnia, stress, depression and anxiety.

Hemp-oil-cures

 

WARNING to readers:

I tried Hemp Oil for about a week when I was experiencing severe pain from an unresolved psychological trauma. I looked to the Hemp Oil out of desperation because I could not sleep or function due to the pain in my body.  I was terrified of prescription drugs, as they can cause loss of limbs, total peeling off of the skin, or death. (the woman in the article, who lost her skin, was prescribed Lamictal, sometimes used to treat bipolar disorders and depression.)

Taking the Hemp Oil was a huge mistake because it caused the underlying issue -my trauma- to surface in my body before I was ready to face it. The Hemp Oil caused me to experience extreme dizziness to the point of almost having to go to a hospital. I could feel the Hemp Oil heavily in my body that morning. I knew it was causing the problem and immediately stopped taking it. The dizziness never returned and my body felt a huge sigh of relief.

The memory connected to the dizziness came out in therapy a few weeks later when I was ready to handle it. I dealt with the dizziness by dealing with the memory.

It is dangerous to promote the use of Cannabis for stress, fatigue, loneliness, or depression.

The issues listed above are all symptoms of a person’s deeper-rooted psychological problem. “Psyche” mean “soul.” The person’s soul is not at peace. Depression is anger turned inward on one’s self. “loneliness” is an Ego problem, based in NEED/desire. The human Ego needs to be addressed.

Becoming addicted to substances will NOT cure or heal you. In addition, people need to know that the U.S. government owns the patent for Cannabis. If you use your intelligence, you can figure out the implications -future dangers- of the United States Government owning the patent to a substance that is used for treating medical issues, or for recreation or stress.

Anxiety, depression, stress and insomnia are symptoms of something deeper –something in the soul (Psyche) or Ego-needs of the person is crying out to be heard.

All Cannabis does, is the same thing that RX drugs do –it suppresses/represses the real problem in the person’s soul/psyche/mind, and the problem will show itself in other ways. The unresolved pain will create worse problems in the person’s body, or in their psychological/emotional state.

True healing comes from within, not from outward substances. The root cause of illness and disease must be found, or humanity will be forever stumbling around in the dark tripping over themselves, running into walls -hurting and killing themselves with outward treatments that do not heal anyone –do not truly heal anyone of anything. Prescription drugs, surgeries, and Chemotherapy can be deadly and harmful. Substances like Cannabis are only treating the symptom. 

The symptom is a cry for help from the soul of a person –a strong message that something is not okay in the soul, and or, mind of that person.

Anyone interested in TRUE healing, without dependency on anything, or anyone, please read my article on my coming Blog. It is about the powers of the MIND, and how you can change your life.

-Alethea Nova

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Posted in Cannabis, Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Headlines, Health, Holistic, Mind, Body, Spirit, News, repressed memory | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Repressed/Recovered Memory and Dissociation Explained

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Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Crime, Headlines, Health, Holistic, Mind, Body, Spirit, repressed memory | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Airline Passenger Spots Child Abuser Texting About Child Molestation, Saves Victims

Here is another case of a woman being involved in child sexual abuse. The person the man was texting to set up sex acts with children, is a woman.

 

Written by Rachel Herron

A Seattle preschool teacher recently proved that the phrase “see something, say something” can actually save lives. While on a flight from Seattle to San Jose on Monday, she reported a possible case of sexual abuse after reading texts on a fellow passenger’s phone that referenced sexual acts with children, authorities said.

During the Southwest Airlines flight, the woman noticed explicit messages involving sexual fetishes with children on a man’s phone. The man, who sat in front of her, used large font on his phone and held the device in plain sight of other travelers. Once the woman noticed a few messages she found disturbing, she reported the man to the flight crew, reported Mercury News.

“It’s kind of mind-blowing,” San Jose sex crimes detective Nick Jourdenais told Mercury News. “She gets on a plane, a normal citizen minding her business. A couple of hours later, she’s intervening on quite possibly the most traumatic thing children can go through. This was life-altering for them.”

“It was in large font, and she sees certain words and starts contemplating there’s something bigger there,” Jourdenais said. “Then the conversation transitions to children. That’s the moment when she decided to preserve the evidence as best as she could.”

michael-kellar

When the woman noticed the messages, she took photos of some of the texts with her own smartphone and then quietly alerted the flight crew. They contacted San Jose police and its airport division stationed at Mineta San Jose International Airport.

“Kudos to this young lady. She went a step further,” Sgt. Brian Spears, commander of the SJPD Internet Crimes Against Children task force told Mercury News. “Without us responding right away, he would have been lost.”

Once the plane landed, San Jose police, along with San Francisco-based FBI agents, detained 56-year-old Tacoma resident Michael Kellar.

When Jourdenais and Michael O’Grady searched Kellar’s phone, the suspect dismissed his text messages as nothing more than fantasy and role playing. Yet the detectives continued their investigation and contacted FBI agents and detectives back in Seattle.

Using smartphone technology, the detectives located the home in Tacoma where the woman exchanging texts with Kellar lived. After responding to the home, they discovered two children, ages 5 and 7, who were being sexually abused.

Investigators contend that Kellar was making sexual requests for the children and that the woman, identified as 50-year-old Gail Burnworth, was carrying them out.

Kellar was booked into the Santa Clara County Main Jail on suspicion of two felony counts each of attempted child molestation and solicitation of a sex crime. He is being held without bail.

Burnworth was booked into jail in Pierce County, Washington, on suspicion of felony counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, rape of a child and dealing in depictions of a minor engaged in sexually explicit conduct.

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http://www.bet.com/news/national/2017/08/04/woman-saves-children-from-sexual-abuse-after-reading-text-messag.html

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Sexual Assault May Trigger Involuntary Paralysis

“Tonic immobility” hinders the ability to fight and is linked to high rates of depression and PTSD”

  • By Francine Russo on August 4, 2017  in the Scientific American

Survivors of sexual assault who come forward often confront doubt on the part of others. Did you fight back? they are asked. Did you scream? Just as painful for them, if not more so, can be a sense of guilt and shame. Why did I not resist? they may ask themselves. Is it my fault? And to make matters worse, although the laws are in flux in various jurisdictions, active resistance can be seen as necessary for a legal or even “common sense” definition of rape. Unless it is clearly too dangerous, as when the rapist is armed, resisting is generally thought to be the “normal” reaction to sexual assault.

But new research adds to the evidence debunking this common belief. According to a recent study, a majority of female rape survivors who visited the Emergency Clinic for Rape Victims in Stockholm reported they did not fight back. Many also did not yell for help. During the assault they experienced a kind of temporary paralysis called tonic immobility. And those who experienced extreme tonic immobility were twice as likely to suffer post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and three times more likely to suffer severe depression in the months after the attack than women who did not have this response.

Tonic immobility (TI) describes a state of involuntary paralysis in which individuals cannot move or, in many cases, even speak. In animals this reaction is considered an evolutionary adaptive defense to an attack by a predator when other forms of defense are not possible. Much less is known about this phenomenon in humans, although it has been observed in soldiers in battle as well as in survivors of sexual assault. A study from 2005, for example, found 52 percent of female undergraduates who reported childhood sexual abuse said they experienced this paralysis.

The new study, published in Acta Obstetrecia et Gynecologica Scandinavica,reports that of nearly 300 women who visited the rape clinic, 70 percent experienced at least “significant” tonic immobility and 48 percent met the criteria for “extreme” tonic immobility during the rape. (The condition’s severity was assessed using a scale that measured feelings of being frozen, mute, numb and so on.)

This latest research is important because of its large sample size (298 women reporting, 189 of whom returned for a follow-up assessment after six months) and because they related their experience within 30 days of the assault, thus reducing the possibility of faulty recall. These findings strongly support previous research that links this involuntary paralysis with greater psychological harm following the assault. The 2005 study, for example, found an association between having experienced tonic immobility and significant psychological impairment.

The connection between this paralysis response and suffering greater PTSD and depression makes sense at the intuitive level, clinicians say. Women, men and children who are sexually assaulted and think they should have resisted but did not may also be prone to feeling guilt and shame. The correlation is strong although it does not prove causality. “I am not surprised that tonic immobility is common,” says University of Sydney psychiatrist Kasia Kozlowska, who has recently published, with her colleagues, a study in the Harvard Review of Psychiatry about the brain’s involuntary defense mechanisms in humans and other animals. “After all,” she wrote in an e-mail, “tonic immobility is designed to activate when there is contact with a predator (akin to the sexual abuse situation). Theoretically, one could expect it to activate when there is physical contact, high arousal and fear, and no possibility of running away.”

This “rape-induced paralysis,” she explains, is one of six automatically activated defense behaviors in animals and humans that make up the “defense cascade.” Typically, nonhuman animals are programmed to go through each of the states as the proximity of the danger escalates. The stages are: arousal (alertness to possible danger); freezing (momentarily putting flight or fight on hold while assessing danger); “flight or fight”; tonic immobility; collapsed immobility (fainting in fear); and quiescent immobility (a subsequent state of rest that promotes healing). People who experience sexual assault may go through several of these stages, or skip straight to tonic immobility.

Each of the defense reactions, she explains, involves activation of motor and arousal centers in the brain and changes in pain and sensory processing. When flight or fight is possible, motor programs for running or fighting are activated, the arousal system is switched to a high-energy setting and nonopioid analgesia is switched on. This helps the victim either run away or fight the predator. When flight or fight is not possible, immobility motor programs are activated, causing the paralysis. At the same time, the arousal system is switched to a low-energy setting, and the brain is flooded with “opioid analgesia” to reduce the intensity of the fear and pain.

Humans and other animals cannot control these defense mechanisms. In humans who are being raped, tonic immobility may be immediately triggered when their sensory inputs (touch, smell and so on) reach a critical threshold and they feel there is no escape.

The implications for rape survivors in the legal system are immense, experts say. If courts demand these people prove they resisted, says Kozlowska, “these courts are actually causing psychological harm to the women and failing to recognize the body’s innate response to serious attack.” Police and soldiers, she adds, also experience tonic immobility in traumatic situations and similarly suffer from unnecessary guilt.

The phenomenon of tonic immobility during an attack is not well known within the legal and judicial system, but people working with sexual assault survivors have long been aware of it, says James Hopper, a psychological trauma expert and teaching associate at Harvard Medical School. Since 2012 Hopper has been training civilian and military investigators and prosecutors around the country, and has found them very receptive.

It is critical, says Karolinska Institute gynecologist Anna Möller, the current study’s lead author, for rape survivors themselves to understand that their ability to fight was out of their conscious control. Education could be instrumental in altering their interpretations of their behavior after the fact, reducing their shame and guilt. It could provide them, the study authors say, “with evidence that they do not choose the path their bodies ultimately went down.”…

Related: Former Miss America, Marilyn Van derbur, was sexually abused by her father, including rape for almost thirteen years. Marilyn has written the wonderful book, Miss America by Day. In her book and in her public speeches, Marilyn has talked about being physically paralyzed from head to toe because of the incest. Marilyn’s paralysis was the unresolved incest issues using her body to say, “You are not over this yet. Deal with me.” This is only one aspect of the many physical problems that Marilyn had suffered because of her father raping her for so many years. How do you think Marilyn would react to being told while lying in bed completely paralyzed that she ought to just get up and “quit being a victim?’

https://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/former-miss-america-marilyn-van-derbur-was-paralyzed-from-the-incest-part-two-in-a-series/

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https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/sexual-assault-may-trigger-involuntary-paralysis/

Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Crime, Headlines, Health, Holistic, Mind, Body, Spirit, News, repressed memory | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul Shanley -Perpetrator in Famous Case of Repressed Memories- Released From Prison

So sorry everyone. I had no computer for three weeks…

Priest at center of clergy sex abuse scandal to be released

By DENISE LAVOIE
AP Legal Affairs Writer

BOSTON (AP) – One of the most notorious figures in the Boston clergy sex abuse scandal has completed his prison sentence on child rape charges and will be released this week after two experts hired by prosecutors found he does not meet the legal criteria to be held as a sexually dangerous person.

Paul Shanley was known in the 1960s and ’70s for being a hip street priest who reached out to troubled youths. But in 2005 he was convicted of repeatedly raping and fondling a boy at a suburban parish in the 1980s, and he was sentenced to 12 to 15 years in prison.

Middlesex District Attorney Marian Ryan said Tuesday that her office hired two psychiatric experts to evaluate Shanley, now 86 years old, to see if he should continue to be held after completing his sentence. Both experts told prosecutors that he does not meet the legal criteria for civil confinement as a sexually dangerous person.

Once Shanley is released Friday, he will begin 10 years of supervised probation.

Shanley was defrocked after dozens of men came forward and said he had molested them when they were children.

Attorney Mitchell Garabedian, who represented some of those men in lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Boston, said his clients are upset that Shanley is getting out of prison.

“Unfortunately, there is no mechanism in place which will prevent Paul Shanley from sexually abusing once again,” Garabedian said. “When it comes to a sexual abuser abusing an innocent child, the abuser can be 35 or 95 – there’s no age limit.”

Ryan said Shanley is prohibited from interacting with children.

“The defendant will be monitored by the probation department for the next 10 years and has been ordered to have no contact with children under 16 years of age,” she said.

Under a Massachusetts law, prosecutors may petition a court to have a defendant indefinitely confined as a sexually dangerous person after completion of a prison sentence if the state can prove he suffers from a mental illness or abnormality that makes him incapable of controlling sexually dangerous impulses.

After Shanley was convicted, prosecutors asked a judge to send him to prison for the rest of his life.

Ryan said both doctors who evaluated Shanley concluded that he does not satisfy the legal criteria for prosecutors to file a petition seeking to confine him after his prison sentence.

During the trial, Shanley’s accuser, then a 27-year-old firefighter, said Shanley would pull him from Sunday catechism classes and rape and fondle him at St. Jean’s parish in Newton, beginning when he was 6 years old. The man said he recovered memories of the abuse as the clergy sex abuse scandal unfolded in the Archdiocese of Boston during the early 2000s.

Shanley’s trial attorney, Frank Mondano, declined to comment on Shanley’s upcoming release from prison. During the trial, Mondano challenged the reliability of the accuser’s repressed memories.

Shanley’s appellate lawyer, Robert Shaw Jr., said Shanley has “served his time.”

“We’ve never believed that he was dangerous, and we didn’t believe that what he was convicted of was a valid conviction, given that it rested on repressed memory evidence that we did not believe was valid,” he said.

The Archdiocese of Boston, the fourth-largest archdiocese in the country, with more than 1.8 million Catholics, said Shanley’s crimes against children were “reprehensible.”

“No young person should ever have to experience such violations of their safety and dignity,” it said in a statement released Tuesday.

The clergy sex abuse scandal exploded in Boston in 2002 after a series of stories by The Boston Globe revealed that dozens of priests in the archdiocese had molested and raped children for decades while church supervisors covered it up and shuffled abusive priests from parish to parish. Thousands of victims came forward in Boston and around the world, describing sexual abuse by priests that dated back decades.

Copyright 2017 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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Posted in Child Abuse, child molestation, child sexual abuse, Crime, Headlines, Health, Mind, Body, Spirit, News, repressed memory | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Vagina Monologues Promotes Child Molestation and Rape

vaginamonologues

The Vagina Monologues, was created by Eve Ensler, who placed a scene in the play called, “The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could.”

In the skit, a 24-year-old woman seduces a 13-year-old girl with alcohol, and then sexually molests her. By moral law, this is RAPE, and it is a crime under the law.

In the play, the little girl declared:

“Now people say it was a kind of rape … Well, I say if it was rape, it was a good rape…”

After concerned individuals complained about The Vagina Monologues, the reference to “good rape” was stopped in some performances of the play, but the so-called ‘positive’ experience of a young girl being seduced and sexually abused by a grown woman, remained the theme.

In the play, the little girl raved about her orgasm (an orgasm brought on, during an act of child sexual abuse). The child proclaims in the play, “she gently and slowly lays me out on the bed”… “I’ll never need to rely on a man.”

In updated versions of the play (also due to complaints by the public), the 13 year-old girl was changed to a 16 year-old. However, even a sixteen year-old girl does not have the discrimination to make rational decisions when seduced and manipulated by an older woman who, by age alone, is an authority figure to the girl, and usually someone the victim trusts or looks up to.

The suggestion that female-female sexual abuse is “good” for the child, and not sexual abuse at all, was made quite clear in this play.

The Vagina Monologues encouraged the disturbing belief that if a woman sexually molests a female child, it’s okay, and even good for the little girl.

The Vagina Monologues is presented nationwide, every year on Valentine’s Day, a day which symbolizes Love, devotion, self-sacrifice, courtship, and romance. This play has devalued what true Love is, by advertising the play as “V” Day, as in “vagina” and by running the play ‘in honor’ of Valentine’s Day.

This play has nothing to do with Love, romance, courtship, or mutual respect in a committed relationship. The Vagina Monologues consists of numerous monologues read by many different actresses, with each of the monologues addressing varying aspects of female experiences, like sex, love, rape, menstruation, female genital mutilation, masturbation, birth, and orgasm.

The recurring theme of the play is that the vagina is a tool of female empowerment, and ‘the ultimate embodiment of individuality’ and the play goes into tampons and tools used in OBGYN exams, and even considers the word “cunt” to be positive.

Supporters of the play praise its fund-raising abilities, and that it will help “end violence against women.” On the contrary, this play encourages violence against women.

The Vagina Monologues, is alarming on multiple levels.

Many versions of this play not only promotes female to female child molestation against a teenage girl, but the play portrays the idea that women don’t even need men –that they should become lesbians.

The play also annihilates the beautiful concept of Valentine’s Day and denegrates it into a day for the celebration of lesbians, child abuse, vaginas, and feminism.

Women, by nature, are supposed to be the protectors of children, not the abusers of them.

Throughout time, females have been counted on to retain compassion, dignity, and the right for life to exist. It is women who have been given the sole right to nurse a child, and who have been looked to for comforting victims, and are the only gender to be able to give birth to a child.

Feminism, is not about empowering women. Feminism -as it stands- has nothing to do with women’s rights, equal pay, or political, social and economic equality to men.

There is nothing empowering about ‘talking vaginas,’ the degradation of women, the physical and emotional power of sexually abusing a child, or the purposeful degradation of men. It is not empowering for a woman to discuss her vagina.

Empowerment of women begins when women stop only defending one another, and instead, defend truth, justice, femininity, children -and men when men need defending or nurturing, or to feel like real men.

The empowerment of women begins when women stop believing they are the superior sex (both sexes have good qualities), that they don’t need men, and when they honor the true feminine qualities of grace, compassion, softness, inner beauty, and respect and dignity for all life, and for men.

Powerful women look to the good attributes of men, and admire them, by uplifting men with honor and respect for their goodness, masculinity, and as the defenders of women and children that manhood is supposed to be.

How can women expect a man to be a protector and a guardian of women, if women continue to demoralize men, and make them feel obsolete?

Powerful women use their bodies as a way to be gentle and powerful simultaneously.

Women were once considered Sacred in this world, but feminism has all but abolished the sanctity of women.

Ultimately, Valentine’s Day, is linked to Saint Valentine. Saints represent sanctity, holiness, self-sacrifice, and consecration to a place of honor and reverence.

This is what women should strive for –not to be more powerful than men, or to outdo them, or to replace them –but to raise their consciousness to a place where men desire to revere women again.

If women want to end violence against women, then they need to begin by looking at themselves, and their role in how men see them.

It’s no wonder why so many men are full of anger and resentment, and feelings of inadequacy. A lot of women -especially feminists- treat men like crap by degrading them, and by minimizing their important role in life.

Love has respect for both genders, and Love honors the innate qualities in each sex.

May the innocence and intrinsic love in children, remind you of Valentine’s day.

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Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vagina_Monologues
http://www.wendymcelroy.com/rockwell/mcelroy000403.html
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2014/11/lena_dunham_gay_rights_pioneer.html
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/kristen-cunnanes-harrowing-tale-of-a-coachs-sexual-abuse/
Posted in Child Abuse | 16 Comments

Personal Mental Defense Systems in Sexual Abuse Victims

(Edited re-post)

Stacey Lannert’s father sexually abused her for years, and her mother ignored it. Stacey ended up protecting herself by killing her father. After she was incarcerated for murder, (Stacey has since been released from prison) Stacey spoke out about needing to remember the good side of her father.

redemption-stacey-lannert1

Stacey said that, instead of remembering that her father had raped her, she remembers when he would, “just be my daddy and he’d hold me, talk to me, or just call me his tiger in a loving voice.”

Truddi Chase (pictured below with Oprah)  suffered sadistic abuse and rapes by her father. Her mother also physically abused and threatened her.

“It’s hard to think mean thoughts about a mother who trimmed the crusts off the bread for your school sandwiches” ~Truddi Chase speaking about her mother

Truddi Chase on Oprah

As adults, Stacey and Truddi express the human denial system in its purest form –with the simplicity of a child.

“It is understandable that some would choose to deny their memories, preferring to endure the anguish of symptoms rather than the anguish of the remembering process”~Anne Hart

A Holocaust survivor, who lived in the Auschwitz concentration camp for one year, also offers an example of how sincere the human denial system is.

When asked by her therapist about her memories of being imprisoned. the previous prisoner of war said, “I remember it had beautiful flowers.” She then sat silently for five full minutes before finally beginning to cry.

The conscious denial of the prison camp, allowed her to operate in the present. However, the woman’s method for repressing her experience had failed, because she continued to suffer in her daily life.

This is what happens when adult survivors of child sexual abuse, or incest, function in the same denial system that helped them survive the horrors of abuse in the first place.

However, this unconscious ritual ends up failing when -later in life- the soul cries out to be relieved of the pain. For a time, the previously useful arrangement between the conscious and unconscious mind, helped the person maintain a somewhat functional life, but eventually it becomes a prison and the memories beg to come through to consciousness.

It’s not surprising, or uncommon, that victims of sexual abuse would deny their history of abuse. Even perpetrators deny having been sexually assaulted as children.

FBI agent Roy Hazelwood did a survey on forty-one rapists, who combined had perpetrated at least 837 rapes. The perpetrators were asked about any personal experiences with having been sexually abused as a child. Only one man stated that he had been abused. This surprised Hazelwood, so he asked the rapists about their earliest sexual experience. It was clear that most of the men had been victims of child sexual assault. Thirty-one of the rapists (seventy-six percent) did not realize that their first experience with sex had been abusive –even though one man had been raped by his father until he was eleven years old.

The case of a five year old girl who saw her father fatally shoot her mother and then commit suicide is an excellent example of how victims begin to deny the trauma and pain shortly after the traumatic experiences take place. Five weeks after the traumatic crime, the child was asked by a mental health professional, what the worst thing was that had ever happened to her.

In that moment the child displayed a marked alteration in her facial expression, stopped playing, moved her face and head away from the interviewer and stared into space. After a long pause, she said, “I wanted to stay up late last weekend and have pizza, but I had to go to bed.” After her statement, the interview consisted of the girl giving only single word responses.

Abused children will do anything they can in order defend their survival. This includes “fantasy escapes,” or by forcibly attempting to drive the events from consciousness.

When Dr. Joy Silberg asks her child patients to recall their trauma, they reply, “Don’t ask me. It hurts my brain.”

These victims are actively trying to compel the events out of their mind.

Another woman, with no conscious awareness of any child abuse, was extremely troubled by rage. When her therapist asked her to draw a picture of what had caused her anger, an instantaneous flood of hidden emotions were provoked. Without knowing why, the woman drew a picture of the Catholic Church she had attended as a small child. A short time later she began to recall being sexually abused by her childhood priest.

Validation for the woman’s memories was established when she and her husband did some investigating and found that three years earlier, the priest pleaded guilty to molesting a ten year-old girl and was serving time in prison.

Another example is how the mind can sometimes use symbols for traumatic events. Two books, The Courage to Heal and Uncovering Memories of Sexual Abuse in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, both discuss women who remember a knife as what penetrated them instead of a penis.

To a small child, the first time a penis is forced inside their vagina or rectum, it can feel as if they have been penetrated by a knife.  I can attest to this first-hand.

Traumatic memories can surface in other protective ways. One woman had been experiencing moments of vaginal pain along with flashes of lollipops. In therapy she remembered molestation that had taken place on routine visits to her pediatrician.

At first, the woman thought she had been molested with a lollipop. However, when she relayed her newly recalled memories to her parents, they told her she had been sexually abused as a child by the family doctor, who had given her a lollipop after each visit.

The more severe abuse, or psychologically damaging aspect of sexual abuse, usually shows itself as treatment progresses, or even towards the end of therapy.

Children, who have just been removed from an abusive situation, commonly disclose the least terrifying, or the less intense parts of being sexually abused, before finally reporting the more severe trauma.

Adult survivors of sexual abuse and trauma, who are still blocking out certain experiences, allow themselves to remember the abuse in essentially the same way.

However, some people might think that being raped by a parent, or having been threatened with death with a knife, would be the worst part of having been traumatized and emotionally scarred as a child. But when sexual abuse is not recalled until adulthood, the most emotionally painful event often emerges after memories of a physically violent rape or terrifying experiences are recalled.

It has been my personal experience, and of others, that memories of the emotional attachment to the perpetrator and any sexual stimulation a victim might feel during the molestation or rape, usually come back to the adult survivor much later in the healing work.

Most adult survivors keep extremely painful truths hidden from themselves for a very long time. This can include that some of the sexual abuse felt good, orgasms, that they enjoyed being touched, or that they felt sad when the abuse ended.

For other people, the deep and powerful emotional pain can be remembering sexual abuse by a family member of the same-sex, especially if it felt good. Or the victim had an orgasm with their perpetrator.

This system is a self-survival system. But it only works for so long, and one day, the memories beg to come through to consciousness. When this happens, the adult survivor will begin to develop serious problems like self-punishment, self-sabotage, destructive behaviors, self-hatred, self-abuse, eating disorders, drug and alcohol addiction, and other psychologically-induced physical illnesses.

When we do not deal with the subconscious mind, it deals with us.

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Source Notes:
Hearing the Survivor’s Voice: Sundering the Wall of Denial, Sandra Bloom, Journal of Psychohistory, Vol 21, Number 4, spring 1994, page 462
Stacey Lannert, Free Stacey Lannert Website, Stacey’s Writings
When Rabbit Howls, Truddi Chase, Introduction and Epilogue by Robert A. Philips Jr., Ph.D, 1987
Holocaust Survivor’s Mental Health, T.L. Brink Ph.D. Editor, pages 22-23 (Also published as Clinical Gerontologist, Volume 14, Number 3 1994), 1994 Haworth Press, Inc. Birmingham NY Holocaust Survivor’s Mental Health, T.L. Brink Ph.D. Editor, page 23 (Also published as Clinical Gerontologist, Volume 14, Number 3 1994), 1994 Haworth Press, Inc. Birmingham NY
The Evil That Men Do: FBI Profiler Roy Hazelwood’s Journey into the Minds of Sexual Predators, Stephen G. Michaud with Roy Hazelwood, St. Martin’s Press, New York, 1998, page 123.
Memories of Fear How the Brain Stores and Retrieves Physiologic States, Feelings, Behaviors and Thoughts from Traumatic Events Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. The Child Trauma Academy, Academy version of a chapter originally appearing in “Splintered Reflections: Images of the Body in Trauma” (Edited by J. Goodwin and R. Attias) Basic Books (1999)
Memories Called Key in Abuse Suits, Beth Miller, The News Journal, April 13, 2007
“The Recovered Memory Project” Ross Cheit, “Woman relies on Repressed Memory in Alleging Priest Abuse” Maine Sunday Telegram October 26 1997: 1B
The Courage to Heal, Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, page 90
Uncovering Memories of Sexual Abuse in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, Charlotte Prozan, Construction and Reconstruction of Memory: Dilemmas of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Charlotte Prozan Editor, Jason Aaronson Inc., 1997, page 126
The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, Updated Third Edition, HarperCollins, 1994, page 90
Behind the Playground Walls: Sexual Abuse in Preschools, Jill Waterman Ph.D, Robert J. Kelly Ph.D, Mary Kay Oliveri MSW, Jane Mc Cord, Ph.D, 1993, The Guilford Press page 68
Memories of Fear How the Brain Stores and Retrieves Physiologic States, Feelings, Behaviors and Thoughts from Traumatic Events Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. The Child Trauma Academy http://www.ChildTrauma.org  Academy version of a chapter originally appearing in “Splintered Reflections: Images of the Body in Trauma” (Edited by J. Goodwin and R. Attias) Basic Books (1999)
The Voice of Memory: One Woman’s Journey to Reclaim the Past, Beatriz Terrazas, Dallas Morning News, June 11, 2000
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